Sorry folks - if you keep coming back to this page and finding nothing new (firstly congratulations for your patience!), it's because I am in the process of moving my blog over to my website. I am still messing with it and figuring out how it all works, but the plan is to get back to regular blogging soon.
So, come on over to see me at www.donnaonthebeach.com
Don't forget to leave me a comment to say you've been by!
Love
Donna.x
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
MIA
Hello lovely readers!!! I am sorry, I have been missing in action a lot this month - just busy busy busy! A million and one ideas which never got made into blog posts...what a waste!!
The big highlight this week was the V festival in Staffs - Mud, Music, Rain, Sunshine, Mud, more Music and temperatures November would be proud of - BRILLIANT! It's wonderful when you can get into a situation where you are purely in the moment, oblivious of past, future, worries and stresses. And I was fully in that place during the headline act - Muse - totally present.
So present in fact that I lost my voice entirely! So when was the last time that you enjoyed being totally present and in the moment? Or are you too busy worrying about the past or the future? Put yourself in a situation where you can just be in that moment...you don't have to have the mud and the rain if you don't want to!
Love
Donna.x
The big highlight this week was the V festival in Staffs - Mud, Music, Rain, Sunshine, Mud, more Music and temperatures November would be proud of - BRILLIANT! It's wonderful when you can get into a situation where you are purely in the moment, oblivious of past, future, worries and stresses. And I was fully in that place during the headline act - Muse - totally present.
So present in fact that I lost my voice entirely! So when was the last time that you enjoyed being totally present and in the moment? Or are you too busy worrying about the past or the future? Put yourself in a situation where you can just be in that moment...you don't have to have the mud and the rain if you don't want to!
Love
Donna.x
OnTheBeach - You Should Do This Challenge
- A note from Donna -
As you read this, I will most likely be asleep - even if it's afternoon in the UK - yes, I am that lazy…but I have a good reason this time. Yesterday (if you're reading this on Monday) I went to the V festival! I am so ridiculously excited about this - my favourite band are headlining, and I haven't done the festival thing for a couple of years so the anticipation is HUGE! I do remember from years gone by though that even one day at a festival requires a massive lie in. So that's what I'm probably doing…maybe I should get up and work, it being Monday…but I am SO not doing that! Hazah!
- You Should Do This Challenge -
What should you be doing? Instead of reading this? Instead of relaxing? Instead of having a nice weekend? Instead of enjoying your life? Possible answers: working; doing chores; visiting family; making things happen. "Should" really is a cruel word. It manages to make you feel guilty, lazy, unsuccessful, and bad about yourself in just 6 letters. It's quite an achievement actually how bad "should" can make you feel, without trying.
Of course, it isn't the word's fault, it is the way we wield a 'should' - we use it as a weapon against ourselves. Try it - think of 5 things you should be doing or have done. Feel good about any of them? No, thought not. In fairness, as a weapon to make yourself feel like shit, it is enormously effective. But I'm guessing that as you're reading this newsletter, feeling like shit isn't high on your list of priorities?
If it is…what are you thinking??? I've long thought that in place of "I should" should be "I should but I'm not gonna" because most of the time shoulds are made up of things you don't want to do. After all, if you wanted to do them, you would be! There would be no need to should on yourself. You may be getting the sense from this that I am not a big fan of the word 'should'!
I don't mind it in some uses, but when it is used by someone to beat themselves up over what they have not done (and probably will not do), it drives me into a furious frenzy. It is not motivating to go through a list of all the things you 'should' do; it is never good when 'I should be doing the ironing instead of healing' is the main thought in someone's mind; and it is tragic when someone uses a should to stop themselves enjoying their life.
Please, for me, just for this week, don't use "I should"…replace it with "I want to" and enjoy your life. Life's too short to make it 'shouldy'.
- Something To Play With -
Your challenge this week is to erase the phrase "I should" from your vocabulary. Every time you catch yourself saying it (and if you're like my clients, this could be a hundred times a day!!), stop and replace it with "I want…" For example "I should be working" "I want to go and enjoy the sunshine" or "I should be doing chores" "I want to go to the pictures". The world won't end…and you might even enjoy yourself! Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
As you read this, I will most likely be asleep - even if it's afternoon in the UK - yes, I am that lazy…but I have a good reason this time. Yesterday (if you're reading this on Monday) I went to the V festival! I am so ridiculously excited about this - my favourite band are headlining, and I haven't done the festival thing for a couple of years so the anticipation is HUGE! I do remember from years gone by though that even one day at a festival requires a massive lie in. So that's what I'm probably doing…maybe I should get up and work, it being Monday…but I am SO not doing that! Hazah!
- You Should Do This Challenge -
What should you be doing? Instead of reading this? Instead of relaxing? Instead of having a nice weekend? Instead of enjoying your life? Possible answers: working; doing chores; visiting family; making things happen. "Should" really is a cruel word. It manages to make you feel guilty, lazy, unsuccessful, and bad about yourself in just 6 letters. It's quite an achievement actually how bad "should" can make you feel, without trying.
Of course, it isn't the word's fault, it is the way we wield a 'should' - we use it as a weapon against ourselves. Try it - think of 5 things you should be doing or have done. Feel good about any of them? No, thought not. In fairness, as a weapon to make yourself feel like shit, it is enormously effective. But I'm guessing that as you're reading this newsletter, feeling like shit isn't high on your list of priorities?
If it is…what are you thinking??? I've long thought that in place of "I should" should be "I should but I'm not gonna" because most of the time shoulds are made up of things you don't want to do. After all, if you wanted to do them, you would be! There would be no need to should on yourself. You may be getting the sense from this that I am not a big fan of the word 'should'!
I don't mind it in some uses, but when it is used by someone to beat themselves up over what they have not done (and probably will not do), it drives me into a furious frenzy. It is not motivating to go through a list of all the things you 'should' do; it is never good when 'I should be doing the ironing instead of healing' is the main thought in someone's mind; and it is tragic when someone uses a should to stop themselves enjoying their life.
Please, for me, just for this week, don't use "I should"…replace it with "I want to" and enjoy your life. Life's too short to make it 'shouldy'.
- Something To Play With -
Your challenge this week is to erase the phrase "I should" from your vocabulary. Every time you catch yourself saying it (and if you're like my clients, this could be a hundred times a day!!), stop and replace it with "I want…" For example "I should be working" "I want to go and enjoy the sunshine" or "I should be doing chores" "I want to go to the pictures". The world won't end…and you might even enjoy yourself! Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
OnTheBeach - Bitch Slapping vs Back Slapping
- A note from Donna -
Due to an exhilarating mix of work, procrastination, memory-loss and long lazy lunches, I am writing this on a Saturday night in the ad breaks between NCIS! It's fortunate that I have so much practice writing these newsletters quite quickly and that the ad breaks are so long! Not long enough for me to write an epic, so this week's a half cup. Enjoy!
- Bitch-Slapping Versus Back-Slapping -
So when was the last time you praised yourself? When did you last shout about your achievements? When did you last give yourself a big slap on the back for a job or a life well done? Seriously, when was the last time? And when was the last time you gave yourself grief for getting something wrong? When was the last time you put yourself down? When was the last time you were mean to yourself? Seriously, when was the last time? You don't even have to have done it out loud to someone else - inside your head counts too.
I'm guessing that you did the last one more recently than you did the first. Particularly in Britain, we are enormously good at self-deprecation. It's a skill! We hate to be seen as arrogant, so we go far too far the other way into the underworld of self-deprecation. Like most skills though, the self-deprecation skills can be transferred. What if you were to use those skills of observation, clarification, exaggeration and repetition to back-slap yourself rather than bitch-slap yourself?
What are you good at? What are you proud of? What did you do well? What are your best qualities? Instead of replaying the record which tells you what you're crap at, what you're ashamed of, what you did badly, your worst qualities, change the record and give yourself some credit for once. You're worth it!
- Something To Play With -
Big up yo'self this week - you don't have to become an arrogant arse, in fact, you don't have to tell anyone else at all. But I do want you to increase your self-belief by talking yourself up - just in your own head will work just fine. Stop hiding your light under the proverbial bushel, and start shining. Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
Due to an exhilarating mix of work, procrastination, memory-loss and long lazy lunches, I am writing this on a Saturday night in the ad breaks between NCIS! It's fortunate that I have so much practice writing these newsletters quite quickly and that the ad breaks are so long! Not long enough for me to write an epic, so this week's a half cup. Enjoy!
- Bitch-Slapping Versus Back-Slapping -
So when was the last time you praised yourself? When did you last shout about your achievements? When did you last give yourself a big slap on the back for a job or a life well done? Seriously, when was the last time? And when was the last time you gave yourself grief for getting something wrong? When was the last time you put yourself down? When was the last time you were mean to yourself? Seriously, when was the last time? You don't even have to have done it out loud to someone else - inside your head counts too.
I'm guessing that you did the last one more recently than you did the first. Particularly in Britain, we are enormously good at self-deprecation. It's a skill! We hate to be seen as arrogant, so we go far too far the other way into the underworld of self-deprecation. Like most skills though, the self-deprecation skills can be transferred. What if you were to use those skills of observation, clarification, exaggeration and repetition to back-slap yourself rather than bitch-slap yourself?
What are you good at? What are you proud of? What did you do well? What are your best qualities? Instead of replaying the record which tells you what you're crap at, what you're ashamed of, what you did badly, your worst qualities, change the record and give yourself some credit for once. You're worth it!
- Something To Play With -
Big up yo'self this week - you don't have to become an arrogant arse, in fact, you don't have to tell anyone else at all. But I do want you to increase your self-belief by talking yourself up - just in your own head will work just fine. Stop hiding your light under the proverbial bushel, and start shining. Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
Monday, August 04, 2008
Don't Let the B's Grind You Down
My parents have a saying "Don't let the b*stards grind you down" - and there are times when this is the most pertinent advice that can be given! Because this is exactly what happens if you're not vigilant - years and years of criticism, minor annoyances and unsupportiveness can just grind down your good humour and confidence. Don't let the b*stards grind you down.
How do you stop them??? Well, trying to stop anyone else doing anything is an exercise in futility! So here's what you can do: don't take it on. Don't give away your power to someone else. Don't allow other people to put you down. They can say the words, but if you don't listen, those words have no power alone. Words can be like acid, corroding and eating away at you…but not if you don't take it on.
Put it this way, if someone called you a blueberry, how much would you take that on board? How much would you allow that to hurt you? How much would you repeat it and keep hurting yourself with it? I am hoping you are saying 'not at all'!! But if they call you 'stupid' or they criticise you or are unsupportive, that's exactly what we do - we take it as gospel, we allow ourselves to be hurt by it, we repeat it to ourselves and others and pick the scab off the hurt so much that we are scarred by it.
Funnily enough, when we get a compliment, we don't give that the same amount of energy and care! Interesting how we're more prepared to think the worst of ourselves eh? Anyway, we're talking about not letting the b*stards grind you down. Here's what I do when faced with an insult, a criticism, an annoyance, "feedback": I look at it objectively (once I've calmed down if it riled me!) and try to see their point of view. If they have a point, I take it as welcome help to improve - then I let it go. If they don't, I just let it go.
Notice that I do get riled (oh my god, I'm HUMAN! Shock horror) - but I don't give them the power to ruin my whole life! It is just a point of view, just a moment in time, just something given (often thoughtlessly). One person telling you that you are wrong does not make you wrong 100% of the time! So stop taking on this stuff - know yourself better, have confidence in yourself, and instead of repeating the bad stuff, repeat this like a mantra: I know that you are amazing, intelligent, worthy, wonderful and a really good laugh. Don't let anyone tell you different!
- Something To Play With -
Notice what you do when someone annoys, criticises or insults you. Do you shrug it off and move on? Or do you chew over old soup until you make yourself sick on it?? For this week, experiment with only repeating to yourself the nice things people have said to you - keep chewing them over, you'll find they taste a lot better! Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
How do you stop them??? Well, trying to stop anyone else doing anything is an exercise in futility! So here's what you can do: don't take it on. Don't give away your power to someone else. Don't allow other people to put you down. They can say the words, but if you don't listen, those words have no power alone. Words can be like acid, corroding and eating away at you…but not if you don't take it on.
Put it this way, if someone called you a blueberry, how much would you take that on board? How much would you allow that to hurt you? How much would you repeat it and keep hurting yourself with it? I am hoping you are saying 'not at all'!! But if they call you 'stupid' or they criticise you or are unsupportive, that's exactly what we do - we take it as gospel, we allow ourselves to be hurt by it, we repeat it to ourselves and others and pick the scab off the hurt so much that we are scarred by it.
Funnily enough, when we get a compliment, we don't give that the same amount of energy and care! Interesting how we're more prepared to think the worst of ourselves eh? Anyway, we're talking about not letting the b*stards grind you down. Here's what I do when faced with an insult, a criticism, an annoyance, "feedback": I look at it objectively (once I've calmed down if it riled me!) and try to see their point of view. If they have a point, I take it as welcome help to improve - then I let it go. If they don't, I just let it go.
Notice that I do get riled (oh my god, I'm HUMAN! Shock horror) - but I don't give them the power to ruin my whole life! It is just a point of view, just a moment in time, just something given (often thoughtlessly). One person telling you that you are wrong does not make you wrong 100% of the time! So stop taking on this stuff - know yourself better, have confidence in yourself, and instead of repeating the bad stuff, repeat this like a mantra: I know that you are amazing, intelligent, worthy, wonderful and a really good laugh. Don't let anyone tell you different!
- Something To Play With -
Notice what you do when someone annoys, criticises or insults you. Do you shrug it off and move on? Or do you chew over old soup until you make yourself sick on it?? For this week, experiment with only repeating to yourself the nice things people have said to you - keep chewing them over, you'll find they taste a lot better! Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Museums of poverty
"One day our grandchildren will go to museums to see what poverty was like."
-- Muhammad Yunus
founder of the Grameen Bank & 2006 Nobel Peace Prize Laureate
In an e-mail from Rebecca Fine of www.scienceofgettingrich.com I received this quote. Isn't that the most wonderful idea? That our granchildren would not be able to see poverty in the world, that they'd be able to learn about it only by reading and seeing historical images! Do you believe in the possibility of a better world? Is that what you want? Is that what you are working towards?
Believe that little old you can't make a difference? Here's another quote for you: “If you think you're too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.” Betty Reese (American officer and pilot) There are billions of people on this planet - if even a small (millions) proportion of them are working toward this future, it can't help but happen! Are you pulling with us?
Peace, abudance and love to you
Donna.x
-- Muhammad Yunus
founder of the Grameen Bank & 2006 Nobel Peace Prize Laureate
In an e-mail from Rebecca Fine of www.scienceofgettingrich.com I received this quote. Isn't that the most wonderful idea? That our granchildren would not be able to see poverty in the world, that they'd be able to learn about it only by reading and seeing historical images! Do you believe in the possibility of a better world? Is that what you want? Is that what you are working towards?
Believe that little old you can't make a difference? Here's another quote for you: “If you think you're too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.” Betty Reese (American officer and pilot) There are billions of people on this planet - if even a small (millions) proportion of them are working toward this future, it can't help but happen! Are you pulling with us?
Peace, abudance and love to you
Donna.x
Monday, July 28, 2008
OnTheBeach - I Am Where I Am and Where I Am Needs No Excuses
- I am where I am and where I am needs no excuses -
My apologies for both stealing and changing the words of a well known cheesy choon. It's usually 'I am what I am' but today I want to talk about where you am. Where you are in your life specifically. I suspect that wherever you are, you'd quite like to be somewhere else - relationship wise, career wise, even geographically. That's natural, it's normal because part of what makes us human is our desire to grow, evolve and change.
Trouble is that because you'd quite like to be somewhere else, where you are now gets a bad rap. We often think that life will be better when we're richer, thinner, live somewhere else, have more stuff or more power…but often all that changes is that we get a bit richer, thinner, live somewhere else, have more stuff or more power. Somehow life doesn't get better. So when we are unhappy, we believe that where we are is to blame in some way.
Now don't get me wrong, I am not advocating staying put in a rubbish situation. But I do advocate being at peace with where you are, even enjoying where you are to whatever extent you can. Why? Well, first of all you are where you are in life…and you'll likely be there for the next few minutes at least - maybe even the next few days, weeks or months. So why not find a way to let it be ok to be where you are? You've got to be there anyway! Resisting reality is a sign of insanity - it drives you crazy! That resistance is a BIG part of why you feel so bad. Stop fighting the reality of where you are right now.
Secondly, where you are is part of your journey - if you are not totally loving where you are right now, it is helping you to get more clarity about where you'd like to be. This is a VERY GOOD THING! Most of us look at this contrast between what we want and what we have and get depressed, but actually if you didn't have 'this' how would you know you want 'that'? For example, every rubbish relationship you ever had brings you to a closer understanding of what you really want in a partner, and this experience helps you sort the wheat from the chaff.
Thirdly, contrary to popular belief, bemoaning, criticizing and denouncing where we are does not help us to move on. It actually undermines our confidence, keeps us stuck and makes the situation even worse! Years ago I was in a job I hated and I wanted to leave for 3 years…but when I came to terms with the fact that for now, I was there and I needed to start making the best of it, I decided to leave. Within a month! If you're feeling ok with where you are, you're in a great position to move with ease to the next phase of your life - and worse case scenario, you are where you are and that's ok!
- Something To Play With -
Think about a situation in your life that you'd like to change. Now find 5 things about that situation that are actually good. Now find 5 more. Keep doing this for a few weeks and notice how your resistance lowers and your confidence rises. Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
My apologies for both stealing and changing the words of a well known cheesy choon. It's usually 'I am what I am' but today I want to talk about where you am. Where you are in your life specifically. I suspect that wherever you are, you'd quite like to be somewhere else - relationship wise, career wise, even geographically. That's natural, it's normal because part of what makes us human is our desire to grow, evolve and change.
Trouble is that because you'd quite like to be somewhere else, where you are now gets a bad rap. We often think that life will be better when we're richer, thinner, live somewhere else, have more stuff or more power…but often all that changes is that we get a bit richer, thinner, live somewhere else, have more stuff or more power. Somehow life doesn't get better. So when we are unhappy, we believe that where we are is to blame in some way.
Now don't get me wrong, I am not advocating staying put in a rubbish situation. But I do advocate being at peace with where you are, even enjoying where you are to whatever extent you can. Why? Well, first of all you are where you are in life…and you'll likely be there for the next few minutes at least - maybe even the next few days, weeks or months. So why not find a way to let it be ok to be where you are? You've got to be there anyway! Resisting reality is a sign of insanity - it drives you crazy! That resistance is a BIG part of why you feel so bad. Stop fighting the reality of where you are right now.
Secondly, where you are is part of your journey - if you are not totally loving where you are right now, it is helping you to get more clarity about where you'd like to be. This is a VERY GOOD THING! Most of us look at this contrast between what we want and what we have and get depressed, but actually if you didn't have 'this' how would you know you want 'that'? For example, every rubbish relationship you ever had brings you to a closer understanding of what you really want in a partner, and this experience helps you sort the wheat from the chaff.
Thirdly, contrary to popular belief, bemoaning, criticizing and denouncing where we are does not help us to move on. It actually undermines our confidence, keeps us stuck and makes the situation even worse! Years ago I was in a job I hated and I wanted to leave for 3 years…but when I came to terms with the fact that for now, I was there and I needed to start making the best of it, I decided to leave. Within a month! If you're feeling ok with where you are, you're in a great position to move with ease to the next phase of your life - and worse case scenario, you are where you are and that's ok!
- Something To Play With -
Think about a situation in your life that you'd like to change. Now find 5 things about that situation that are actually good. Now find 5 more. Keep doing this for a few weeks and notice how your resistance lowers and your confidence rises. Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Covering Your Ass
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.
Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
Enough of that crap . . The donkey later came back, and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him.
The gash from the bite got infected and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.
MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:
When you do something wrong, and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.
Lol.
Donna.x
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.
Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
Enough of that crap . . The donkey later came back, and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him.
The gash from the bite got infected and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.
MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:
When you do something wrong, and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.
Lol.
Donna.x
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Do it Anyway
I watched this video this morning and it gave me the shivers, so I wanted to share it with you!
Love
Donna.x
Love
Donna.x
Monday, July 21, 2008
OnTheBeach - Don't it Make you Feel Good
What was the last piece of 'advice' you were given? Was it to get out more, to work harder, to go on a diet, to sort yourself out, to be more focused? We're all surrounded by well-meaning people who give us advice, sometimes asked for, sometimes unasked. A lot of advice is useful, relevant and helpful. Sadly, some advice is just painful! I have a plan for dealing with advice - if the thought of taking the advice makes me feel good, I take it.
If it doesn't - if it makes me feel 'bad', I don't take it - no matter how logical it seems, or how appropriate. You see, there is no right or wrong when it comes to advice - only the person hearing the advice can know whether it feels good for them. Believe it or not, you are the expert on you! You are the only person in the wide world that can possibly know what is best for you…even if (gasp!) it goes against ALL advice.
When I started my own business, I got lots of advice…most of it unwanted, a lot of it irrelevant and useless, and some downright bizarre. For years, I would listen to this advice, take it on board, sometimes even take action on it - even though it just made me feel bad. I felt bad because I didn't want to do what they said, I felt bad because I didn't do what they said, but mostly I felt bad because I was listening to advice I had no intention of following!
When someone gives you advice, they can only give it from their perspective of the world - they can't give advice from your perspective because they are not you. And you have the right to ignore their advice without feeling bad about it. Now I'm not dissing advice at all - occasionally people will come up with an absolute gem of advice that will change your life. I just want to make sure that you know how to tell if advice is right for you or not.
This all started because I was talking to a friend about "The Yes Man" - a book written by Danny Wallace where he accepts every invitation sent his way (with occasionally hilarious consequences). My friend said 'you should do that', and at the time I agreed - but then I noticed that I'd started to feel bad about it - on one occasion I could barely keep my eyes open so said no…and felt bad that I'd put sleep before socialising. Insanity. So, make sure the advice you're following makes you feel good…and if it doesn't, why are you following it?
- Something To Play With -
Over the next week, notice the advice you are given. Notice if the idea of following the advice makes you feel good or bad. If you feel 'bad', thank them for the advice, and ignore it. If you feel 'good', take it on with good cheer…and make sure you keep feeling good. Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
If it doesn't - if it makes me feel 'bad', I don't take it - no matter how logical it seems, or how appropriate. You see, there is no right or wrong when it comes to advice - only the person hearing the advice can know whether it feels good for them. Believe it or not, you are the expert on you! You are the only person in the wide world that can possibly know what is best for you…even if (gasp!) it goes against ALL advice.
When I started my own business, I got lots of advice…most of it unwanted, a lot of it irrelevant and useless, and some downright bizarre. For years, I would listen to this advice, take it on board, sometimes even take action on it - even though it just made me feel bad. I felt bad because I didn't want to do what they said, I felt bad because I didn't do what they said, but mostly I felt bad because I was listening to advice I had no intention of following!
When someone gives you advice, they can only give it from their perspective of the world - they can't give advice from your perspective because they are not you. And you have the right to ignore their advice without feeling bad about it. Now I'm not dissing advice at all - occasionally people will come up with an absolute gem of advice that will change your life. I just want to make sure that you know how to tell if advice is right for you or not.
This all started because I was talking to a friend about "The Yes Man" - a book written by Danny Wallace where he accepts every invitation sent his way (with occasionally hilarious consequences). My friend said 'you should do that', and at the time I agreed - but then I noticed that I'd started to feel bad about it - on one occasion I could barely keep my eyes open so said no…and felt bad that I'd put sleep before socialising. Insanity. So, make sure the advice you're following makes you feel good…and if it doesn't, why are you following it?
- Something To Play With -
Over the next week, notice the advice you are given. Notice if the idea of following the advice makes you feel good or bad. If you feel 'bad', thank them for the advice, and ignore it. If you feel 'good', take it on with good cheer…and make sure you keep feeling good. Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
The House of 1000 Mirrors
Long ago in a small, far away village, there was a place known as the House of 1000 Mirrors. A small, happy little dog learned of this place and decided to visit. When he arrived, he bounced happily up the stairs to the doorway of the house. He looked through the doorway with his ears lifted high and his tail wagging as fast as it could. To his great surprise, he found himself staring at 1000 other happy little dogs with their tails wagging just as fast as his. He smiled a great smile, and was answered with 1000 great smiles just as warm and friendly. As he left the house, he thought to himself, "This is a wonderful place. I will come back and visit it often."
In this same village, another little dog, who was not quite as happy as the first one, decided to visit the house. He slowly climbed the stairs and hung his head low as he looked into the door. When he saw the 1000 unfriendly looking dogs staring back at him, he growled at them and was horrified to see 1000 little dogs growling back at him. As he left, he thought to himself, "That is a horrible place, and I will never go back there again."
All the faces in the world are mirrors. What kind of reflections do you see in the faces of the people you meet?
Love
Donna.x
In this same village, another little dog, who was not quite as happy as the first one, decided to visit the house. He slowly climbed the stairs and hung his head low as he looked into the door. When he saw the 1000 unfriendly looking dogs staring back at him, he growled at them and was horrified to see 1000 little dogs growling back at him. As he left, he thought to himself, "That is a horrible place, and I will never go back there again."
All the faces in the world are mirrors. What kind of reflections do you see in the faces of the people you meet?
Love
Donna.x
Monday, July 14, 2008
OnTheBeach - Let's see What you're doing Wrong
- A note from Donna -
Apparently there might be a recession coming in the UK in 3 months time. And there might not. I get really irate with the media, because they sensationalise EVERYTHING, and their stories seem to me designed to frighten people and bring about the very conditions they are scare-mongering about. Guesses about the future of the economy aren't news, they're guesses about the future…funny that they're not getting Mystic Meg to predict the FTSE eh? Bah humbug. As I recall, a recession has been promised every year since the last one, so if you'll forgive me, I'm not going to give an arse just yet.
- Let's see What you're doing Wrong -
So, what did you do wrong today? What did you do wrong this week? Where are you busy cocking up life left, right and centre? Well, if I were to answer these questions, I would say 1. Not writing this at 2 this afternoon cos it's 8 o'clock at night and I just started; 2. I over-reacted about something with my mom, and 3. Well, where do I start????
Ok, no I'm not serious about this. I'm just demonstrating something. If you start to look for what you're doing wrong, you'll find it. Even I, who am utterly magnificent and a wonderful person, can find things I am doing wrong. Easily. And boy, does it make me feel GREAT?! No. No, it doesn't. It feels horrible. So why would we focus so much on what we're doing wrong?
First of all, I think it's a largely unconscious thing - we don't wake up in the morning and say 'hey, I'm going to find all the things I'm doing wrong today and make myself feel like crap'. Well, at least I hope you don't! But unconsciously we are our own worst critic - take all the people who've ever pointed out the error of your ways, multiply them by 10 and you have your inner critic. An expert in telling you why you are useless.
Every part of every body has a positive intention - the intention of your inner critic is usually to motivate you to do better. After all, that's why people have criticised us all our lives - parents, teachers, partners…so that we can do better. Unfortunately it is not particularly motivating to be told what you are doing wrong all the time! So it's a great intention, just a lousy method of achieving the desired aim!
Here's the thing though - most of us are brilliant at finding our weakest points, superb at pointing out our shortcomings, fabulous at making ourselves feel bad. Imagine if we focused on finding our strengths; pointing out our brilliance; and making ourselves feel good? The tools are the same, it's just a slightly different perspective! This new perspective might feel like new shoes for a while - a little odd and not quite comfortable - but soon, you will wake up every morning to the thought "hey, I'm going to find all the things I'm doing right today and make myself feel WONDERFUL!"
- Something To Play With -
Go on, I know you are dying to exercise that inner critic. Come up with 10 things you are doing wrong at the moment. See how easy that was?? Now come up with 20 things you are doing RIGHT (reading this newsletter counts as it is a very wise and caring thing to do for yourself). Every time you notice your inner critic at work, ask him/her to use that razor sharp observation to be your inner cheerleader - pom-poms and all. Ready "Gooooooooooo ME!" Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
Apparently there might be a recession coming in the UK in 3 months time. And there might not. I get really irate with the media, because they sensationalise EVERYTHING, and their stories seem to me designed to frighten people and bring about the very conditions they are scare-mongering about. Guesses about the future of the economy aren't news, they're guesses about the future…funny that they're not getting Mystic Meg to predict the FTSE eh? Bah humbug. As I recall, a recession has been promised every year since the last one, so if you'll forgive me, I'm not going to give an arse just yet.
- Let's see What you're doing Wrong -
So, what did you do wrong today? What did you do wrong this week? Where are you busy cocking up life left, right and centre? Well, if I were to answer these questions, I would say 1. Not writing this at 2 this afternoon cos it's 8 o'clock at night and I just started; 2. I over-reacted about something with my mom, and 3. Well, where do I start????
Ok, no I'm not serious about this. I'm just demonstrating something. If you start to look for what you're doing wrong, you'll find it. Even I, who am utterly magnificent and a wonderful person, can find things I am doing wrong. Easily. And boy, does it make me feel GREAT?! No. No, it doesn't. It feels horrible. So why would we focus so much on what we're doing wrong?
First of all, I think it's a largely unconscious thing - we don't wake up in the morning and say 'hey, I'm going to find all the things I'm doing wrong today and make myself feel like crap'. Well, at least I hope you don't! But unconsciously we are our own worst critic - take all the people who've ever pointed out the error of your ways, multiply them by 10 and you have your inner critic. An expert in telling you why you are useless.
Every part of every body has a positive intention - the intention of your inner critic is usually to motivate you to do better. After all, that's why people have criticised us all our lives - parents, teachers, partners…so that we can do better. Unfortunately it is not particularly motivating to be told what you are doing wrong all the time! So it's a great intention, just a lousy method of achieving the desired aim!
Here's the thing though - most of us are brilliant at finding our weakest points, superb at pointing out our shortcomings, fabulous at making ourselves feel bad. Imagine if we focused on finding our strengths; pointing out our brilliance; and making ourselves feel good? The tools are the same, it's just a slightly different perspective! This new perspective might feel like new shoes for a while - a little odd and not quite comfortable - but soon, you will wake up every morning to the thought "hey, I'm going to find all the things I'm doing right today and make myself feel WONDERFUL!"
- Something To Play With -
Go on, I know you are dying to exercise that inner critic. Come up with 10 things you are doing wrong at the moment. See how easy that was?? Now come up with 20 things you are doing RIGHT (reading this newsletter counts as it is a very wise and caring thing to do for yourself). Every time you notice your inner critic at work, ask him/her to use that razor sharp observation to be your inner cheerleader - pom-poms and all. Ready "Gooooooooooo ME!" Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
Friday, July 11, 2008
OnTheBeach - All is Interconnected
- A note from Donna -
Wondering what I could write in this bit this week, I decided that despite the fact that we're having lots of weather here in the UK, I really couldn't keep embracing the British obsession with the weather and keep talking about it. So I pootled through a few back issues of this fine newsletter to see what else I've been talking about. As it turns out, 90% of the time I talked about the weather! No wonder I felt it was time to move on to another subject. And look, this week I'm talking about me talking about the weather. Sheesh I need some inspiration!! So, if you have any questions you'd like me to answer, send them in...save this section of the newsletter from my obsession with sunshine on a rainy day! Happy Monday one and all. ;-)
- All is Inter-Connected -
As some of you may know, as well as being a coach, writer, speaker and all round amazing person ;-), I also do Onsite Massage. This is a lovely massage technique that's in a special chair and takes just 15 minutes which is ideal for workplaces. No, this isn't a salesletter for this service! (but if you're interested, e-mail me!) Often, people will ask if I can 'just' concentrate on their shoulders or back and leave out the arms and head.
But the thing is, they're all connected. My usual answer is to say I'll do the normal massage routine this time, then next time if they'd rather I concentrate on one area, we'll talk about it again. This never happens. Because what they realise is that the shoulders are MORE relaxed when the neck, head, arms and back are also relaxed. (is anyone else singing 'the neck bone connected to the head bone'?)
And, by bizarre coincidence, this applies to all life. All is inter-connected. If your body is relaxed, your mind is more likely to be relaxed, and vice versa. Does anyone else get woken up in the middle of the night by something, finding yourself bolt upright in bed, body in a state of hyper-awakeness? Your mind quickly catches up…and then your mind is wide awake while your body goes back into relaxation mode…and then the mind catches up again and goes to sleep. Hopefully.
It doesn't always work of course, but it's a good rule of thumb to remember. All is inter-connected. So if you're having a shit time at work, this will inevitably bleed into your relationships and home life. If you are deliriously happy at home, this will feed into your work day. I love it when clients first begin to work with me, they work on one area of their life and suddenly other areas start to improve too - even though they haven't necessarily taken action on them. All is inter-connected.
Within your body, within your life, within your environment even - if everyone round you is miserable, chances are that will rub off on you unless you take steps to protect yourself. Likewise, if you surround yourself with positive, optimistic people, some of their cheeriness will rub off on you…again, unless you take steps to protect yourself! The good news is that now you are aware of this truth that all is interconnected, you can consciously create and nurture connections that improve the quality of your life…and if you work on ANY area of your life, the others will get better too!
- Something To Play With -
So which connections are bringing you down, and which are helping you up? How can you use the truth that all is inter-connected to make your life even more amazing? Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
Wondering what I could write in this bit this week, I decided that despite the fact that we're having lots of weather here in the UK, I really couldn't keep embracing the British obsession with the weather and keep talking about it. So I pootled through a few back issues of this fine newsletter to see what else I've been talking about. As it turns out, 90% of the time I talked about the weather! No wonder I felt it was time to move on to another subject. And look, this week I'm talking about me talking about the weather. Sheesh I need some inspiration!! So, if you have any questions you'd like me to answer, send them in...save this section of the newsletter from my obsession with sunshine on a rainy day! Happy Monday one and all. ;-)
- All is Inter-Connected -
As some of you may know, as well as being a coach, writer, speaker and all round amazing person ;-), I also do Onsite Massage. This is a lovely massage technique that's in a special chair and takes just 15 minutes which is ideal for workplaces. No, this isn't a salesletter for this service! (but if you're interested, e-mail me!) Often, people will ask if I can 'just' concentrate on their shoulders or back and leave out the arms and head.
But the thing is, they're all connected. My usual answer is to say I'll do the normal massage routine this time, then next time if they'd rather I concentrate on one area, we'll talk about it again. This never happens. Because what they realise is that the shoulders are MORE relaxed when the neck, head, arms and back are also relaxed. (is anyone else singing 'the neck bone connected to the head bone'?)
And, by bizarre coincidence, this applies to all life. All is inter-connected. If your body is relaxed, your mind is more likely to be relaxed, and vice versa. Does anyone else get woken up in the middle of the night by something, finding yourself bolt upright in bed, body in a state of hyper-awakeness? Your mind quickly catches up…and then your mind is wide awake while your body goes back into relaxation mode…and then the mind catches up again and goes to sleep. Hopefully.
It doesn't always work of course, but it's a good rule of thumb to remember. All is inter-connected. So if you're having a shit time at work, this will inevitably bleed into your relationships and home life. If you are deliriously happy at home, this will feed into your work day. I love it when clients first begin to work with me, they work on one area of their life and suddenly other areas start to improve too - even though they haven't necessarily taken action on them. All is inter-connected.
Within your body, within your life, within your environment even - if everyone round you is miserable, chances are that will rub off on you unless you take steps to protect yourself. Likewise, if you surround yourself with positive, optimistic people, some of their cheeriness will rub off on you…again, unless you take steps to protect yourself! The good news is that now you are aware of this truth that all is interconnected, you can consciously create and nurture connections that improve the quality of your life…and if you work on ANY area of your life, the others will get better too!
- Something To Play With -
So which connections are bringing you down, and which are helping you up? How can you use the truth that all is inter-connected to make your life even more amazing? Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Now That's what I call Bloody-Minded!
So, you're playing tennis, you're 2 sets down and in the 3rd set your opponent is serving for the match. What do you do?
Well, if you follow tennis in Britain, you'll probably know that Andy Murray went on to WIN the match! Stunning. Un-believable. I was sat in watching the tv last night with a look of utter incredulity on my face. I am still shocked. From being totally out of the game, he went on to win it! Many people (me included) would have been thinking about supper at that point and given up. Mind you, I'm rubbish at tennis, so there would have been NO chance of a comeback for me!
Anyway, it got me thinking...when you are going for your goals and dreams in life, do you keep going til the last point, or do you give up half way? Now I'm not necessarily recommending sheer bloody-mindedness necessarily - it's hard work for a start! But what if you just kept playing for the things you wanted? All too often, people give up when things are just starting to happen! Sometimes you have to change the playing field, I know that, but you don't have to give up on your dreams.
In fact, I'd go as far as to say, you mustn't give up! Because you can do it...with a healthy dollup of self-belief, a bit of luck and tenacity - you will do it. And observers will be standing round opened mouthed, saying 'unbelievable', 'stunning' and 'bloody hell, good for you!'
Love
Donna.x
Well, if you follow tennis in Britain, you'll probably know that Andy Murray went on to WIN the match! Stunning. Un-believable. I was sat in watching the tv last night with a look of utter incredulity on my face. I am still shocked. From being totally out of the game, he went on to win it! Many people (me included) would have been thinking about supper at that point and given up. Mind you, I'm rubbish at tennis, so there would have been NO chance of a comeback for me!
Anyway, it got me thinking...when you are going for your goals and dreams in life, do you keep going til the last point, or do you give up half way? Now I'm not necessarily recommending sheer bloody-mindedness necessarily - it's hard work for a start! But what if you just kept playing for the things you wanted? All too often, people give up when things are just starting to happen! Sometimes you have to change the playing field, I know that, but you don't have to give up on your dreams.
In fact, I'd go as far as to say, you mustn't give up! Because you can do it...with a healthy dollup of self-belief, a bit of luck and tenacity - you will do it. And observers will be standing round opened mouthed, saying 'unbelievable', 'stunning' and 'bloody hell, good for you!'
Love
Donna.x
Monday, June 30, 2008
OnTheBeach - The Strategic Approach
What is your life strategy? Do you have every last move planned out – including several escape routes and alternatives in case of change? Do you have no strategy whatsoever and just roll with the punches? Are you looking in the opposite direction so you don’t even see the punches coming? I got a questionnaire from http://www.luckspreader.com/ today, and filling it in made me realise something…I do have a life strategy – and most people would not consider it a strategy. Including me…until I thought about it!
When I asked you about your life strategy, what did you think of? Maybe it was a sporting analogy, or some kind of life map. Maybe the very word ‘strategy’ put you to sleep after all the ‘strategic meetings’ you’ve been forced to sit though at work. Maybe there was a big blank space where thoughts should be! Did you think ‘follow my intuition and reach for joy’? If so, e-mail me immediately and let me know because that’s what I do!
That’s my ‘strategy’ for life. And even if I say so myself, it’s a pretty bloody good strategy! With this particular strategy, it is impossible to lose. The very worst thing that can happen is that I enjoy myself (deary-me what a dreadful possibility!). A strategy is defined as a plan, method, or series of maneuvers or stratagems for obtaining a specific goal or result. What is the specific goal or result that you want for your life?
Most people want to have a ‘good life’ – which I define as a joyful life rather than a life full of stuff. I wonder if you have ever taken the time to state specifically what the goal from your life is? Maybe now’s a good time to do so…and to work out your strategy? Say for example your goal from life is to drive yourself into the ground, then your strategy could be to work 15 hours a day. Or your goal from life might be to be miserable, and your strategy is do stuff you hate that makes you unhappy.
I’m not sure entirely why you would want to do that…but so many people do that there must be a really good reason that I am missing altogether! Perhaps it is just that we do not take the time to think what our goal for life is, and what the strategy is to achieve it. Feel free to copy mine – Goal: To have a joyful life. Strategy: Follow my guidance and enjoy life. It’s working well for me and the clients I have shared it with!
Something to play with
If someone else were to look at your life right now, what might they say the strategy and goal are? Would they say it was to complain incessantly and end up bitter and twisted? To be very driven and to be financially successful? To embrace mayhem and have a barmy life? What is your real goal for your life? What do you want your life to be? And what is your strategy to get there?
When I asked you about your life strategy, what did you think of? Maybe it was a sporting analogy, or some kind of life map. Maybe the very word ‘strategy’ put you to sleep after all the ‘strategic meetings’ you’ve been forced to sit though at work. Maybe there was a big blank space where thoughts should be! Did you think ‘follow my intuition and reach for joy’? If so, e-mail me immediately and let me know because that’s what I do!
That’s my ‘strategy’ for life. And even if I say so myself, it’s a pretty bloody good strategy! With this particular strategy, it is impossible to lose. The very worst thing that can happen is that I enjoy myself (deary-me what a dreadful possibility!). A strategy is defined as a plan, method, or series of maneuvers or stratagems for obtaining a specific goal or result. What is the specific goal or result that you want for your life?
Most people want to have a ‘good life’ – which I define as a joyful life rather than a life full of stuff. I wonder if you have ever taken the time to state specifically what the goal from your life is? Maybe now’s a good time to do so…and to work out your strategy? Say for example your goal from life is to drive yourself into the ground, then your strategy could be to work 15 hours a day. Or your goal from life might be to be miserable, and your strategy is do stuff you hate that makes you unhappy.
I’m not sure entirely why you would want to do that…but so many people do that there must be a really good reason that I am missing altogether! Perhaps it is just that we do not take the time to think what our goal for life is, and what the strategy is to achieve it. Feel free to copy mine – Goal: To have a joyful life. Strategy: Follow my guidance and enjoy life. It’s working well for me and the clients I have shared it with!
Something to play with
If someone else were to look at your life right now, what might they say the strategy and goal are? Would they say it was to complain incessantly and end up bitter and twisted? To be very driven and to be financially successful? To embrace mayhem and have a barmy life? What is your real goal for your life? What do you want your life to be? And what is your strategy to get there?
Friday, June 27, 2008
Was that worth giving up your peace for?
I was reading a blog entry at http://blog.yourangelsmessage.com/2008/06/26/june-26-2008.aspx today and this question caught my eye “Was that worth giving up your peace for?” What has made you give up your peace today? What has made you angry, irritable, stressed, freaked out? Was it worth giving up your peace?
For me, it was a lorry drifting into my lane on the dual carriageway, prompting a furious beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep and a lot of swear words. Was it worth giving up my peace for? No, absolutely not! A little ‘hello I’m here’ cheery beep would have done the trick, and wouldn’t have had the same negative impact on my blood pressure!
So, next time I get in the car, I have to remember that no matter what the other drivers do, I’m not giving up my peace for them!
In peace and love
Donna.x
Thursday, June 26, 2008
From the Mouths of Babes
Today I received this e-mail about what Love means to a 4-8 year old . . .
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails any more.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared
anymore." Cindy - age 8
"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep
at night." Clare - age 6
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."
Karen - age 7
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8
And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbour was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"
Tonight, raise your glass in a toast to love...in all its' forms!
Love
Donna.x
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails any more.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared
anymore." Cindy - age 8
"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep
at night." Clare - age 6
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."
Karen - age 7
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8
And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbour was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"
Tonight, raise your glass in a toast to love...in all its' forms!
Love
Donna.x
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
The Serenity Reminder
This is BY FAR the best picture I have EVER taken! Isn't it beautiful? I have this as my screen saver, I've been sharing it with everyone I know, and I am getting notecards and posters made from it! Yes, I love it!
Not just because it's a beautiful image, but because it reminds me of that holiday mellowness that I am bringing back into my "real" life. One look at this picture and I am instantly transported back to a magical moment - relaxed, happy, (well fed, but that is incidental!), tranquil, serene. The sad truth is that most of our lives are not as relaxed, happy, tranquil and serene as we would like, so we need these reminders.
So, what reminders do you have surrounding you? To-do lists, clutter, mayhem? Or beautiful tranquil scenes that remind you of great times?
Maybe it's time to go through your photo album?
Love
Donna.x
Monday, June 23, 2008
OnTheBeach - The Back from Holiday Blues
Thank you guys, for missing me!! I have had a few e-mails asking where the heck I've been and why have you got nothing to read on a Monday morning - I really appreciate that you noticed and cared that I'd gone. And for those of you who didn't notice or care…I've been on holiday! I've been in Tenerife for a wedding - beautiful day, beautiful bride and I had big hair…what more can one ask for? Well, summer in England for a start. But there are some things you cannot guarantee…summer in England is one of them!
- The Back from Holiday Blues -
Oh, boy, did I NOT want to come back from my holidays! I was enormously sulky about the whole business. Not only did I not want to come back, but the pilot compounded my lack of enthusiasm by announcing over Exeter that Birmingham was "shrouded in cloud, with 25 miles per hour cross winds, raining and 13 degrees". Oh yip, fly faster. I am not a good flyer either so I spent the entire (interminable) landing clutching the arm rests and my rosary beads, wishing they'd let me jump out (much less scary) or land the plane somewhere where there were not 25 mph cross winds!
Now I've had a few days to recover from the ordeal and get used to wearing warm clothes again, I can't really say I'm delighted to be back…but I am letting go of the holiday blues! In days gone by, it would be August before I was back to 'normal' but these days I kind of enjoy a couple of days of misery, then I get on with making things better. The interesting thing is that I love what I do, and still I have the back from holiday blues! Nowadays though, I love it when this type of thing happens because it shows me where things need to change.
What I loved about my holiday (apart from glorious weather, lots of nice food, the sea and watching beautiful sunsets from my balcony) was that I had space. Space to think, space to just wander around for a few hours, space to sit in the sun reading a book for hours, space to go swimming in the Atlantic or the rooftop pool, space to just be. Despite the fact that life is 100 times better than it was 5 years ago, it is still quite packed with things to 'do'. I am one of these people who is never bored - there's always something to read, write, watch, somewhere to go, people to get in touch with.
On holiday all that got left behind…and even though I was out there for a wedding and there were always people around and parties to be attended, there was spare time for purposeless pottering. Oh, I do this at home too, but I get irritated that I have wasted 10 hours puttering about! So over the coming weeks, I am going to be simplifying, decluttering, creating space in many ways and bringing more of that 'holiday' feeling to my life. And (when it's not raining) I shall be finding a place where I can watch the sun set. A key ingredient of a happy life!
So, I guess that you are preparing for holiday season too? At least in this hemisphere. Do you get the holiday blues? Does it take you months to get over them? Do you use the experience to change something about your life to make it better and more 'OnTheBeach'? Or do you use it as a stick with which to beat yourself about how much life sucks? You don't have to sell your house and move to Spain to make changes that will give you that 'holiday' feeling. Small steps, small changes, and the back from holiday blues will help you make your life AMAZING!
- Something To Play With -
You don't need to wait til you come back from a holiday to start making changes - think now about what gives you the post-holiday blues. If there's a list of 200 things, cool - you have lots of ways you could change your life!! Pick one thing, just one, that would be quite easy to change…and bring some of that holiday magic to your normal life! Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
- The Back from Holiday Blues -
Oh, boy, did I NOT want to come back from my holidays! I was enormously sulky about the whole business. Not only did I not want to come back, but the pilot compounded my lack of enthusiasm by announcing over Exeter that Birmingham was "shrouded in cloud, with 25 miles per hour cross winds, raining and 13 degrees". Oh yip, fly faster. I am not a good flyer either so I spent the entire (interminable) landing clutching the arm rests and my rosary beads, wishing they'd let me jump out (much less scary) or land the plane somewhere where there were not 25 mph cross winds!
Now I've had a few days to recover from the ordeal and get used to wearing warm clothes again, I can't really say I'm delighted to be back…but I am letting go of the holiday blues! In days gone by, it would be August before I was back to 'normal' but these days I kind of enjoy a couple of days of misery, then I get on with making things better. The interesting thing is that I love what I do, and still I have the back from holiday blues! Nowadays though, I love it when this type of thing happens because it shows me where things need to change.
What I loved about my holiday (apart from glorious weather, lots of nice food, the sea and watching beautiful sunsets from my balcony) was that I had space. Space to think, space to just wander around for a few hours, space to sit in the sun reading a book for hours, space to go swimming in the Atlantic or the rooftop pool, space to just be. Despite the fact that life is 100 times better than it was 5 years ago, it is still quite packed with things to 'do'. I am one of these people who is never bored - there's always something to read, write, watch, somewhere to go, people to get in touch with.
On holiday all that got left behind…and even though I was out there for a wedding and there were always people around and parties to be attended, there was spare time for purposeless pottering. Oh, I do this at home too, but I get irritated that I have wasted 10 hours puttering about! So over the coming weeks, I am going to be simplifying, decluttering, creating space in many ways and bringing more of that 'holiday' feeling to my life. And (when it's not raining) I shall be finding a place where I can watch the sun set. A key ingredient of a happy life!
So, I guess that you are preparing for holiday season too? At least in this hemisphere. Do you get the holiday blues? Does it take you months to get over them? Do you use the experience to change something about your life to make it better and more 'OnTheBeach'? Or do you use it as a stick with which to beat yourself about how much life sucks? You don't have to sell your house and move to Spain to make changes that will give you that 'holiday' feeling. Small steps, small changes, and the back from holiday blues will help you make your life AMAZING!
- Something To Play With -
You don't need to wait til you come back from a holiday to start making changes - think now about what gives you the post-holiday blues. If there's a list of 200 things, cool - you have lots of ways you could change your life!! Pick one thing, just one, that would be quite easy to change…and bring some of that holiday magic to your normal life! Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
I DID IT!
Last night at Toastmasters I did my 10th advanced level speech and I got my 'Advanced Communicator - Bronze' Award. Yay me! Woo hoooooo!!
The purpose of this post is threefold:
1 - to big up myself
2 - to encourage you to big up yourself - seriously, it's not arrogant to talk yourself up, it is only right to allow yourself to be proud of you and tell the world. Yay me!!! Ahem.
And 3 - if you would like to gain more confidence and learn to speak confidently in front of a roomful of people - check out toastmasters. Right now. I joined a little over 3 years ago and I have got so much more than I ever expected from my membership.
And just in case you didn't realise, I am SO proud of myself!!
Love
Donna.x
The purpose of this post is threefold:
1 - to big up myself
2 - to encourage you to big up yourself - seriously, it's not arrogant to talk yourself up, it is only right to allow yourself to be proud of you and tell the world. Yay me!!! Ahem.
And 3 - if you would like to gain more confidence and learn to speak confidently in front of a roomful of people - check out toastmasters. Right now. I joined a little over 3 years ago and I have got so much more than I ever expected from my membership.
And just in case you didn't realise, I am SO proud of myself!!
Love
Donna.x
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Trust your creativity
As you may know, I write a weekly newsletter - yesterday's "Bit by bit by bit" I was delighted with when I first finished it. But on the last read through (when I had no time to re-write) I wasn't as happy with it. Trusting my original creativity, I sent it anyway...and I have received more e-mails about this article than any other this year!
This is not a new phenomenon - often when I am unsure of a newsletter, it strikes a chord with certain readers. 3 of them this week said it felt like the universe was asking the very question they asked. So today, if you're asking a question, trust that someone somewhere is working on the answer and be prepared to hear it. And if you're the one sending the message, trust that your timing and subject are exactly right for someone out there.
Love
Donna.x
This is not a new phenomenon - often when I am unsure of a newsletter, it strikes a chord with certain readers. 3 of them this week said it felt like the universe was asking the very question they asked. So today, if you're asking a question, trust that someone somewhere is working on the answer and be prepared to hear it. And if you're the one sending the message, trust that your timing and subject are exactly right for someone out there.
Love
Donna.x
Monday, June 02, 2008
OnTheBeach: Bit by Bit by Bit by Bit by Bit
I had the excellent fortune to get a ticket for the Abraham Hicks workshop in London this week, and a fabulous time was had by all. Esther Hicks is an inspirational speaker who dialogs with a group of spiritual teachers who call themselves Abraham. It might seem a bit 'woo-woo' to some, but it's fascinating stuff - and much of their teachings can be easily translated to the 'real' world. For example, bit by bit by bit by bit.
You see, we all want to go from skint to millionaires in 2 steps, from single to married in a heartbeat, from miserable to joyful in a day and a half (less if we can manage it!). So we go through a circuit of determination, followed by disillusionment when the thing we want doesn't appear instantly, followed by despair, and again and again. Ok, maybe I exaggerate slightly (you'll be astonished to note!).
I have seen it many times - people get really angry with themselves for not being fitter, faster, stronger, better. An entirely self-defeating practice if ever I heard one. While we are on the way to achieving what we want to achieve, we rarely stop to notice that we are getting there, that progress (however miniscule) is being made, that each step we take brings us closer to where we want to be in life.
Take a joyful life for example. I went from being a total misery-guts who contemplated suicide in the 90's (only briefly, and I wasn't very serious about it) to being 'DonnaOnTheBeach' - the woman who, a friend told me yesterday, is 'all about joy'. Did I make this leap from despair to joy in 10 minutes? Did I stop mid-sentence and change my attitude? Did I have a personality transplant? No, to all 3 questions! (although some of my friends find the change incredible!)
So how did I do it? Bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit…you get the message right?! Step by step. And sometimes I felt like nothing was happening at all, like I wasn't moving, like nothing was changing. But it was - bit by bit. They say a watched pot never boils, and it's the same with personal changes! Because you are with you all the time, you can't see the changes that are happening…but they are. Bit by bit.
- Something To Play With -
What would you really like your life to be like? What would you love to have in your life? Stop for a moment and notice how far you have already come. Notice that changes are happening - bit by bit. And that they will continue to happen, bit by bit…just let go of your impatience (a subject for another day!). Want to share how this article affects you? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
You see, we all want to go from skint to millionaires in 2 steps, from single to married in a heartbeat, from miserable to joyful in a day and a half (less if we can manage it!). So we go through a circuit of determination, followed by disillusionment when the thing we want doesn't appear instantly, followed by despair, and again and again. Ok, maybe I exaggerate slightly (you'll be astonished to note!).
I have seen it many times - people get really angry with themselves for not being fitter, faster, stronger, better. An entirely self-defeating practice if ever I heard one. While we are on the way to achieving what we want to achieve, we rarely stop to notice that we are getting there, that progress (however miniscule) is being made, that each step we take brings us closer to where we want to be in life.
Take a joyful life for example. I went from being a total misery-guts who contemplated suicide in the 90's (only briefly, and I wasn't very serious about it) to being 'DonnaOnTheBeach' - the woman who, a friend told me yesterday, is 'all about joy'. Did I make this leap from despair to joy in 10 minutes? Did I stop mid-sentence and change my attitude? Did I have a personality transplant? No, to all 3 questions! (although some of my friends find the change incredible!)
So how did I do it? Bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit…you get the message right?! Step by step. And sometimes I felt like nothing was happening at all, like I wasn't moving, like nothing was changing. But it was - bit by bit. They say a watched pot never boils, and it's the same with personal changes! Because you are with you all the time, you can't see the changes that are happening…but they are. Bit by bit.
- Something To Play With -
What would you really like your life to be like? What would you love to have in your life? Stop for a moment and notice how far you have already come. Notice that changes are happening - bit by bit. And that they will continue to happen, bit by bit…just let go of your impatience (a subject for another day!). Want to share how this article affects you? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
In Case you need some ideas about being a kid...
Be A Kid Again
1. Do a cartwheel.
2. Sing into your hairbrush.
3. Walk barefoot in wet grass.
4. Play a song you like really loud, over and over.
5. Dot all your “i”’s with smiley faces.
6. Read the funnies. Throw the rest of the paper away.
7. Dunk your cookies.
8. Play a game where you make up the rules as you go along.
9. Step carefully over sidewalk cracks.
10. Change into some play clothes.
11. Try to get someone to trade you a better sandwich.
12. Eat ice cream for breakfast.
13. Kiss a frog, just in case.
14. Blow the wrapper off a straw.
15. Have someone read you a story.
16. Find some pretty stones and save them.
17. Wear your favorite shirt with you favorite trousers even if they don’t match.
18. Take a running jump over a big puddle.
19. Get someone to buy you something you really don’t need.
20. Hide your vegetables under your napkin.
21. Stay up past your bedtime.
22. Eat dessert first.
23. Fuss a little, then take a nap.
24. Wear red gym shoes.
25. Put way too much sugar on your cereal.
26. Make cool screeching noises every time you turn a corner.
27. Giggle a lot for no reason.
28. Give yourself a gold star for everything you do today.
29. Have Eggs and Soldiers for breakfast
30. Wave insanely at passing drivers from the car window
Love
Donna.x
PS please tell me if you do some of these things!!!
1. Do a cartwheel.
2. Sing into your hairbrush.
3. Walk barefoot in wet grass.
4. Play a song you like really loud, over and over.
5. Dot all your “i”’s with smiley faces.
6. Read the funnies. Throw the rest of the paper away.
7. Dunk your cookies.
8. Play a game where you make up the rules as you go along.
9. Step carefully over sidewalk cracks.
10. Change into some play clothes.
11. Try to get someone to trade you a better sandwich.
12. Eat ice cream for breakfast.
13. Kiss a frog, just in case.
14. Blow the wrapper off a straw.
15. Have someone read you a story.
16. Find some pretty stones and save them.
17. Wear your favorite shirt with you favorite trousers even if they don’t match.
18. Take a running jump over a big puddle.
19. Get someone to buy you something you really don’t need.
20. Hide your vegetables under your napkin.
21. Stay up past your bedtime.
22. Eat dessert first.
23. Fuss a little, then take a nap.
24. Wear red gym shoes.
25. Put way too much sugar on your cereal.
26. Make cool screeching noises every time you turn a corner.
27. Giggle a lot for no reason.
28. Give yourself a gold star for everything you do today.
29. Have Eggs and Soldiers for breakfast
30. Wave insanely at passing drivers from the car window
Love
Donna.x
PS please tell me if you do some of these things!!!
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
6 Years Old Again
- 6 years old again -
So after my speech about letting out the inner child on Tuesday, a couple of people were wondering…well, how? I make it look so easy (but yes, I did feel like an idiot), but when you're used to acting like a grown up, how do you start being a kid again? Some of the boys at Toastmasters had NO trouble at all…but it's easy enough in a safe space when you've been given permission. How do you bring 'childishness' into your real life??
The good news is, you don't have to throw a tantrum, take drugs or make an utter fool of yourself to do it. You don't have to do it in front of anyone (yet) - you can dance around like a loon to your favourite music, jump up and down with excitement about ice cream, play hopscotch, watch a cartoon (Jungle Book is my favourite!), get some colouring pens and a colouring book (or paint by numbers if you want to pretend to be an adult), read a kids book (Mr Men!), clap excitedly when Heroes is on telly, play dress up, climb a tree, make a daisy chain…all without involving anyone else!!!
If you've got kids it's even easier, because you can play with their toys and get involved in their games and everyone just thinks you are a good parent! But if not, don't despair. Childishness is just around the corner… For example, I was in Sainsburys the other day and I happened to notice in the garden section a bubble gun! YES! A toy gun that you attach bubble mixture to and when you pull the trigger, bubbles come out. BRILLIANT!
Except…it doesn't work. Rubbish. So I got to do the sulky child bit too because I couldn't get it to work properly. Now I have to involve someone else if I want to get the stupid thing working. Anyway, my point is that no one in the shop knew I bought it for me…and if I decide the shame is too much to admit I bought it, no one but you ever needs to know (promise you won't tell - cross your heart?!).
I have to say though, I've found that most people are quite open to a bit of silliness and play. Why do you think we like little kids so much? It's not their scintillating conversation, it's the fact that they are open-hearted, curious, they laugh easily, they make us laugh and we get to play…just to play. When was the last time you played, just to play? Not because you had to, or because someone made you?
Seriously, if you want to behave like a child again, find ways to do it that feel comfortable - don't wait til you have the courage or the confidence or you won't feel like an idiot (that will never happen!) or the moon in Sagitarius - just do it when no one is looking. Soon, you will be involving those people in your life who also have an active inner child…and before you know it, you'll be embarrassing everyone else on holiday by running whooping into the sea!!!! And I'll be right there beside you, bucket and spade in hand.
- Something To Play With -
What did you love to do when you were a little kid? What would you love to do now? If no one was watching, would you go on the swings or slide, would you play musical statues or musical bumps, would you spin round until you were dizzy, would you read The Faraway Tree (I read it again last year - it's ACE!), would you get out the lego…Hmm, if you'll excuse me, I'm sure I have got some lego somewhere… Why are you still sat there? Go and play! Want to share how you are going to play??? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
- Reccommended Read -
The Torturer's Bible by Donna M Higton - oh WHAT FUN to have the recommended read be something that I have written! "The Torturer's Bible" will show you the most important lesson for a wonderful life...and it's incredibly easy to learn and start implementing. One reader just read 2 pages and took himself out for a run, planned a night out and went from feeling shattered to energised in about 10 minutes! Here's just a little of the wonderful feedback I've got so far...
"Your book is incredible. I have a ton of books...and I'm just blown away by you!" Nina, USA.
"Great job with the EBook!!! I really enjoyed reading it and you gave a lot of practical and useful examples and suggestions" Kevin, USA.
"Love the Torturers Bible! It really put me in a good mood when I read it." Claire, UK.
"The Torturer's Bible is BRILLIANT!" Jody, USA To get your copy, for exactly nought pence, click here. Make sure you read right to the end, because you will have a chance to win a copy of the audio version when it is complete!
Love
Donna.x
So after my speech about letting out the inner child on Tuesday, a couple of people were wondering…well, how? I make it look so easy (but yes, I did feel like an idiot), but when you're used to acting like a grown up, how do you start being a kid again? Some of the boys at Toastmasters had NO trouble at all…but it's easy enough in a safe space when you've been given permission. How do you bring 'childishness' into your real life??
The good news is, you don't have to throw a tantrum, take drugs or make an utter fool of yourself to do it. You don't have to do it in front of anyone (yet) - you can dance around like a loon to your favourite music, jump up and down with excitement about ice cream, play hopscotch, watch a cartoon (Jungle Book is my favourite!), get some colouring pens and a colouring book (or paint by numbers if you want to pretend to be an adult), read a kids book (Mr Men!), clap excitedly when Heroes is on telly, play dress up, climb a tree, make a daisy chain…all without involving anyone else!!!
If you've got kids it's even easier, because you can play with their toys and get involved in their games and everyone just thinks you are a good parent! But if not, don't despair. Childishness is just around the corner… For example, I was in Sainsburys the other day and I happened to notice in the garden section a bubble gun! YES! A toy gun that you attach bubble mixture to and when you pull the trigger, bubbles come out. BRILLIANT!
Except…it doesn't work. Rubbish. So I got to do the sulky child bit too because I couldn't get it to work properly. Now I have to involve someone else if I want to get the stupid thing working. Anyway, my point is that no one in the shop knew I bought it for me…and if I decide the shame is too much to admit I bought it, no one but you ever needs to know (promise you won't tell - cross your heart?!).
I have to say though, I've found that most people are quite open to a bit of silliness and play. Why do you think we like little kids so much? It's not their scintillating conversation, it's the fact that they are open-hearted, curious, they laugh easily, they make us laugh and we get to play…just to play. When was the last time you played, just to play? Not because you had to, or because someone made you?
Seriously, if you want to behave like a child again, find ways to do it that feel comfortable - don't wait til you have the courage or the confidence or you won't feel like an idiot (that will never happen!) or the moon in Sagitarius - just do it when no one is looking. Soon, you will be involving those people in your life who also have an active inner child…and before you know it, you'll be embarrassing everyone else on holiday by running whooping into the sea!!!! And I'll be right there beside you, bucket and spade in hand.
- Something To Play With -
What did you love to do when you were a little kid? What would you love to do now? If no one was watching, would you go on the swings or slide, would you play musical statues or musical bumps, would you spin round until you were dizzy, would you read The Faraway Tree (I read it again last year - it's ACE!), would you get out the lego…Hmm, if you'll excuse me, I'm sure I have got some lego somewhere… Why are you still sat there? Go and play! Want to share how you are going to play??? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
- Reccommended Read -
The Torturer's Bible by Donna M Higton - oh WHAT FUN to have the recommended read be something that I have written! "The Torturer's Bible" will show you the most important lesson for a wonderful life...and it's incredibly easy to learn and start implementing. One reader just read 2 pages and took himself out for a run, planned a night out and went from feeling shattered to energised in about 10 minutes! Here's just a little of the wonderful feedback I've got so far...
"Your book is incredible. I have a ton of books...and I'm just blown away by you!" Nina, USA.
"Great job with the EBook!!! I really enjoyed reading it and you gave a lot of practical and useful examples and suggestions" Kevin, USA.
"Love the Torturers Bible! It really put me in a good mood when I read it." Claire, UK.
"The Torturer's Bible is BRILLIANT!" Jody, USA To get your copy, for exactly nought pence, click here. Make sure you read right to the end, because you will have a chance to win a copy of the audio version when it is complete!
Love
Donna.x
Friday, May 23, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
The role of Love
To clarify, Donna, the primary roles of LOVE are not to heal, fix, or mend. Not to soothe, cure, or ease. Not even to refresh, rejuvenate, or restore. Hardly.
The primary roles of LOVE, Donna, are to "Yahoo!" "Yeehaa!" and "Whoohooo!"
Get your love on,
The Universe
You were born to love, Donna, no matter the cost, no matter what someone else said, and no matter how the past once played out.
From TUT - www.tut.com
Love
Donna.x
The primary roles of LOVE, Donna, are to "Yahoo!" "Yeehaa!" and "Whoohooo!"
Get your love on,
The Universe
You were born to love, Donna, no matter the cost, no matter what someone else said, and no matter how the past once played out.
From TUT - www.tut.com
Love
Donna.x
Monday, May 19, 2008
OnTheBeach - Your True State of Being
- A note from Donna -
Oh, I was so enjoying that weather, I went out and bought a WICKED sun lounger (white and floral - it's so cheery!) and it's rained ever since. Aaaah, c'est la vie! But you know, whatever the weather is doing - get out and enjoy the outdoors. I was walking the dog today and everything looks so GREEN and gorgeous - because of the rain. Don't let the rain get you down - get your wellies on, jump in some puddles and enjoy the green lusciousness of the country. (if you don't live in England and you have decent weather - just enjoy that!)
- Your True State of Being -
So I was wondering what to write this week, and I was reminded of a message I get a lot (from my intuition, soul self, upstairs, whatever…from somewhere!) - be who you truly are. Do you know who you truly are? Not just your true personality, your true state of being. Most of us touch our true state of being occasionally - big occasions like weddings, births, and incredible experiences bring us close to that purity of feeling.
Sadly, most of the time our true state of being is hidden under a lifetime of worries, irrelevancies and distractions. So what is our true state of being? Love. Peace. Joy. Freedom. Bliss. Notice how you feel when you just say these words. Does one resonate with you more than others? For me, it's joy. The very word tugs at my heart strings, and I KNOW that joy is my birthright.
As is love, peace, freedom and bliss. That is our true nature, our inner being, our soul is pure love, peace, joy, freedom and bliss. Easy to forget when the kids are screaming, the mortgage needs paying and you are stressed to the heavens. But we humans are pure love…just with lots of layers on! Take those layers off often and get in touch with who you truly are - you are an incredible, gifted, wonderful, gorgeous being with an immense capacity for love, joy, freedom, peace and bliss.
- Something To Play With -
I kept the article short this week so you'd have time for this quick meditation - breathe deeply, and as you breathe in imagine you are breathing in love from all around you (from spirit/God if that appeals to you). As you breathe out, imagine you are sending love out to all around you (or Spirit/God). Do this until you feel your heart expand with love…and if you can, keep going for a few more breaths and revel in this love!! Repeat often - you can even do this while staring at your computer screen…and no one will ever know!
Oh, I was so enjoying that weather, I went out and bought a WICKED sun lounger (white and floral - it's so cheery!) and it's rained ever since. Aaaah, c'est la vie! But you know, whatever the weather is doing - get out and enjoy the outdoors. I was walking the dog today and everything looks so GREEN and gorgeous - because of the rain. Don't let the rain get you down - get your wellies on, jump in some puddles and enjoy the green lusciousness of the country. (if you don't live in England and you have decent weather - just enjoy that!)
- Your True State of Being -
So I was wondering what to write this week, and I was reminded of a message I get a lot (from my intuition, soul self, upstairs, whatever…from somewhere!) - be who you truly are. Do you know who you truly are? Not just your true personality, your true state of being. Most of us touch our true state of being occasionally - big occasions like weddings, births, and incredible experiences bring us close to that purity of feeling.
Sadly, most of the time our true state of being is hidden under a lifetime of worries, irrelevancies and distractions. So what is our true state of being? Love. Peace. Joy. Freedom. Bliss. Notice how you feel when you just say these words. Does one resonate with you more than others? For me, it's joy. The very word tugs at my heart strings, and I KNOW that joy is my birthright.
As is love, peace, freedom and bliss. That is our true nature, our inner being, our soul is pure love, peace, joy, freedom and bliss. Easy to forget when the kids are screaming, the mortgage needs paying and you are stressed to the heavens. But we humans are pure love…just with lots of layers on! Take those layers off often and get in touch with who you truly are - you are an incredible, gifted, wonderful, gorgeous being with an immense capacity for love, joy, freedom, peace and bliss.
- Something To Play With -
I kept the article short this week so you'd have time for this quick meditation - breathe deeply, and as you breathe in imagine you are breathing in love from all around you (from spirit/God if that appeals to you). As you breathe out, imagine you are sending love out to all around you (or Spirit/God). Do this until you feel your heart expand with love…and if you can, keep going for a few more breaths and revel in this love!! Repeat often - you can even do this while staring at your computer screen…and no one will ever know!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
OnTheBeach - Savour Your Life
A note from Donna -
Oh Sunshiiiiiiiiine! In the UK we have such lovely weather at the moment - it is utterly delightful - blue skies, sunshine. Gorgeous. The papers have been full of stories about how much happier we are when the sun is shining. I have been loving it this week - and I have really been taking the time to appreciate it while it's here. It's been an immensely busy couple of weeks - workwise and socially - and it's worth remembering that by being present, you amplify the joy in this moment. So if the sun is still shining, remember to take a moment to enjoy it!!
- Savour Your Life -
Isn't it always the way that you have nothing to do for weeks, then all of a sudden everything comes at once. Like buses. My life has been like that these past 2 weeks - I've had lots of meetings, lots of social engagements, lots of stuff going on. I've barely had time to appreciate one thing before I'm moving on to the next one. Given the choice, I'd rather have a slightly less chaotic life, and more chance to savour each moment, but the beginning of May just hasn't worked out that way!
It did get me thinking though - do you take the time to savour your life? The good stuff I mean, not the stuff that sucks!! When you are enjoying a meal with friends, are you fully there, enjoying said meal? Or are you worrying about the past or future, thinking about how much you have to do when you get home, too caught up in the enormity of life to appreciate the minutae of life?
Joy lives in the small things - in a starry sky at night, in beautiful sunshine, in the first spring flowers, in shared experience of friendship, in music, in dancing, in moments of appreciation for what is around you. And so often we go through life with our eyes half closed, not paying attention to what is there, not being present, not milking every ounce of enjoyment we can out of each precious moment.
This was underlined to me today as my friend followed me 'the scenic route' from where we met for lunch. It is a beautiful route - fields and trees and big skies, but because I drive it quite often, I had grown immune to the beauty! Today I looked at it through new eyes - eyes that have never seen it before…and it is a stunning journey. Not just a way to get from A to B, a journey to be savoured. Much like life. Are you savouring yours?
- Something To Play With -
As you go through life this week, remember to stop and savour the moment. Pause and smell the flowers, actually see the world around you as you drive or walk from place to place, enjoy doing what you are doing in this moment - savour these words! Want to share how this article affects you? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
Oh Sunshiiiiiiiiine! In the UK we have such lovely weather at the moment - it is utterly delightful - blue skies, sunshine. Gorgeous. The papers have been full of stories about how much happier we are when the sun is shining. I have been loving it this week - and I have really been taking the time to appreciate it while it's here. It's been an immensely busy couple of weeks - workwise and socially - and it's worth remembering that by being present, you amplify the joy in this moment. So if the sun is still shining, remember to take a moment to enjoy it!!
- Savour Your Life -
Isn't it always the way that you have nothing to do for weeks, then all of a sudden everything comes at once. Like buses. My life has been like that these past 2 weeks - I've had lots of meetings, lots of social engagements, lots of stuff going on. I've barely had time to appreciate one thing before I'm moving on to the next one. Given the choice, I'd rather have a slightly less chaotic life, and more chance to savour each moment, but the beginning of May just hasn't worked out that way!
It did get me thinking though - do you take the time to savour your life? The good stuff I mean, not the stuff that sucks!! When you are enjoying a meal with friends, are you fully there, enjoying said meal? Or are you worrying about the past or future, thinking about how much you have to do when you get home, too caught up in the enormity of life to appreciate the minutae of life?
Joy lives in the small things - in a starry sky at night, in beautiful sunshine, in the first spring flowers, in shared experience of friendship, in music, in dancing, in moments of appreciation for what is around you. And so often we go through life with our eyes half closed, not paying attention to what is there, not being present, not milking every ounce of enjoyment we can out of each precious moment.
This was underlined to me today as my friend followed me 'the scenic route' from where we met for lunch. It is a beautiful route - fields and trees and big skies, but because I drive it quite often, I had grown immune to the beauty! Today I looked at it through new eyes - eyes that have never seen it before…and it is a stunning journey. Not just a way to get from A to B, a journey to be savoured. Much like life. Are you savouring yours?
- Something To Play With -
As you go through life this week, remember to stop and savour the moment. Pause and smell the flowers, actually see the world around you as you drive or walk from place to place, enjoy doing what you are doing in this moment - savour these words! Want to share how this article affects you? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
Friday, May 09, 2008
Your 'To-Do' list vs Your Peace of Mind
So, here I am, it's after 5 on Friday afternoon, and I still have 2 hours minimum of work left on my 'to do' list. Hmmm...I think there is going to be stuff left undone this week! I have a very simple criteria to run by when I get to this point - will the world end if I don't do it? None of the items on my list are world altering at all.
Unless of course, I decide to berate myself for being rubbish, useless, lazy, etc. But why would I? Ok, this is the first time I have got round to writing my blog this week (can you believe a week has gone by ALREADY?!), and there are actions on here that I really could do with taking. But it isn't more important than my peace of mind!
Are you allowing the un-done items on your to-do list be more important than your peace of mind? And if so, WHY?! If the world won't be knocked off its orbit, it is something that can be done tomorrow. Or maybe the next day! In the meantime, have a GREAT weekend! I intend to.
Love
Donna.x
Unless of course, I decide to berate myself for being rubbish, useless, lazy, etc. But why would I? Ok, this is the first time I have got round to writing my blog this week (can you believe a week has gone by ALREADY?!), and there are actions on here that I really could do with taking. But it isn't more important than my peace of mind!
Are you allowing the un-done items on your to-do list be more important than your peace of mind? And if so, WHY?! If the world won't be knocked off its orbit, it is something that can be done tomorrow. Or maybe the next day! In the meantime, have a GREAT weekend! I intend to.
Love
Donna.x
Friday, May 02, 2008
Honouring Your Energy
I had a very funny conversation with my mom this afternoon - I was saying that I was tired even before the weekend began...and I have a busy weeekend coming up! I expressed a bit of surprise that I was so tired, and she said 'don't forget, Tuesday was a tough day - you need time to recover from that' which of course I haven't had!
You'd think I'd have clocked that, eh? After all, I'm the one always banging on about self-care! I even wrote a book about it! This conversation reminded me to honour my energy. It's not too high right now - I'm ok for sitting here writing this, but no more. So I need a recharge before my weekend starts in earnest with a gig tonight (which I am INCREDIBLY EXCITED about!!!).
Of course, I will be fired up by the gig and by seeing my friend...but that adrenaline surge will leave me crashed tomorrow...and I don't have time to crash - there is burlesque, handcuffs and hens to deal with (I'll tell you about that next time!). So, I'm off for a battery recharge - plug me into the sunshine and I'll be good to go!
Remember, honour your energy in this moment...and honour your energy for the next moment too. If you know you are going to need Energiser Bunny energy all weekend, make sure you take the time to charge yourself up beforehand.
Have a FANTASTIC weekend!
love
Donna.x
You'd think I'd have clocked that, eh? After all, I'm the one always banging on about self-care! I even wrote a book about it! This conversation reminded me to honour my energy. It's not too high right now - I'm ok for sitting here writing this, but no more. So I need a recharge before my weekend starts in earnest with a gig tonight (which I am INCREDIBLY EXCITED about!!!).
Of course, I will be fired up by the gig and by seeing my friend...but that adrenaline surge will leave me crashed tomorrow...and I don't have time to crash - there is burlesque, handcuffs and hens to deal with (I'll tell you about that next time!). So, I'm off for a battery recharge - plug me into the sunshine and I'll be good to go!
Remember, honour your energy in this moment...and honour your energy for the next moment too. If you know you are going to need Energiser Bunny energy all weekend, make sure you take the time to charge yourself up beforehand.
Have a FANTASTIC weekend!
love
Donna.x
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Hung Over
Well, it was the funeral of a family friend yesterday (yes, another funeral - that's 4 in about 10 months! I feel like rent-a-mourner.) And today I am Hung Over. Not in the traditional sense of a beer hangover - I don't drink much and managed to make each half of lager last an hour!) In the sense that it was a day out of normality - a really weird day of seeing people I haven't seen for ages.
And then today I'm back at my desk, trying to concentrate on what I am supposed to be doing! It's amazing how displaced you can get when you are involved in something like that - I feel utterly drained! So, in the spirit of practicing what I preach, I am working but taking it easy today. I hope you are honouring how your body, mind, heart and soul feel today.
Love
Donna.x
And then today I'm back at my desk, trying to concentrate on what I am supposed to be doing! It's amazing how displaced you can get when you are involved in something like that - I feel utterly drained! So, in the spirit of practicing what I preach, I am working but taking it easy today. I hope you are honouring how your body, mind, heart and soul feel today.
Love
Donna.x
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Know when to switch off
A desk piled with paper, a to-do list 12 people couldn't complete in a month, and a racing mind.
Sound familiar?
Do you know when to switch off, or do you stock up on caffeine and adrenaline and keep going late into the evening...day after day after day?
Here's a tip: if you need artificial stimulants to keep you going, you need to stop. Probably about 2 hours ago!
Don't force yourself beyond your endurance. Know when it's time to stop.
Love
Donna.x
Sound familiar?
Do you know when to switch off, or do you stock up on caffeine and adrenaline and keep going late into the evening...day after day after day?
Here's a tip: if you need artificial stimulants to keep you going, you need to stop. Probably about 2 hours ago!
Don't force yourself beyond your endurance. Know when it's time to stop.
Love
Donna.x
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
A few last minute hiccups
Well, I was hugely optimistic when I announced to the breathlessly waiting world that my ebook is finished! All I had to do was create the pdf, set up the download pages, and record a couple of little audio files. Easy!
Yesterday I found out that a close family friend had passed away. Expected, but still very upsetting, and nixed yesterday for me - I couldn't concentrate to do any work! Today, I was determined to get on with it and was going great guns, until I ran smack-bang into a wall! The wall being the pdf I'm trying to create - either it doesn't work at all, or none of the links work.
Grrrrrrrrrrr. So please bear with me, it is SO CLOSE!!!
Love
Donna.x
Yesterday I found out that a close family friend had passed away. Expected, but still very upsetting, and nixed yesterday for me - I couldn't concentrate to do any work! Today, I was determined to get on with it and was going great guns, until I ran smack-bang into a wall! The wall being the pdf I'm trying to create - either it doesn't work at all, or none of the links work.
Grrrrrrrrrrr. So please bear with me, it is SO CLOSE!!!
Love
Donna.x
OnTheBeach - When No Action is the Right Action
A note from Donna -
Well, finally I have completed "The Torturer's Bible" - who knew that 30 pages would take 5 times as many days?! To those lovely people who are at the front of the queue, you will be receiving your link to download the ebook in the next couple of days. The rest of you will just have to wait til next week. If you can't wait, drop me an e-mail with "I can't wait that long, give me the link right now" in the subject.
- When No Action is the Right Action -
When was the last time you said to yourself "I really should have done that by now"? Maybe about your work, your fitness, your clutter clearing, your millionaire status? How often have you berated yourself for a task undone, a plan not put into action, a goal not yet achieved? Berating yourself is usually an attempt to motivate. Sadly, it doesn't work too well. Mostly, it is demotivating and demoralising - you end up feeling like a failure for not having done whatever you thought you should be doing.
What if it was ok that you had taken no action? What if there was a reason for you to be inactive on this for a while? No, not that you are a lazy slob! A good reason. Maybe even one that you don't know yet. Readers who've been with me for a while may remember an article last year about procrastination - in my view there are 2 reasons to procrastinate: not ready or don't want to.
Don't want to is easy, but not ready? How do you spot that one if you think you should be ready?! Let me give you an example. I've been writing an ebook for MONTHS…and I 'should' have finished it long ago! It's the first in a long line of ebooks and audio programs…and this first step has taken (what seems to me to be) forever! But guess what? I wasn't ready. It wasn't ready.
Now I'd have sworn blind that I was ready all along…and I would have been totally wrong. This project is now finished, and I can see clearly that to have rushed it would have been a mistake. I can see now that those periods of seeming inaction were really 'simmer-time' - where the ideas, knowledge and vision were all coming together to make the next steps really obvious.
This happens absurdly often with clients too. They will be berating themselves for not having taken some action, then with hindsight they will realise that the delay factor was a good thing. I believe that we are always doing our best, and I also believe that this is a friendly universe. Put the two together, and maybe inaction is the best action to take?
- Something To Play With -
Think of a project you have been procrastinating on. If this delay was FOR you, and a good thing, why might that be? Want to share how this article affects you? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
Well, finally I have completed "The Torturer's Bible" - who knew that 30 pages would take 5 times as many days?! To those lovely people who are at the front of the queue, you will be receiving your link to download the ebook in the next couple of days. The rest of you will just have to wait til next week. If you can't wait, drop me an e-mail with "I can't wait that long, give me the link right now" in the subject.
- When No Action is the Right Action -
When was the last time you said to yourself "I really should have done that by now"? Maybe about your work, your fitness, your clutter clearing, your millionaire status? How often have you berated yourself for a task undone, a plan not put into action, a goal not yet achieved? Berating yourself is usually an attempt to motivate. Sadly, it doesn't work too well. Mostly, it is demotivating and demoralising - you end up feeling like a failure for not having done whatever you thought you should be doing.
What if it was ok that you had taken no action? What if there was a reason for you to be inactive on this for a while? No, not that you are a lazy slob! A good reason. Maybe even one that you don't know yet. Readers who've been with me for a while may remember an article last year about procrastination - in my view there are 2 reasons to procrastinate: not ready or don't want to.
Don't want to is easy, but not ready? How do you spot that one if you think you should be ready?! Let me give you an example. I've been writing an ebook for MONTHS…and I 'should' have finished it long ago! It's the first in a long line of ebooks and audio programs…and this first step has taken (what seems to me to be) forever! But guess what? I wasn't ready. It wasn't ready.
Now I'd have sworn blind that I was ready all along…and I would have been totally wrong. This project is now finished, and I can see clearly that to have rushed it would have been a mistake. I can see now that those periods of seeming inaction were really 'simmer-time' - where the ideas, knowledge and vision were all coming together to make the next steps really obvious.
This happens absurdly often with clients too. They will be berating themselves for not having taken some action, then with hindsight they will realise that the delay factor was a good thing. I believe that we are always doing our best, and I also believe that this is a friendly universe. Put the two together, and maybe inaction is the best action to take?
- Something To Play With -
Think of a project you have been procrastinating on. If this delay was FOR you, and a good thing, why might that be? Want to share how this article affects you? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
Friday, April 18, 2008
So close, So close, So close...
Right, this free ebook I've been working on since the beginning of time. It was nearly finished in February!!! I'm STILL working on it! It's only 30 pages. By now it should be War and Peace it's taking so darn long! The trouble is that just when I think I'm done, I get another idea. I got over one obstacle this week - the pictures to go in and for the 'cover'...oh my life I have gone boss-eyed looking at pictures!
And of course, every search I do I get 25475 possibilities to sift through! But I have narrowed it down, and that bit is done - its just the last bit that needs to go in. I was going to be finished by the end of the week...and at 7pm on Friday, I've just thought of another idea!!! But do you know what, this free ebook is MUCH better than it would have been if I'd rushed it and said 'that'll do'.
Next week, it'll be ready. Honest! Remember, if you want a copy before anyone else in the whole wide world, you need to e-mail me with "Have you finished YET? I want to read it!" in the subject line!
The moral of the story? Why beat yourself up over not meeting your expectations when whatever you're doing is the right thing. Always. You are always doing your best. I wasn't ready to finish. But I will be. Soon. And next time I will know that I have a lot more to do that WRITING and I'll be doing it as I go along.
Love
Donna.x
And of course, every search I do I get 25475 possibilities to sift through! But I have narrowed it down, and that bit is done - its just the last bit that needs to go in. I was going to be finished by the end of the week...and at 7pm on Friday, I've just thought of another idea!!! But do you know what, this free ebook is MUCH better than it would have been if I'd rushed it and said 'that'll do'.
Next week, it'll be ready. Honest! Remember, if you want a copy before anyone else in the whole wide world, you need to e-mail me with "Have you finished YET? I want to read it!" in the subject line!
The moral of the story? Why beat yourself up over not meeting your expectations when whatever you're doing is the right thing. Always. You are always doing your best. I wasn't ready to finish. But I will be. Soon. And next time I will know that I have a lot more to do that WRITING and I'll be doing it as I go along.
Love
Donna.x
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Enjoying the Win
Last week, I was at a client's offices and in the meeting room they had a picture titled "Face each problem with a will to win" with a picture of athletes in agony (marathon runners by the look of them). I admire the sentiment. Determination, tenacity and will gets you far.
BUT.
It's the agony bit that bothers me! yes, ok, winning is all good...but in business these days it is all too often at the expense of your physical, mental and emotional health...and I can't see that as good no matter which way up I look at it!
How about "Face each problem with a joyful smile and a determination to enjoy finding a solution"? With a picture of smiling, happy people?
Or am I just TOO mad for thinking this???
Love
Donna.x
BUT.
It's the agony bit that bothers me! yes, ok, winning is all good...but in business these days it is all too often at the expense of your physical, mental and emotional health...and I can't see that as good no matter which way up I look at it!
How about "Face each problem with a joyful smile and a determination to enjoy finding a solution"? With a picture of smiling, happy people?
Or am I just TOO mad for thinking this???
Love
Donna.x
Monday, April 14, 2008
OnTheBeach - Powerless
- A note from Donna -
Well, the day I'd set aside for putting the finishing touches to the Torturer's Bible and setting up the webpage is a bit of a washout. We had a fuse burnout and the entire fuse box is being replaced as I speak! So, I am without Power. So you have another short wait before you can get your hands on this free ebook! If you are not already in the queue and would like to be among the first in the world to get a copy, e-mail me with "What's that queue for? Must be something good, I'm going to join" in the subject line. Spookily enough, today's subject fits well with this month's recommended read - check it out.
- Powerless -
So I'm writing this article in the old-fashioned way - pen and paper - by daylight as I have no electricity. But for the sound of cars going by, I could be in another century. The house is incredibly still - not just quiet, but still. It's rather nice actually! When I first discovered I would be without power for hours on end, I was lost! No computer, no radio, no light, no tv, no phone. I can't even make the electrician a cuppa or myself a toastie.
So I took the dog for a nice walk. It was lovely - the sun was shining, and because I had no reason to rush back, it was very leisurely. Normally I am walking along thinking of what is going to happen when I return, but today there was going to be nothing happening without Power. I did think of several things I could do with the 'powerless' time, but there's a curious feeling of ease and patience about it. There's no rush to 'do' anything, no sense of time passing. There is just a curious serenity about the day.
In this world in this century, we are constantly being assaulted by technology. There is too much to do and too little time and we have very little 'down-time'. Proper, quality down time, where there is no hurry to get anything done. Even on holiday, if we are so inclined, we can fill up every last moment with things to do. I feel quite sleepy, and yet also feel that I am being energised by this curiously calm space. Although I could break the silence with my MP3 player, I am happy enough to enjoy these hours of peace. After all, they are so rare; I may as well enjoy them!
- Something To Play With -
Notice today how much electricity adds to your busy life. Imagine just switching everything off for an hour or two, and only 'doing' what you feel like (that isn't powered by the electricity board!). If that imagining feels good, switch off your computers, phones, tellies and radios and enjoy being powerless! Want to share how this article affects you? E-mail meI love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
- Reccommended Read -
In Praise of Slow by Carl Honore Life is such a fast paced ride these days - we have fast food, fast cars, fast internet connection (sometimes!) and there is never enough time to do everything you want to. The hectic pace of life ruins our enjoyment of so many things - food, leisure time, work, love. But does it have to be that way? Carl Honore and I say 'no'. You can slow down your life. It's a choice. You can choose to 'take it easy'. You can choose to put your feet up and just watch the other headless chickens run round. And while you're doing that, read 'In Praise of Slow'!
Well, the day I'd set aside for putting the finishing touches to the Torturer's Bible and setting up the webpage is a bit of a washout. We had a fuse burnout and the entire fuse box is being replaced as I speak! So, I am without Power. So you have another short wait before you can get your hands on this free ebook! If you are not already in the queue and would like to be among the first in the world to get a copy, e-mail me with "What's that queue for? Must be something good, I'm going to join" in the subject line. Spookily enough, today's subject fits well with this month's recommended read - check it out.
- Powerless -
So I'm writing this article in the old-fashioned way - pen and paper - by daylight as I have no electricity. But for the sound of cars going by, I could be in another century. The house is incredibly still - not just quiet, but still. It's rather nice actually! When I first discovered I would be without power for hours on end, I was lost! No computer, no radio, no light, no tv, no phone. I can't even make the electrician a cuppa or myself a toastie.
So I took the dog for a nice walk. It was lovely - the sun was shining, and because I had no reason to rush back, it was very leisurely. Normally I am walking along thinking of what is going to happen when I return, but today there was going to be nothing happening without Power. I did think of several things I could do with the 'powerless' time, but there's a curious feeling of ease and patience about it. There's no rush to 'do' anything, no sense of time passing. There is just a curious serenity about the day.
In this world in this century, we are constantly being assaulted by technology. There is too much to do and too little time and we have very little 'down-time'. Proper, quality down time, where there is no hurry to get anything done. Even on holiday, if we are so inclined, we can fill up every last moment with things to do. I feel quite sleepy, and yet also feel that I am being energised by this curiously calm space. Although I could break the silence with my MP3 player, I am happy enough to enjoy these hours of peace. After all, they are so rare; I may as well enjoy them!
- Something To Play With -
Notice today how much electricity adds to your busy life. Imagine just switching everything off for an hour or two, and only 'doing' what you feel like (that isn't powered by the electricity board!). If that imagining feels good, switch off your computers, phones, tellies and radios and enjoy being powerless! Want to share how this article affects you? E-mail meI love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
- Reccommended Read -
In Praise of Slow by Carl Honore Life is such a fast paced ride these days - we have fast food, fast cars, fast internet connection (sometimes!) and there is never enough time to do everything you want to. The hectic pace of life ruins our enjoyment of so many things - food, leisure time, work, love. But does it have to be that way? Carl Honore and I say 'no'. You can slow down your life. It's a choice. You can choose to 'take it easy'. You can choose to put your feet up and just watch the other headless chickens run round. And while you're doing that, read 'In Praise of Slow'!
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
What did you do Right today?
If I asked you at the end of the day what you did wrong, or what you 'should' have done that you didn't do, how many answers would you have for me? (just a rough guess, you don't need to count exactly!)
My guess is that you could think of 10-20 things quite easily.
Now, what if I were to ask you what you did RIGHT today? What are you pleased with? What are you proud of? Can you get 10-20 again?
Again, my guess is that you would find this more difficult! Why is it so easy to criticise ourselves but so hard to praise ourselves? Which is more motivating? Constant criticism or constant praise? Which do you do to yourself?
Just for today, notice what you got RIGHT. Then, you could maybe do it again tomorrow...and the next day...and the next day.
I wonder how much happier you'd be if you did this every day?
Love
Donna.x
My guess is that you could think of 10-20 things quite easily.
Now, what if I were to ask you what you did RIGHT today? What are you pleased with? What are you proud of? Can you get 10-20 again?
Again, my guess is that you would find this more difficult! Why is it so easy to criticise ourselves but so hard to praise ourselves? Which is more motivating? Constant criticism or constant praise? Which do you do to yourself?
Just for today, notice what you got RIGHT. Then, you could maybe do it again tomorrow...and the next day...and the next day.
I wonder how much happier you'd be if you did this every day?
Love
Donna.x
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Learning More From Failure
Do you learn more from failing than you do from succeeding?
It is accepted wisdom that we learn a lot more from making a mess of things than we do from effortlessly flying through. But why?
Is it because there are more lessons when we fail? Or is it because we don’t examine the cause of our success as much as we analyse the cause of our failure?
I believe it is the latter – there are just as many lessons to learn from happiness, ease, joy and success. But we don’t tend to pay any attention when things are going well. As soon as things go bad, we get out the magnifying glass and take it apart!
What’s going well in your life right now? Why is it going well? What are you doing to contribute to this ‘well’ness? What are the factors that make up a happy, successful life for you? Are you doing them?
Make the decision today to learn just as much from what you are doing right as what you are getting wrong.
Love
Donna.x
Monday, April 07, 2008
OnTheBeach - WAKE UP it's a Beautiful Morning
- A note from Donna -
Tick, tock, tick, tock. The countdown is on for the launch of my free ebook "The Torturer's Bible" - intrigued?? I am really excited about this project, and that's why it's taking so darn long to finish - I keep adding to it. What was a 15 page mini book is now nearly twice that. I am so lucky to have such wonderful enthusiasm for my work! Just a few more finishing touches, and it WILL be released! And you guys will be the first to know. Want a sneak peek before anyone else gets it? E-mail me with 'I am in the queue with my sleeping bag and flask of hot coffee' in the subject line, and you will be one of the first to get a copy.
- Wake up it's a Beautiful Morning -
What do you wake up to? Do you wake up to the news telling you that it's a depressing day in a depressing world? Do you wake up to some irritating idiot who thinks he's funny? Do you wake up to a jarring beep-beep-beep-beep? Or do you wake up to something that fills you with joy, laughter, happiness, excitement for the day and energy? If you do the latter - congratulations!
What better way to start the day than being woken up by something joyful? Whether it's children, cats, dogs, sunlight, music or the voice of a loved one it's a wonderful thing to start the day feeling good. Now, I say this from the perspective of someone who has NEVER been a morning person! 7am is the middle of the night as far as I am concerned, and I have hated getting up ever since I was in school.
However, in recent years I've got better and better. I'm still a grouch in the morning - just don't speak to me, and I'll be fine - but I've found that much of my hatred of getting up is a matter of attitude…AND what I wake up to. I admit, it does help that I work a lot of the time from home, and I don't have to get up at the crack of dawn, but even then, the insistent, jarring beep-beep-beep-beep would jolt me out of sleep with a racing heart and murder on my mind!
Some time ago I got a CD player alarm clock, so I could wake up to my choice of music every morning…much better! For weeks, I woke up to Antmusic by Adam and the Ants, and just recently I have been waking up to a CD by Abraham Hicks - very inspiring way to start the day! And then yesterday, I had an epiphany - create a CD of morning music. So here's my playlist so far:
Lovely Day by Bill Withers (nice and mellow to begin with)
Feeling Good by Muse (more mellowness)
Beautiful Day by U2 (yep, time to wake up!)
Wake up Boo by the Boo Radleys
Pump It by Black Eyed Peas
What's the story (morning Glory) by Oasis
Any ideas on what to add to this CD? (Just in case I am STILL lying in bed after half an hour of music…which is quite likely!) If you have some ideas, please e-mail me. You know, every morning you wake up alive, full of possibility and promise, IS a beautiful morning.
- Something To Play With -
What do you wake up to? Is it inspiring? Does it fill you with joy? If so, tomorrow morning, revel in that feeling of joy and wonder for 30 seconds before you get up. If not, what can you change today to make tomorrow morning a more beautiful morning? Want to share how this article affects you? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
To sign up for Donna's weekly newsletter, go to www.donnaonthebeach.co.uk/newsletters
Tick, tock, tick, tock. The countdown is on for the launch of my free ebook "The Torturer's Bible" - intrigued?? I am really excited about this project, and that's why it's taking so darn long to finish - I keep adding to it. What was a 15 page mini book is now nearly twice that. I am so lucky to have such wonderful enthusiasm for my work! Just a few more finishing touches, and it WILL be released! And you guys will be the first to know. Want a sneak peek before anyone else gets it? E-mail me with 'I am in the queue with my sleeping bag and flask of hot coffee' in the subject line, and you will be one of the first to get a copy.
- Wake up it's a Beautiful Morning -
What do you wake up to? Do you wake up to the news telling you that it's a depressing day in a depressing world? Do you wake up to some irritating idiot who thinks he's funny? Do you wake up to a jarring beep-beep-beep-beep? Or do you wake up to something that fills you with joy, laughter, happiness, excitement for the day and energy? If you do the latter - congratulations!
What better way to start the day than being woken up by something joyful? Whether it's children, cats, dogs, sunlight, music or the voice of a loved one it's a wonderful thing to start the day feeling good. Now, I say this from the perspective of someone who has NEVER been a morning person! 7am is the middle of the night as far as I am concerned, and I have hated getting up ever since I was in school.
However, in recent years I've got better and better. I'm still a grouch in the morning - just don't speak to me, and I'll be fine - but I've found that much of my hatred of getting up is a matter of attitude…AND what I wake up to. I admit, it does help that I work a lot of the time from home, and I don't have to get up at the crack of dawn, but even then, the insistent, jarring beep-beep-beep-beep would jolt me out of sleep with a racing heart and murder on my mind!
Some time ago I got a CD player alarm clock, so I could wake up to my choice of music every morning…much better! For weeks, I woke up to Antmusic by Adam and the Ants, and just recently I have been waking up to a CD by Abraham Hicks - very inspiring way to start the day! And then yesterday, I had an epiphany - create a CD of morning music. So here's my playlist so far:
Lovely Day by Bill Withers (nice and mellow to begin with)
Feeling Good by Muse (more mellowness)
Beautiful Day by U2 (yep, time to wake up!)
Wake up Boo by the Boo Radleys
Pump It by Black Eyed Peas
What's the story (morning Glory) by Oasis
Any ideas on what to add to this CD? (Just in case I am STILL lying in bed after half an hour of music…which is quite likely!) If you have some ideas, please e-mail me. You know, every morning you wake up alive, full of possibility and promise, IS a beautiful morning.
- Something To Play With -
What do you wake up to? Is it inspiring? Does it fill you with joy? If so, tomorrow morning, revel in that feeling of joy and wonder for 30 seconds before you get up. If not, what can you change today to make tomorrow morning a more beautiful morning? Want to share how this article affects you? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
To sign up for Donna's weekly newsletter, go to www.donnaonthebeach.co.uk/newsletters
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Before it's too late
In November, a 39 year old man went to the doctor's with stomach problems.
Last week, that man died.
He just turned 40 in February.
Do you think that you have all the time in the world to do what you want to do with your life?
What if you're wrong?
If you just had a week to live, what would you regret most not having done?
Can you make plans to go and do it, now?
Before it's too late.
By the way my main regret would be not having enjoyed what I was doing at any given time.
Love
Donna.x
Monday, March 31, 2008
OnTheBeach - Why Wait to Be Happy?
- A note from Donna -
I got some bad news this week. A friend of the family died. I seem to have said that an awful lot in the last year. Death and his scythe seem to be very busy round here right now. This man turned 40 just a few short weeks ago and leaves 2 small children and his wife. Ugh. How many reminders can we take that life is short?? As you can imagine it's left me feeling a bit flat this week, but when we went to see his wife and kids, me and the kids ended up outside on the trampoline at 9 at night - even at sad times, there's fun to be had.
Lastly there will be a new recommended read next week, so if you're interested in being a journalutionary, now's the time!
- Why Wait to be Happy? -
What is in the way of you being happy right now? What are you waiting for? The right partner? The right house? Maybe the moon in Pisces? Everyone else to do what you think they should do? Is it the case that you can only be happy if everything is in alignment? Can you only enjoy life if all your ducks are in a row? Have you imposed conditions on your ability to have a great life?
If you are waiting for some conditions to be met before you can enjoy life, you are wasting perfectly good happy time. I'm going to keep this short this week because the dog is standing by me wagging her tail - we're going to go jump in some puddles. My message is simple: Don't wait to start enjoying your life. Don't wait for the job or the bloke or the house or the bank account of your dreams. Start now. Right now. Enjoy it before it's too damn late.
"Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves." Helen Keller
- Something To Play With -
Complete the following sentence "I will be happy when…" as many times as you can. Now throw that piece of paper away, get a new piece of paper and write in big red letters "I can and will be happy RIGHT NOW!" Then go do something that makes you happy. If you develop the ability to be happy even when life isn't perfect, you will have a great life! Want to share how this article affects you? E-mail me I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails. Or why not join Donna's monthly group coaching to explore this concept some more?
- Reccommended Read -
Journalution by Sandy Grason Have you ever kept a diary? Have you ever kept (or wanted to keep) a diary not just of your day to day life, but to connect with your inner wisdom? If not, and you are interested in accessing your inner wisdom (if you're not, why not?!) by keeping a diary, check out Journalution by Sandy Grason. It's a book about keeping a diary, or journalling - not only ideas on how and when (whatever works for you), also journalling prompts to get you moving. It's a lovely book - Sandy's style is friendly, warm and realistic - she knows life's going to get in the way! I've been working with the journalling prompts for a couple of months, and I am loving the results already - my diary isn't a moan about life anymore, it's a place to dream, to find answers, and to have fun!
Journalution by Sandy Grason
I got some bad news this week. A friend of the family died. I seem to have said that an awful lot in the last year. Death and his scythe seem to be very busy round here right now. This man turned 40 just a few short weeks ago and leaves 2 small children and his wife. Ugh. How many reminders can we take that life is short?? As you can imagine it's left me feeling a bit flat this week, but when we went to see his wife and kids, me and the kids ended up outside on the trampoline at 9 at night - even at sad times, there's fun to be had.
Lastly there will be a new recommended read next week, so if you're interested in being a journalutionary, now's the time!
- Why Wait to be Happy? -
What is in the way of you being happy right now? What are you waiting for? The right partner? The right house? Maybe the moon in Pisces? Everyone else to do what you think they should do? Is it the case that you can only be happy if everything is in alignment? Can you only enjoy life if all your ducks are in a row? Have you imposed conditions on your ability to have a great life?
If you are waiting for some conditions to be met before you can enjoy life, you are wasting perfectly good happy time. I'm going to keep this short this week because the dog is standing by me wagging her tail - we're going to go jump in some puddles. My message is simple: Don't wait to start enjoying your life. Don't wait for the job or the bloke or the house or the bank account of your dreams. Start now. Right now. Enjoy it before it's too damn late.
"Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves." Helen Keller
- Something To Play With -
Complete the following sentence "I will be happy when…" as many times as you can. Now throw that piece of paper away, get a new piece of paper and write in big red letters "I can and will be happy RIGHT NOW!" Then go do something that makes you happy. If you develop the ability to be happy even when life isn't perfect, you will have a great life! Want to share how this article affects you? E-mail me I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails. Or why not join Donna's monthly group coaching to explore this concept some more?
- Reccommended Read -
Journalution by Sandy Grason Have you ever kept a diary? Have you ever kept (or wanted to keep) a diary not just of your day to day life, but to connect with your inner wisdom? If not, and you are interested in accessing your inner wisdom (if you're not, why not?!) by keeping a diary, check out Journalution by Sandy Grason. It's a book about keeping a diary, or journalling - not only ideas on how and when (whatever works for you), also journalling prompts to get you moving. It's a lovely book - Sandy's style is friendly, warm and realistic - she knows life's going to get in the way! I've been working with the journalling prompts for a couple of months, and I am loving the results already - my diary isn't a moan about life anymore, it's a place to dream, to find answers, and to have fun!
Journalution by Sandy Grason
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Passing on your Life's Wisdom
What is the most important thing you have learnt about life so far?
If you could teach a child just one lesson you wish you had learnt earlier, what would you teach?
Mine would be "it's ok to be who you really are. It is safe to be yourself."
Whatever the lesson is that you would teach, have you learnt it? Really learnt it, internalised it and live that truth? I noticed the other day that once again I was trying to be something other than myself...and it hurt! It is said that you teach what you most need to learn, so take this lesson that you would teach and do whatever you need to do to truly live this - the best way to teach is by example!
Love
Donna.x
PS no negative lessons please - no 'life's a bitch' lessons! You can do better than that!
If you could teach a child just one lesson you wish you had learnt earlier, what would you teach?
Mine would be "it's ok to be who you really are. It is safe to be yourself."
Whatever the lesson is that you would teach, have you learnt it? Really learnt it, internalised it and live that truth? I noticed the other day that once again I was trying to be something other than myself...and it hurt! It is said that you teach what you most need to learn, so take this lesson that you would teach and do whatever you need to do to truly live this - the best way to teach is by example!
Love
Donna.x
PS no negative lessons please - no 'life's a bitch' lessons! You can do better than that!
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Follow Your Heart
If you could be doing anything in the world right now, what would you love to do?
What makes your heart sing?
What do the stirrings of your heart whisper for you to do with your life?
Could you start to follow your heart right now?
You don't have to do something huge and scary to follow your heart, you can just do something small, every day that follows the stirrings of your heart.
Before you know it, you have a happy life, a joyful life, the life your heart desired.
Start today.
Right now.
Love
Donna.x
What makes your heart sing?
What do the stirrings of your heart whisper for you to do with your life?
Could you start to follow your heart right now?
You don't have to do something huge and scary to follow your heart, you can just do something small, every day that follows the stirrings of your heart.
Before you know it, you have a happy life, a joyful life, the life your heart desired.
Start today.
Right now.
Love
Donna.x
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Strong Misery Muscles
How much time do you spend making life better? How much time do you spend appreciating how good you have it? How much time do you spend laughing, getting excited, being happy? Is it enough? Conversely, how much time do you spend making life worse? How much time do you spend bemoaning how bad you have it? How much time do you spend crying, getting stressed, being miserable? Is that enough?
Have you had enough of being dissatisfied with your lot? Do you want to see your life get better? Would you believe it's your choice? Will I ever stop asking questions? Yes? I'm guessing that if you spend a lot of time on how terrible life is, you won't have much time left for laughter, play, fun, joy, love, freedom, excitement, appreciation, gratitude, and wonder.
And that is your choice. I was chatting to a friend yesterday, and saying that I have stopped (largely) getting stressed out about money and such. How? By withdrawing my attention from worrying and stressing. It's a choice. I made this choice because over the last 35 years, worrying has NEVER helped me to get more money or deal with a situation. Complaining has NEVER made a situation better. Fear NEVER helps me to find a creative solution.
I haven't yet had to live on the street, so I'm doing ok! It's all good. So, I'm putting my time and effort into being grateful, having fun, enjoying life. As is so often the case, this is a simple concept that isn't always easy to put into practice. So to start with, it's enough just to notice that you are choosing to spend more time in worry than in laughter (by the way, laughter costs nothing, whereas worry costs your health).
Pretty soon, you will make a new choice. And this gets easier and easier with practice. Our worry, stress, misery muscles are well developed and fed with the steroid of misery news, so it's really easy to use them. But maybe your laughter, joy and fun muscles are flabby from lack of use?! The answer is simple: choose to tone them up. Make the effort to have some fun this week - trust me, life looks a lot better when you're bouncing on a trampoline or standing on your hands. :p
- Something To Play With -
What ratio of time do you spend on misery:joy? Eg 90% misery, 10% joy. Are you ok with that ratio? Notice this week how many times you choose the dark side over the light. Want to share how this article affects you? E-mail meI love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails. Or why not join Donna's monthly group coaching to explore this concept some more?
- The Personal Bit -
When you read this, I will be covered from head to foot in chocolate and probably feeling very sick! I foolishly gave up chocolate for Lent - I was going to give up coffee, but as I don't drink it, decided that was cheating! It hasn't bothered me up until the last two weeks, and I am now drooling like Homer Simpson at the very thought. But Easter Sunday cometh…Hoorah! I have my Easter Eggs at the ready, steady…CHOCOLATE! Happy Easter!
Have you had enough of being dissatisfied with your lot? Do you want to see your life get better? Would you believe it's your choice? Will I ever stop asking questions? Yes? I'm guessing that if you spend a lot of time on how terrible life is, you won't have much time left for laughter, play, fun, joy, love, freedom, excitement, appreciation, gratitude, and wonder.
And that is your choice. I was chatting to a friend yesterday, and saying that I have stopped (largely) getting stressed out about money and such. How? By withdrawing my attention from worrying and stressing. It's a choice. I made this choice because over the last 35 years, worrying has NEVER helped me to get more money or deal with a situation. Complaining has NEVER made a situation better. Fear NEVER helps me to find a creative solution.
I haven't yet had to live on the street, so I'm doing ok! It's all good. So, I'm putting my time and effort into being grateful, having fun, enjoying life. As is so often the case, this is a simple concept that isn't always easy to put into practice. So to start with, it's enough just to notice that you are choosing to spend more time in worry than in laughter (by the way, laughter costs nothing, whereas worry costs your health).
Pretty soon, you will make a new choice. And this gets easier and easier with practice. Our worry, stress, misery muscles are well developed and fed with the steroid of misery news, so it's really easy to use them. But maybe your laughter, joy and fun muscles are flabby from lack of use?! The answer is simple: choose to tone them up. Make the effort to have some fun this week - trust me, life looks a lot better when you're bouncing on a trampoline or standing on your hands. :p
- Something To Play With -
What ratio of time do you spend on misery:joy? Eg 90% misery, 10% joy. Are you ok with that ratio? Notice this week how many times you choose the dark side over the light. Want to share how this article affects you? E-mail meI love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails. Or why not join Donna's monthly group coaching to explore this concept some more?
- The Personal Bit -
When you read this, I will be covered from head to foot in chocolate and probably feeling very sick! I foolishly gave up chocolate for Lent - I was going to give up coffee, but as I don't drink it, decided that was cheating! It hasn't bothered me up until the last two weeks, and I am now drooling like Homer Simpson at the very thought. But Easter Sunday cometh…Hoorah! I have my Easter Eggs at the ready, steady…CHOCOLATE! Happy Easter!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
When Life Seems Jolly Rotten...
...there's something you've forgotten. And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing. (good old Monty Python)
When any situation in your life seems 'bad', what are you looking at? The cost, in time, money, energy? All the reasons that this is 'bad'? What if you were to actively seek the blessings in any situation? Think of a situation you are seeing as 'bad'. Now think of 10 blessings in this situation.
One of the most inspiring stories I ever heard was of a woman who lost her job, her husband, and discovered she had cancer, all in the space of a week! Her reaction? "I will have plenty of time to focus on getting well, and there will be no dirty socks to pick up!"
There is a bright side if you will only look for it.
Love
Donna.x
When any situation in your life seems 'bad', what are you looking at? The cost, in time, money, energy? All the reasons that this is 'bad'? What if you were to actively seek the blessings in any situation? Think of a situation you are seeing as 'bad'. Now think of 10 blessings in this situation.
One of the most inspiring stories I ever heard was of a woman who lost her job, her husband, and discovered she had cancer, all in the space of a week! Her reaction? "I will have plenty of time to focus on getting well, and there will be no dirty socks to pick up!"
There is a bright side if you will only look for it.
Love
Donna.x
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
The Power of Write
Have you recently utilised the therapeutic power of writing? Have you connected with your inner guidance by recording your thoughts? Have you given your creative self free rein by writing your ideas and passions?
If not, and you like to write, you may be denying yourself a wonderful pleasure! (If you hate writing, please ignore this blog post - I don't want you to do something you don't like to do!) I love to write - I write blogs, books, newsletters, courses, diaries, gratitude journals, letters...and the more I write, the more I realise that writing has a power.
The written word has the power to change your world, to transport you to a new world, and even to change the world of the reader. Wow.
So are you using the power of write?
Love
Donna.x
If not, and you like to write, you may be denying yourself a wonderful pleasure! (If you hate writing, please ignore this blog post - I don't want you to do something you don't like to do!) I love to write - I write blogs, books, newsletters, courses, diaries, gratitude journals, letters...and the more I write, the more I realise that writing has a power.
The written word has the power to change your world, to transport you to a new world, and even to change the world of the reader. Wow.
So are you using the power of write?
Love
Donna.x
Everyone Is
- Everyone Is -
Do you ever feel slightly isolated, a bit weird, like you are the only person in the world who thinks the way you do? Me too! Do you ever feel like you are the only person in the world who struggles, has doubts, wonders if they are ‘getting it right’? Me too! Do you ever think that you are the only one who has a little self-doubting voice in your head? Wow, me too! In fact, I’d be willing to bet that the majority of people reading this have felt that way at one time or another. Everyone has doubts. Everyone has moments where they think they are the only people in the world who think or feel the way they do. And the great tragedy is that they are rarely right!
There is someone else out there who has felt, or thought exactly the same doubting, uncertainty, weirdness! A few years ago I was convinced that I was weird – and I didn’t consider it a good thing. This caused me many a moment of navel-gazing, upset and even depression. And then I met some people who were brave enough to say ‘hey! Me too!’. What an ‘aha’ moment for me - I realised that even the most confident people feel uncertain at times, even the most driven of people have moments of doubt, and even the most successful people feel like a failure. They just hid it well. For years, I genuinely could not accept myself because I thought I was mad – that no one else had the thoughts I had.
Realising that I was not alone was a turning point for me. If the people I respected and aspired to emulate had ‘weird’ thoughts, then so could I. If people I considered successful had moments of doubt, then so could I. And what’s more, if these people thought and felt this way and were still happy and successful, so could I be. Not only do we as a society hold up stick people as beautiful, we also hold up automatons as ‘normal’, and then we individually wonder why we have such ‘odd’ feelings and thoughts. It makes me want to scream. Here’s the thing – if you sometimes feel you’re a bit unusual, that’s normal! Normality is feeling and thinking and sometimes doubting.
I have come to terms with the fact that I am slightly odd, and I now consider it a very good thing that I think and feel the way I do – because that is just perfect for me. Who the hell wants to be an automaton?!
- Something To Play With -
If you knew that you are not a total oddball, that you are not "wierd", that you are not alone in having the thoughts and feelings that you have, what would change for you? Want to share how this article affects you? E-mail meI love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails. Or why not join Donna's monthly group coaching to explore this concept some more?
- The Personal Bit -
This week I am repeating an article from way back in 2005; I hope you enjoy it. The reason I have been so lax and not created something new? Because this week ran away from me! Ever had that? When you think you have plenty of time to do everything, then before you know it its quarter to ten on Saturday night and you're wondering what happened to the week? Other than the fact that I seem to have lost a couple of days somewhere, it's been a good week. I learned how to play a nintendo wii, realised how rusty my pool skills are, and had an angel reading! Happy St Patrick's Day to one and all. xx
Do you ever feel slightly isolated, a bit weird, like you are the only person in the world who thinks the way you do? Me too! Do you ever feel like you are the only person in the world who struggles, has doubts, wonders if they are ‘getting it right’? Me too! Do you ever think that you are the only one who has a little self-doubting voice in your head? Wow, me too! In fact, I’d be willing to bet that the majority of people reading this have felt that way at one time or another. Everyone has doubts. Everyone has moments where they think they are the only people in the world who think or feel the way they do. And the great tragedy is that they are rarely right!
There is someone else out there who has felt, or thought exactly the same doubting, uncertainty, weirdness! A few years ago I was convinced that I was weird – and I didn’t consider it a good thing. This caused me many a moment of navel-gazing, upset and even depression. And then I met some people who were brave enough to say ‘hey! Me too!’. What an ‘aha’ moment for me - I realised that even the most confident people feel uncertain at times, even the most driven of people have moments of doubt, and even the most successful people feel like a failure. They just hid it well. For years, I genuinely could not accept myself because I thought I was mad – that no one else had the thoughts I had.
Realising that I was not alone was a turning point for me. If the people I respected and aspired to emulate had ‘weird’ thoughts, then so could I. If people I considered successful had moments of doubt, then so could I. And what’s more, if these people thought and felt this way and were still happy and successful, so could I be. Not only do we as a society hold up stick people as beautiful, we also hold up automatons as ‘normal’, and then we individually wonder why we have such ‘odd’ feelings and thoughts. It makes me want to scream. Here’s the thing – if you sometimes feel you’re a bit unusual, that’s normal! Normality is feeling and thinking and sometimes doubting.
I have come to terms with the fact that I am slightly odd, and I now consider it a very good thing that I think and feel the way I do – because that is just perfect for me. Who the hell wants to be an automaton?!
- Something To Play With -
If you knew that you are not a total oddball, that you are not "wierd", that you are not alone in having the thoughts and feelings that you have, what would change for you? Want to share how this article affects you? E-mail meI love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails. Or why not join Donna's monthly group coaching to explore this concept some more?
- The Personal Bit -
This week I am repeating an article from way back in 2005; I hope you enjoy it. The reason I have been so lax and not created something new? Because this week ran away from me! Ever had that? When you think you have plenty of time to do everything, then before you know it its quarter to ten on Saturday night and you're wondering what happened to the week? Other than the fact that I seem to have lost a couple of days somewhere, it's been a good week. I learned how to play a nintendo wii, realised how rusty my pool skills are, and had an angel reading! Happy St Patrick's Day to one and all. xx
Friday, March 14, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
What does life want from me?
Most of us ask what we want from life...with varying success! Sometimes this perspective brings great joy, and sometimes it brings great disatisfaction. What if 'what do I want from life' was the wrong question?
What if the question was 'what does life want from me'?
What might change?
I was pondering this, and I realised that life wants me to live joyfully, not sit at my desk 'forcing myself' to work. Just realising this freed me up to enjoy my procrastination!
Love
Donna.x
PS This question came from Eckhart Tolle
What if the question was 'what does life want from me'?
What might change?
I was pondering this, and I realised that life wants me to live joyfully, not sit at my desk 'forcing myself' to work. Just realising this freed me up to enjoy my procrastination!
Love
Donna.x
PS This question came from Eckhart Tolle
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