How much do you trust in yourself? When you have a decision to make, who do you talk it through with? On Saturday, I was umming and ahing whether to go out with a man I had met...on the one hand, I knew what I wanted (or didn't want) to do. On the other hand, a thousand other voices in my head were telling me to go for it, no wonder I am single if I refuse dates, why the hell not, maybe you'll connect on a date in a way you didn't when you met...
And so on. I considered talking it through with a friend, and then decided to talk it through with myself - my friends will only say the same as I do (I picked them, I know what they will say!). So I had a little chat with myself. I changed one thing though - the voices that tell me I'm a useless, antisocial git had to be constructive! So rather than accusing myself of being an antisocial git, I raised the point that it could be seen this way.
Which allowed me to see how ridiculous that argument is. Just because I am single, does not mean I have to go on dates...it means I can if I want. There are people who will say I'm too choosy (they never met some of my ex's), and people who will say that I should give him a chance. However, I am a busy woman, and I do not spend time with people just because they are there! I spend time with people I have a connection with.
And here's the decider for trusting me - I am really good at spotting if there is a connection with someone. I have been in business for 3 years, and one of the key skills I've learnt is relationship building (which includes relationship severing - why waste time with people you don't connect with?). This is not to insult this chap - he is a nice bloke. There was just no connection on this occasion for me. Who knows what will happen in the future?!
The actual circumstances of this decision are largely irrelevant - the most important thing is that I had a decision to make, and I made it all by myself (well, mostly - I also got a call that cemented my decision, but that's another story!). I trusted myself to know what's best for me. I didn't do what I thought I 'should' do, or what anyone else thought I 'should' do. And do you know what? I am unreasonably proud of that fact!
If you trusted yourself, what decision would you make today?
Love
Donna.x
Hi Donna,
ReplyDeletefrom my own experience it is always better to trust your own instincts and do what you feel is right.
Sometimes I wish I could rely on others, but the past has always proven me wrong when I did this.
Love
Christina
Hi Christina
ReplyDeleteThis made me chuckle. I wonder how much easier life would be if we never expected someone else to have our answers?
Love
Donna.x