Something to live for

The other night I was driving home down a dark country road, and was reminded of another such night several years ago when I was also driving home down a dark country road, with my foot hard on the accelerator and a vague thought in my head that it would solve a lot of problems if me and the car met oblivion in the shape of a big tree at high speed on that road. I remember realising with some horror what I was contemplating and deliberately easing off the accelerator.

I also remember my shock that such a thought had crossed my mind, and the fear that life wouldn’t get better and that thought would come back, stronger and more insistent. I was 25, and until then had a very strong grip on life…suddenly I felt like I didn’t want to hold on any longer. Fortunately my fear that I would become obsessed with crashing my car into a tree proved unfounded, and I started to do something about the life I was so miserable in.

When I remembered this the other night, the thought crossed my mind again, and this time the answer was a crisp ‘don’t be ridiculous, you have far too much to do’. Not as in my to-do list, but as in much to live for. It’s been 8 years since that night, and I can honestly say that I have absolutely no intention of leaving this world for a good 70 years yet (depending on medical developments and toyboys, maybe 80).

The difference? Well, now I have something to life for. I have purpose. I have passion. I have joy. I am part of something magnificent – life. There is so much beauty, genius and wonder in the world that I plan to stay and be a part of that. AND there is so much wasted talent, so many gifts going unused, so much joy not being felt that I plan to stay and CHANGE that. Now that is something to live for.

Love

Donna.x