OnTheBeach - I Am Where I Am and Where I Am Needs No Excuses

- I am where I am and where I am needs no excuses -

My apologies for both stealing and changing the words of a well known cheesy choon. It's usually 'I am what I am' but today I want to talk about where you am. Where you are in your life specifically. I suspect that wherever you are, you'd quite like to be somewhere else - relationship wise, career wise, even geographically. That's natural, it's normal because part of what makes us human is our desire to grow, evolve and change.

Trouble is that because you'd quite like to be somewhere else, where you are now gets a bad rap. We often think that life will be better when we're richer, thinner, live somewhere else, have more stuff or more power…but often all that changes is that we get a bit richer, thinner, live somewhere else, have more stuff or more power. Somehow life doesn't get better. So when we are unhappy, we believe that where we are is to blame in some way.

Now don't get me wrong, I am not advocating staying put in a rubbish situation. But I do advocate being at peace with where you are, even enjoying where you are to whatever extent you can. Why? Well, first of all you are where you are in life…and you'll likely be there for the next few minutes at least - maybe even the next few days, weeks or months. So why not find a way to let it be ok to be where you are? You've got to be there anyway! Resisting reality is a sign of insanity - it drives you crazy! That resistance is a BIG part of why you feel so bad. Stop fighting the reality of where you are right now.

Secondly, where you are is part of your journey - if you are not totally loving where you are right now, it is helping you to get more clarity about where you'd like to be. This is a VERY GOOD THING! Most of us look at this contrast between what we want and what we have and get depressed, but actually if you didn't have 'this' how would you know you want 'that'? For example, every rubbish relationship you ever had brings you to a closer understanding of what you really want in a partner, and this experience helps you sort the wheat from the chaff.

Thirdly, contrary to popular belief, bemoaning, criticizing and denouncing where we are does not help us to move on. It actually undermines our confidence, keeps us stuck and makes the situation even worse! Years ago I was in a job I hated and I wanted to leave for 3 years…but when I came to terms with the fact that for now, I was there and I needed to start making the best of it, I decided to leave. Within a month! If you're feeling ok with where you are, you're in a great position to move with ease to the next phase of your life - and worse case scenario, you are where you are and that's ok!


- Something To Play With -

Think about a situation in your life that you'd like to change. Now find 5 things about that situation that are actually good. Now find 5 more. Keep doing this for a few weeks and notice how your resistance lowers and your confidence rises. Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.