Friday, August 22, 2008
MIA
Hello lovely readers!!! I am sorry, I have been missing in action a lot this month - just busy busy busy! A million and one ideas which never got made into blog posts...what a waste!!
The big highlight this week was the V festival in Staffs - Mud, Music, Rain, Sunshine, Mud, more Music and temperatures November would be proud of - BRILLIANT! It's wonderful when you can get into a situation where you are purely in the moment, oblivious of past, future, worries and stresses. And I was fully in that place during the headline act - Muse - totally present.
So present in fact that I lost my voice entirely! So when was the last time that you enjoyed being totally present and in the moment? Or are you too busy worrying about the past or the future? Put yourself in a situation where you can just be in that moment...you don't have to have the mud and the rain if you don't want to!
Love
Donna.x
The big highlight this week was the V festival in Staffs - Mud, Music, Rain, Sunshine, Mud, more Music and temperatures November would be proud of - BRILLIANT! It's wonderful when you can get into a situation where you are purely in the moment, oblivious of past, future, worries and stresses. And I was fully in that place during the headline act - Muse - totally present.
So present in fact that I lost my voice entirely! So when was the last time that you enjoyed being totally present and in the moment? Or are you too busy worrying about the past or the future? Put yourself in a situation where you can just be in that moment...you don't have to have the mud and the rain if you don't want to!
Love
Donna.x
OnTheBeach - You Should Do This Challenge
- A note from Donna -
As you read this, I will most likely be asleep - even if it's afternoon in the UK - yes, I am that lazy…but I have a good reason this time. Yesterday (if you're reading this on Monday) I went to the V festival! I am so ridiculously excited about this - my favourite band are headlining, and I haven't done the festival thing for a couple of years so the anticipation is HUGE! I do remember from years gone by though that even one day at a festival requires a massive lie in. So that's what I'm probably doing…maybe I should get up and work, it being Monday…but I am SO not doing that! Hazah!
- You Should Do This Challenge -
What should you be doing? Instead of reading this? Instead of relaxing? Instead of having a nice weekend? Instead of enjoying your life? Possible answers: working; doing chores; visiting family; making things happen. "Should" really is a cruel word. It manages to make you feel guilty, lazy, unsuccessful, and bad about yourself in just 6 letters. It's quite an achievement actually how bad "should" can make you feel, without trying.
Of course, it isn't the word's fault, it is the way we wield a 'should' - we use it as a weapon against ourselves. Try it - think of 5 things you should be doing or have done. Feel good about any of them? No, thought not. In fairness, as a weapon to make yourself feel like shit, it is enormously effective. But I'm guessing that as you're reading this newsletter, feeling like shit isn't high on your list of priorities?
If it is…what are you thinking??? I've long thought that in place of "I should" should be "I should but I'm not gonna" because most of the time shoulds are made up of things you don't want to do. After all, if you wanted to do them, you would be! There would be no need to should on yourself. You may be getting the sense from this that I am not a big fan of the word 'should'!
I don't mind it in some uses, but when it is used by someone to beat themselves up over what they have not done (and probably will not do), it drives me into a furious frenzy. It is not motivating to go through a list of all the things you 'should' do; it is never good when 'I should be doing the ironing instead of healing' is the main thought in someone's mind; and it is tragic when someone uses a should to stop themselves enjoying their life.
Please, for me, just for this week, don't use "I should"…replace it with "I want to" and enjoy your life. Life's too short to make it 'shouldy'.
- Something To Play With -
Your challenge this week is to erase the phrase "I should" from your vocabulary. Every time you catch yourself saying it (and if you're like my clients, this could be a hundred times a day!!), stop and replace it with "I want…" For example "I should be working" "I want to go and enjoy the sunshine" or "I should be doing chores" "I want to go to the pictures". The world won't end…and you might even enjoy yourself! Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
As you read this, I will most likely be asleep - even if it's afternoon in the UK - yes, I am that lazy…but I have a good reason this time. Yesterday (if you're reading this on Monday) I went to the V festival! I am so ridiculously excited about this - my favourite band are headlining, and I haven't done the festival thing for a couple of years so the anticipation is HUGE! I do remember from years gone by though that even one day at a festival requires a massive lie in. So that's what I'm probably doing…maybe I should get up and work, it being Monday…but I am SO not doing that! Hazah!
- You Should Do This Challenge -
What should you be doing? Instead of reading this? Instead of relaxing? Instead of having a nice weekend? Instead of enjoying your life? Possible answers: working; doing chores; visiting family; making things happen. "Should" really is a cruel word. It manages to make you feel guilty, lazy, unsuccessful, and bad about yourself in just 6 letters. It's quite an achievement actually how bad "should" can make you feel, without trying.
Of course, it isn't the word's fault, it is the way we wield a 'should' - we use it as a weapon against ourselves. Try it - think of 5 things you should be doing or have done. Feel good about any of them? No, thought not. In fairness, as a weapon to make yourself feel like shit, it is enormously effective. But I'm guessing that as you're reading this newsletter, feeling like shit isn't high on your list of priorities?
If it is…what are you thinking??? I've long thought that in place of "I should" should be "I should but I'm not gonna" because most of the time shoulds are made up of things you don't want to do. After all, if you wanted to do them, you would be! There would be no need to should on yourself. You may be getting the sense from this that I am not a big fan of the word 'should'!
I don't mind it in some uses, but when it is used by someone to beat themselves up over what they have not done (and probably will not do), it drives me into a furious frenzy. It is not motivating to go through a list of all the things you 'should' do; it is never good when 'I should be doing the ironing instead of healing' is the main thought in someone's mind; and it is tragic when someone uses a should to stop themselves enjoying their life.
Please, for me, just for this week, don't use "I should"…replace it with "I want to" and enjoy your life. Life's too short to make it 'shouldy'.
- Something To Play With -
Your challenge this week is to erase the phrase "I should" from your vocabulary. Every time you catch yourself saying it (and if you're like my clients, this could be a hundred times a day!!), stop and replace it with "I want…" For example "I should be working" "I want to go and enjoy the sunshine" or "I should be doing chores" "I want to go to the pictures". The world won't end…and you might even enjoy yourself! Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
OnTheBeach - Bitch Slapping vs Back Slapping
- A note from Donna -
Due to an exhilarating mix of work, procrastination, memory-loss and long lazy lunches, I am writing this on a Saturday night in the ad breaks between NCIS! It's fortunate that I have so much practice writing these newsletters quite quickly and that the ad breaks are so long! Not long enough for me to write an epic, so this week's a half cup. Enjoy!
- Bitch-Slapping Versus Back-Slapping -
So when was the last time you praised yourself? When did you last shout about your achievements? When did you last give yourself a big slap on the back for a job or a life well done? Seriously, when was the last time? And when was the last time you gave yourself grief for getting something wrong? When was the last time you put yourself down? When was the last time you were mean to yourself? Seriously, when was the last time? You don't even have to have done it out loud to someone else - inside your head counts too.
I'm guessing that you did the last one more recently than you did the first. Particularly in Britain, we are enormously good at self-deprecation. It's a skill! We hate to be seen as arrogant, so we go far too far the other way into the underworld of self-deprecation. Like most skills though, the self-deprecation skills can be transferred. What if you were to use those skills of observation, clarification, exaggeration and repetition to back-slap yourself rather than bitch-slap yourself?
What are you good at? What are you proud of? What did you do well? What are your best qualities? Instead of replaying the record which tells you what you're crap at, what you're ashamed of, what you did badly, your worst qualities, change the record and give yourself some credit for once. You're worth it!
- Something To Play With -
Big up yo'self this week - you don't have to become an arrogant arse, in fact, you don't have to tell anyone else at all. But I do want you to increase your self-belief by talking yourself up - just in your own head will work just fine. Stop hiding your light under the proverbial bushel, and start shining. Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
Due to an exhilarating mix of work, procrastination, memory-loss and long lazy lunches, I am writing this on a Saturday night in the ad breaks between NCIS! It's fortunate that I have so much practice writing these newsletters quite quickly and that the ad breaks are so long! Not long enough for me to write an epic, so this week's a half cup. Enjoy!
- Bitch-Slapping Versus Back-Slapping -
So when was the last time you praised yourself? When did you last shout about your achievements? When did you last give yourself a big slap on the back for a job or a life well done? Seriously, when was the last time? And when was the last time you gave yourself grief for getting something wrong? When was the last time you put yourself down? When was the last time you were mean to yourself? Seriously, when was the last time? You don't even have to have done it out loud to someone else - inside your head counts too.
I'm guessing that you did the last one more recently than you did the first. Particularly in Britain, we are enormously good at self-deprecation. It's a skill! We hate to be seen as arrogant, so we go far too far the other way into the underworld of self-deprecation. Like most skills though, the self-deprecation skills can be transferred. What if you were to use those skills of observation, clarification, exaggeration and repetition to back-slap yourself rather than bitch-slap yourself?
What are you good at? What are you proud of? What did you do well? What are your best qualities? Instead of replaying the record which tells you what you're crap at, what you're ashamed of, what you did badly, your worst qualities, change the record and give yourself some credit for once. You're worth it!
- Something To Play With -
Big up yo'self this week - you don't have to become an arrogant arse, in fact, you don't have to tell anyone else at all. But I do want you to increase your self-belief by talking yourself up - just in your own head will work just fine. Stop hiding your light under the proverbial bushel, and start shining. Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
Monday, August 04, 2008
Don't Let the B's Grind You Down
My parents have a saying "Don't let the b*stards grind you down" - and there are times when this is the most pertinent advice that can be given! Because this is exactly what happens if you're not vigilant - years and years of criticism, minor annoyances and unsupportiveness can just grind down your good humour and confidence. Don't let the b*stards grind you down.
How do you stop them??? Well, trying to stop anyone else doing anything is an exercise in futility! So here's what you can do: don't take it on. Don't give away your power to someone else. Don't allow other people to put you down. They can say the words, but if you don't listen, those words have no power alone. Words can be like acid, corroding and eating away at you…but not if you don't take it on.
Put it this way, if someone called you a blueberry, how much would you take that on board? How much would you allow that to hurt you? How much would you repeat it and keep hurting yourself with it? I am hoping you are saying 'not at all'!! But if they call you 'stupid' or they criticise you or are unsupportive, that's exactly what we do - we take it as gospel, we allow ourselves to be hurt by it, we repeat it to ourselves and others and pick the scab off the hurt so much that we are scarred by it.
Funnily enough, when we get a compliment, we don't give that the same amount of energy and care! Interesting how we're more prepared to think the worst of ourselves eh? Anyway, we're talking about not letting the b*stards grind you down. Here's what I do when faced with an insult, a criticism, an annoyance, "feedback": I look at it objectively (once I've calmed down if it riled me!) and try to see their point of view. If they have a point, I take it as welcome help to improve - then I let it go. If they don't, I just let it go.
Notice that I do get riled (oh my god, I'm HUMAN! Shock horror) - but I don't give them the power to ruin my whole life! It is just a point of view, just a moment in time, just something given (often thoughtlessly). One person telling you that you are wrong does not make you wrong 100% of the time! So stop taking on this stuff - know yourself better, have confidence in yourself, and instead of repeating the bad stuff, repeat this like a mantra: I know that you are amazing, intelligent, worthy, wonderful and a really good laugh. Don't let anyone tell you different!
- Something To Play With -
Notice what you do when someone annoys, criticises or insults you. Do you shrug it off and move on? Or do you chew over old soup until you make yourself sick on it?? For this week, experiment with only repeating to yourself the nice things people have said to you - keep chewing them over, you'll find they taste a lot better! Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
How do you stop them??? Well, trying to stop anyone else doing anything is an exercise in futility! So here's what you can do: don't take it on. Don't give away your power to someone else. Don't allow other people to put you down. They can say the words, but if you don't listen, those words have no power alone. Words can be like acid, corroding and eating away at you…but not if you don't take it on.
Put it this way, if someone called you a blueberry, how much would you take that on board? How much would you allow that to hurt you? How much would you repeat it and keep hurting yourself with it? I am hoping you are saying 'not at all'!! But if they call you 'stupid' or they criticise you or are unsupportive, that's exactly what we do - we take it as gospel, we allow ourselves to be hurt by it, we repeat it to ourselves and others and pick the scab off the hurt so much that we are scarred by it.
Funnily enough, when we get a compliment, we don't give that the same amount of energy and care! Interesting how we're more prepared to think the worst of ourselves eh? Anyway, we're talking about not letting the b*stards grind you down. Here's what I do when faced with an insult, a criticism, an annoyance, "feedback": I look at it objectively (once I've calmed down if it riled me!) and try to see their point of view. If they have a point, I take it as welcome help to improve - then I let it go. If they don't, I just let it go.
Notice that I do get riled (oh my god, I'm HUMAN! Shock horror) - but I don't give them the power to ruin my whole life! It is just a point of view, just a moment in time, just something given (often thoughtlessly). One person telling you that you are wrong does not make you wrong 100% of the time! So stop taking on this stuff - know yourself better, have confidence in yourself, and instead of repeating the bad stuff, repeat this like a mantra: I know that you are amazing, intelligent, worthy, wonderful and a really good laugh. Don't let anyone tell you different!
- Something To Play With -
Notice what you do when someone annoys, criticises or insults you. Do you shrug it off and move on? Or do you chew over old soup until you make yourself sick on it?? For this week, experiment with only repeating to yourself the nice things people have said to you - keep chewing them over, you'll find they taste a lot better! Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Museums of poverty
"One day our grandchildren will go to museums to see what poverty was like."
-- Muhammad Yunus
founder of the Grameen Bank & 2006 Nobel Peace Prize Laureate
In an e-mail from Rebecca Fine of www.scienceofgettingrich.com I received this quote. Isn't that the most wonderful idea? That our granchildren would not be able to see poverty in the world, that they'd be able to learn about it only by reading and seeing historical images! Do you believe in the possibility of a better world? Is that what you want? Is that what you are working towards?
Believe that little old you can't make a difference? Here's another quote for you: “If you think you're too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.” Betty Reese (American officer and pilot) There are billions of people on this planet - if even a small (millions) proportion of them are working toward this future, it can't help but happen! Are you pulling with us?
Peace, abudance and love to you
Donna.x
-- Muhammad Yunus
founder of the Grameen Bank & 2006 Nobel Peace Prize Laureate
In an e-mail from Rebecca Fine of www.scienceofgettingrich.com I received this quote. Isn't that the most wonderful idea? That our granchildren would not be able to see poverty in the world, that they'd be able to learn about it only by reading and seeing historical images! Do you believe in the possibility of a better world? Is that what you want? Is that what you are working towards?
Believe that little old you can't make a difference? Here's another quote for you: “If you think you're too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.” Betty Reese (American officer and pilot) There are billions of people on this planet - if even a small (millions) proportion of them are working toward this future, it can't help but happen! Are you pulling with us?
Peace, abudance and love to you
Donna.x
Monday, July 28, 2008
OnTheBeach - I Am Where I Am and Where I Am Needs No Excuses
- I am where I am and where I am needs no excuses -
My apologies for both stealing and changing the words of a well known cheesy choon. It's usually 'I am what I am' but today I want to talk about where you am. Where you are in your life specifically. I suspect that wherever you are, you'd quite like to be somewhere else - relationship wise, career wise, even geographically. That's natural, it's normal because part of what makes us human is our desire to grow, evolve and change.
Trouble is that because you'd quite like to be somewhere else, where you are now gets a bad rap. We often think that life will be better when we're richer, thinner, live somewhere else, have more stuff or more power…but often all that changes is that we get a bit richer, thinner, live somewhere else, have more stuff or more power. Somehow life doesn't get better. So when we are unhappy, we believe that where we are is to blame in some way.
Now don't get me wrong, I am not advocating staying put in a rubbish situation. But I do advocate being at peace with where you are, even enjoying where you are to whatever extent you can. Why? Well, first of all you are where you are in life…and you'll likely be there for the next few minutes at least - maybe even the next few days, weeks or months. So why not find a way to let it be ok to be where you are? You've got to be there anyway! Resisting reality is a sign of insanity - it drives you crazy! That resistance is a BIG part of why you feel so bad. Stop fighting the reality of where you are right now.
Secondly, where you are is part of your journey - if you are not totally loving where you are right now, it is helping you to get more clarity about where you'd like to be. This is a VERY GOOD THING! Most of us look at this contrast between what we want and what we have and get depressed, but actually if you didn't have 'this' how would you know you want 'that'? For example, every rubbish relationship you ever had brings you to a closer understanding of what you really want in a partner, and this experience helps you sort the wheat from the chaff.
Thirdly, contrary to popular belief, bemoaning, criticizing and denouncing where we are does not help us to move on. It actually undermines our confidence, keeps us stuck and makes the situation even worse! Years ago I was in a job I hated and I wanted to leave for 3 years…but when I came to terms with the fact that for now, I was there and I needed to start making the best of it, I decided to leave. Within a month! If you're feeling ok with where you are, you're in a great position to move with ease to the next phase of your life - and worse case scenario, you are where you are and that's ok!
- Something To Play With -
Think about a situation in your life that you'd like to change. Now find 5 things about that situation that are actually good. Now find 5 more. Keep doing this for a few weeks and notice how your resistance lowers and your confidence rises. Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
My apologies for both stealing and changing the words of a well known cheesy choon. It's usually 'I am what I am' but today I want to talk about where you am. Where you are in your life specifically. I suspect that wherever you are, you'd quite like to be somewhere else - relationship wise, career wise, even geographically. That's natural, it's normal because part of what makes us human is our desire to grow, evolve and change.
Trouble is that because you'd quite like to be somewhere else, where you are now gets a bad rap. We often think that life will be better when we're richer, thinner, live somewhere else, have more stuff or more power…but often all that changes is that we get a bit richer, thinner, live somewhere else, have more stuff or more power. Somehow life doesn't get better. So when we are unhappy, we believe that where we are is to blame in some way.
Now don't get me wrong, I am not advocating staying put in a rubbish situation. But I do advocate being at peace with where you are, even enjoying where you are to whatever extent you can. Why? Well, first of all you are where you are in life…and you'll likely be there for the next few minutes at least - maybe even the next few days, weeks or months. So why not find a way to let it be ok to be where you are? You've got to be there anyway! Resisting reality is a sign of insanity - it drives you crazy! That resistance is a BIG part of why you feel so bad. Stop fighting the reality of where you are right now.
Secondly, where you are is part of your journey - if you are not totally loving where you are right now, it is helping you to get more clarity about where you'd like to be. This is a VERY GOOD THING! Most of us look at this contrast between what we want and what we have and get depressed, but actually if you didn't have 'this' how would you know you want 'that'? For example, every rubbish relationship you ever had brings you to a closer understanding of what you really want in a partner, and this experience helps you sort the wheat from the chaff.
Thirdly, contrary to popular belief, bemoaning, criticizing and denouncing where we are does not help us to move on. It actually undermines our confidence, keeps us stuck and makes the situation even worse! Years ago I was in a job I hated and I wanted to leave for 3 years…but when I came to terms with the fact that for now, I was there and I needed to start making the best of it, I decided to leave. Within a month! If you're feeling ok with where you are, you're in a great position to move with ease to the next phase of your life - and worse case scenario, you are where you are and that's ok!
- Something To Play With -
Think about a situation in your life that you'd like to change. Now find 5 things about that situation that are actually good. Now find 5 more. Keep doing this for a few weeks and notice how your resistance lowers and your confidence rises. Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Covering Your Ass
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.
Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
Enough of that crap . . The donkey later came back, and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him.
The gash from the bite got infected and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.
MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:
When you do something wrong, and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.
Lol.
Donna.x
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.
Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
Enough of that crap . . The donkey later came back, and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him.
The gash from the bite got infected and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.
MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:
When you do something wrong, and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.
Lol.
Donna.x
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Do it Anyway
I watched this video this morning and it gave me the shivers, so I wanted to share it with you!
Love
Donna.x
Love
Donna.x
Monday, July 21, 2008
OnTheBeach - Don't it Make you Feel Good
What was the last piece of 'advice' you were given? Was it to get out more, to work harder, to go on a diet, to sort yourself out, to be more focused? We're all surrounded by well-meaning people who give us advice, sometimes asked for, sometimes unasked. A lot of advice is useful, relevant and helpful. Sadly, some advice is just painful! I have a plan for dealing with advice - if the thought of taking the advice makes me feel good, I take it.
If it doesn't - if it makes me feel 'bad', I don't take it - no matter how logical it seems, or how appropriate. You see, there is no right or wrong when it comes to advice - only the person hearing the advice can know whether it feels good for them. Believe it or not, you are the expert on you! You are the only person in the wide world that can possibly know what is best for you…even if (gasp!) it goes against ALL advice.
When I started my own business, I got lots of advice…most of it unwanted, a lot of it irrelevant and useless, and some downright bizarre. For years, I would listen to this advice, take it on board, sometimes even take action on it - even though it just made me feel bad. I felt bad because I didn't want to do what they said, I felt bad because I didn't do what they said, but mostly I felt bad because I was listening to advice I had no intention of following!
When someone gives you advice, they can only give it from their perspective of the world - they can't give advice from your perspective because they are not you. And you have the right to ignore their advice without feeling bad about it. Now I'm not dissing advice at all - occasionally people will come up with an absolute gem of advice that will change your life. I just want to make sure that you know how to tell if advice is right for you or not.
This all started because I was talking to a friend about "The Yes Man" - a book written by Danny Wallace where he accepts every invitation sent his way (with occasionally hilarious consequences). My friend said 'you should do that', and at the time I agreed - but then I noticed that I'd started to feel bad about it - on one occasion I could barely keep my eyes open so said no…and felt bad that I'd put sleep before socialising. Insanity. So, make sure the advice you're following makes you feel good…and if it doesn't, why are you following it?
- Something To Play With -
Over the next week, notice the advice you are given. Notice if the idea of following the advice makes you feel good or bad. If you feel 'bad', thank them for the advice, and ignore it. If you feel 'good', take it on with good cheer…and make sure you keep feeling good. Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
If it doesn't - if it makes me feel 'bad', I don't take it - no matter how logical it seems, or how appropriate. You see, there is no right or wrong when it comes to advice - only the person hearing the advice can know whether it feels good for them. Believe it or not, you are the expert on you! You are the only person in the wide world that can possibly know what is best for you…even if (gasp!) it goes against ALL advice.
When I started my own business, I got lots of advice…most of it unwanted, a lot of it irrelevant and useless, and some downright bizarre. For years, I would listen to this advice, take it on board, sometimes even take action on it - even though it just made me feel bad. I felt bad because I didn't want to do what they said, I felt bad because I didn't do what they said, but mostly I felt bad because I was listening to advice I had no intention of following!
When someone gives you advice, they can only give it from their perspective of the world - they can't give advice from your perspective because they are not you. And you have the right to ignore their advice without feeling bad about it. Now I'm not dissing advice at all - occasionally people will come up with an absolute gem of advice that will change your life. I just want to make sure that you know how to tell if advice is right for you or not.
This all started because I was talking to a friend about "The Yes Man" - a book written by Danny Wallace where he accepts every invitation sent his way (with occasionally hilarious consequences). My friend said 'you should do that', and at the time I agreed - but then I noticed that I'd started to feel bad about it - on one occasion I could barely keep my eyes open so said no…and felt bad that I'd put sleep before socialising. Insanity. So, make sure the advice you're following makes you feel good…and if it doesn't, why are you following it?
- Something To Play With -
Over the next week, notice the advice you are given. Notice if the idea of following the advice makes you feel good or bad. If you feel 'bad', thank them for the advice, and ignore it. If you feel 'good', take it on with good cheer…and make sure you keep feeling good. Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
The House of 1000 Mirrors
Long ago in a small, far away village, there was a place known as the House of 1000 Mirrors. A small, happy little dog learned of this place and decided to visit. When he arrived, he bounced happily up the stairs to the doorway of the house. He looked through the doorway with his ears lifted high and his tail wagging as fast as it could. To his great surprise, he found himself staring at 1000 other happy little dogs with their tails wagging just as fast as his. He smiled a great smile, and was answered with 1000 great smiles just as warm and friendly. As he left the house, he thought to himself, "This is a wonderful place. I will come back and visit it often."
In this same village, another little dog, who was not quite as happy as the first one, decided to visit the house. He slowly climbed the stairs and hung his head low as he looked into the door. When he saw the 1000 unfriendly looking dogs staring back at him, he growled at them and was horrified to see 1000 little dogs growling back at him. As he left, he thought to himself, "That is a horrible place, and I will never go back there again."
All the faces in the world are mirrors. What kind of reflections do you see in the faces of the people you meet?
Love
Donna.x
In this same village, another little dog, who was not quite as happy as the first one, decided to visit the house. He slowly climbed the stairs and hung his head low as he looked into the door. When he saw the 1000 unfriendly looking dogs staring back at him, he growled at them and was horrified to see 1000 little dogs growling back at him. As he left, he thought to himself, "That is a horrible place, and I will never go back there again."
All the faces in the world are mirrors. What kind of reflections do you see in the faces of the people you meet?
Love
Donna.x
Monday, July 14, 2008
OnTheBeach - Let's see What you're doing Wrong
- A note from Donna -
Apparently there might be a recession coming in the UK in 3 months time. And there might not. I get really irate with the media, because they sensationalise EVERYTHING, and their stories seem to me designed to frighten people and bring about the very conditions they are scare-mongering about. Guesses about the future of the economy aren't news, they're guesses about the future…funny that they're not getting Mystic Meg to predict the FTSE eh? Bah humbug. As I recall, a recession has been promised every year since the last one, so if you'll forgive me, I'm not going to give an arse just yet.
- Let's see What you're doing Wrong -
So, what did you do wrong today? What did you do wrong this week? Where are you busy cocking up life left, right and centre? Well, if I were to answer these questions, I would say 1. Not writing this at 2 this afternoon cos it's 8 o'clock at night and I just started; 2. I over-reacted about something with my mom, and 3. Well, where do I start????
Ok, no I'm not serious about this. I'm just demonstrating something. If you start to look for what you're doing wrong, you'll find it. Even I, who am utterly magnificent and a wonderful person, can find things I am doing wrong. Easily. And boy, does it make me feel GREAT?! No. No, it doesn't. It feels horrible. So why would we focus so much on what we're doing wrong?
First of all, I think it's a largely unconscious thing - we don't wake up in the morning and say 'hey, I'm going to find all the things I'm doing wrong today and make myself feel like crap'. Well, at least I hope you don't! But unconsciously we are our own worst critic - take all the people who've ever pointed out the error of your ways, multiply them by 10 and you have your inner critic. An expert in telling you why you are useless.
Every part of every body has a positive intention - the intention of your inner critic is usually to motivate you to do better. After all, that's why people have criticised us all our lives - parents, teachers, partners…so that we can do better. Unfortunately it is not particularly motivating to be told what you are doing wrong all the time! So it's a great intention, just a lousy method of achieving the desired aim!
Here's the thing though - most of us are brilliant at finding our weakest points, superb at pointing out our shortcomings, fabulous at making ourselves feel bad. Imagine if we focused on finding our strengths; pointing out our brilliance; and making ourselves feel good? The tools are the same, it's just a slightly different perspective! This new perspective might feel like new shoes for a while - a little odd and not quite comfortable - but soon, you will wake up every morning to the thought "hey, I'm going to find all the things I'm doing right today and make myself feel WONDERFUL!"
- Something To Play With -
Go on, I know you are dying to exercise that inner critic. Come up with 10 things you are doing wrong at the moment. See how easy that was?? Now come up with 20 things you are doing RIGHT (reading this newsletter counts as it is a very wise and caring thing to do for yourself). Every time you notice your inner critic at work, ask him/her to use that razor sharp observation to be your inner cheerleader - pom-poms and all. Ready "Gooooooooooo ME!" Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
Apparently there might be a recession coming in the UK in 3 months time. And there might not. I get really irate with the media, because they sensationalise EVERYTHING, and their stories seem to me designed to frighten people and bring about the very conditions they are scare-mongering about. Guesses about the future of the economy aren't news, they're guesses about the future…funny that they're not getting Mystic Meg to predict the FTSE eh? Bah humbug. As I recall, a recession has been promised every year since the last one, so if you'll forgive me, I'm not going to give an arse just yet.
- Let's see What you're doing Wrong -
So, what did you do wrong today? What did you do wrong this week? Where are you busy cocking up life left, right and centre? Well, if I were to answer these questions, I would say 1. Not writing this at 2 this afternoon cos it's 8 o'clock at night and I just started; 2. I over-reacted about something with my mom, and 3. Well, where do I start????
Ok, no I'm not serious about this. I'm just demonstrating something. If you start to look for what you're doing wrong, you'll find it. Even I, who am utterly magnificent and a wonderful person, can find things I am doing wrong. Easily. And boy, does it make me feel GREAT?! No. No, it doesn't. It feels horrible. So why would we focus so much on what we're doing wrong?
First of all, I think it's a largely unconscious thing - we don't wake up in the morning and say 'hey, I'm going to find all the things I'm doing wrong today and make myself feel like crap'. Well, at least I hope you don't! But unconsciously we are our own worst critic - take all the people who've ever pointed out the error of your ways, multiply them by 10 and you have your inner critic. An expert in telling you why you are useless.
Every part of every body has a positive intention - the intention of your inner critic is usually to motivate you to do better. After all, that's why people have criticised us all our lives - parents, teachers, partners…so that we can do better. Unfortunately it is not particularly motivating to be told what you are doing wrong all the time! So it's a great intention, just a lousy method of achieving the desired aim!
Here's the thing though - most of us are brilliant at finding our weakest points, superb at pointing out our shortcomings, fabulous at making ourselves feel bad. Imagine if we focused on finding our strengths; pointing out our brilliance; and making ourselves feel good? The tools are the same, it's just a slightly different perspective! This new perspective might feel like new shoes for a while - a little odd and not quite comfortable - but soon, you will wake up every morning to the thought "hey, I'm going to find all the things I'm doing right today and make myself feel WONDERFUL!"
- Something To Play With -
Go on, I know you are dying to exercise that inner critic. Come up with 10 things you are doing wrong at the moment. See how easy that was?? Now come up with 20 things you are doing RIGHT (reading this newsletter counts as it is a very wise and caring thing to do for yourself). Every time you notice your inner critic at work, ask him/her to use that razor sharp observation to be your inner cheerleader - pom-poms and all. Ready "Gooooooooooo ME!" Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
Friday, July 11, 2008
OnTheBeach - All is Interconnected
- A note from Donna -
Wondering what I could write in this bit this week, I decided that despite the fact that we're having lots of weather here in the UK, I really couldn't keep embracing the British obsession with the weather and keep talking about it. So I pootled through a few back issues of this fine newsletter to see what else I've been talking about. As it turns out, 90% of the time I talked about the weather! No wonder I felt it was time to move on to another subject. And look, this week I'm talking about me talking about the weather. Sheesh I need some inspiration!! So, if you have any questions you'd like me to answer, send them in...save this section of the newsletter from my obsession with sunshine on a rainy day! Happy Monday one and all. ;-)
- All is Inter-Connected -
As some of you may know, as well as being a coach, writer, speaker and all round amazing person ;-), I also do Onsite Massage. This is a lovely massage technique that's in a special chair and takes just 15 minutes which is ideal for workplaces. No, this isn't a salesletter for this service! (but if you're interested, e-mail me!) Often, people will ask if I can 'just' concentrate on their shoulders or back and leave out the arms and head.
But the thing is, they're all connected. My usual answer is to say I'll do the normal massage routine this time, then next time if they'd rather I concentrate on one area, we'll talk about it again. This never happens. Because what they realise is that the shoulders are MORE relaxed when the neck, head, arms and back are also relaxed. (is anyone else singing 'the neck bone connected to the head bone'?)
And, by bizarre coincidence, this applies to all life. All is inter-connected. If your body is relaxed, your mind is more likely to be relaxed, and vice versa. Does anyone else get woken up in the middle of the night by something, finding yourself bolt upright in bed, body in a state of hyper-awakeness? Your mind quickly catches up…and then your mind is wide awake while your body goes back into relaxation mode…and then the mind catches up again and goes to sleep. Hopefully.
It doesn't always work of course, but it's a good rule of thumb to remember. All is inter-connected. So if you're having a shit time at work, this will inevitably bleed into your relationships and home life. If you are deliriously happy at home, this will feed into your work day. I love it when clients first begin to work with me, they work on one area of their life and suddenly other areas start to improve too - even though they haven't necessarily taken action on them. All is inter-connected.
Within your body, within your life, within your environment even - if everyone round you is miserable, chances are that will rub off on you unless you take steps to protect yourself. Likewise, if you surround yourself with positive, optimistic people, some of their cheeriness will rub off on you…again, unless you take steps to protect yourself! The good news is that now you are aware of this truth that all is interconnected, you can consciously create and nurture connections that improve the quality of your life…and if you work on ANY area of your life, the others will get better too!
- Something To Play With -
So which connections are bringing you down, and which are helping you up? How can you use the truth that all is inter-connected to make your life even more amazing? Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
Wondering what I could write in this bit this week, I decided that despite the fact that we're having lots of weather here in the UK, I really couldn't keep embracing the British obsession with the weather and keep talking about it. So I pootled through a few back issues of this fine newsletter to see what else I've been talking about. As it turns out, 90% of the time I talked about the weather! No wonder I felt it was time to move on to another subject. And look, this week I'm talking about me talking about the weather. Sheesh I need some inspiration!! So, if you have any questions you'd like me to answer, send them in...save this section of the newsletter from my obsession with sunshine on a rainy day! Happy Monday one and all. ;-)
- All is Inter-Connected -
As some of you may know, as well as being a coach, writer, speaker and all round amazing person ;-), I also do Onsite Massage. This is a lovely massage technique that's in a special chair and takes just 15 minutes which is ideal for workplaces. No, this isn't a salesletter for this service! (but if you're interested, e-mail me!) Often, people will ask if I can 'just' concentrate on their shoulders or back and leave out the arms and head.
But the thing is, they're all connected. My usual answer is to say I'll do the normal massage routine this time, then next time if they'd rather I concentrate on one area, we'll talk about it again. This never happens. Because what they realise is that the shoulders are MORE relaxed when the neck, head, arms and back are also relaxed. (is anyone else singing 'the neck bone connected to the head bone'?)
And, by bizarre coincidence, this applies to all life. All is inter-connected. If your body is relaxed, your mind is more likely to be relaxed, and vice versa. Does anyone else get woken up in the middle of the night by something, finding yourself bolt upright in bed, body in a state of hyper-awakeness? Your mind quickly catches up…and then your mind is wide awake while your body goes back into relaxation mode…and then the mind catches up again and goes to sleep. Hopefully.
It doesn't always work of course, but it's a good rule of thumb to remember. All is inter-connected. So if you're having a shit time at work, this will inevitably bleed into your relationships and home life. If you are deliriously happy at home, this will feed into your work day. I love it when clients first begin to work with me, they work on one area of their life and suddenly other areas start to improve too - even though they haven't necessarily taken action on them. All is inter-connected.
Within your body, within your life, within your environment even - if everyone round you is miserable, chances are that will rub off on you unless you take steps to protect yourself. Likewise, if you surround yourself with positive, optimistic people, some of their cheeriness will rub off on you…again, unless you take steps to protect yourself! The good news is that now you are aware of this truth that all is interconnected, you can consciously create and nurture connections that improve the quality of your life…and if you work on ANY area of your life, the others will get better too!
- Something To Play With -
So which connections are bringing you down, and which are helping you up? How can you use the truth that all is inter-connected to make your life even more amazing? Want to share your thoughts on this article? E-mail me. I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails.
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Now That's what I call Bloody-Minded!
So, you're playing tennis, you're 2 sets down and in the 3rd set your opponent is serving for the match. What do you do?
Well, if you follow tennis in Britain, you'll probably know that Andy Murray went on to WIN the match! Stunning. Un-believable. I was sat in watching the tv last night with a look of utter incredulity on my face. I am still shocked. From being totally out of the game, he went on to win it! Many people (me included) would have been thinking about supper at that point and given up. Mind you, I'm rubbish at tennis, so there would have been NO chance of a comeback for me!
Anyway, it got me thinking...when you are going for your goals and dreams in life, do you keep going til the last point, or do you give up half way? Now I'm not necessarily recommending sheer bloody-mindedness necessarily - it's hard work for a start! But what if you just kept playing for the things you wanted? All too often, people give up when things are just starting to happen! Sometimes you have to change the playing field, I know that, but you don't have to give up on your dreams.
In fact, I'd go as far as to say, you mustn't give up! Because you can do it...with a healthy dollup of self-belief, a bit of luck and tenacity - you will do it. And observers will be standing round opened mouthed, saying 'unbelievable', 'stunning' and 'bloody hell, good for you!'
Love
Donna.x
Well, if you follow tennis in Britain, you'll probably know that Andy Murray went on to WIN the match! Stunning. Un-believable. I was sat in watching the tv last night with a look of utter incredulity on my face. I am still shocked. From being totally out of the game, he went on to win it! Many people (me included) would have been thinking about supper at that point and given up. Mind you, I'm rubbish at tennis, so there would have been NO chance of a comeback for me!
Anyway, it got me thinking...when you are going for your goals and dreams in life, do you keep going til the last point, or do you give up half way? Now I'm not necessarily recommending sheer bloody-mindedness necessarily - it's hard work for a start! But what if you just kept playing for the things you wanted? All too often, people give up when things are just starting to happen! Sometimes you have to change the playing field, I know that, but you don't have to give up on your dreams.
In fact, I'd go as far as to say, you mustn't give up! Because you can do it...with a healthy dollup of self-belief, a bit of luck and tenacity - you will do it. And observers will be standing round opened mouthed, saying 'unbelievable', 'stunning' and 'bloody hell, good for you!'
Love
Donna.x
Monday, June 30, 2008
OnTheBeach - The Strategic Approach
What is your life strategy? Do you have every last move planned out – including several escape routes and alternatives in case of change? Do you have no strategy whatsoever and just roll with the punches? Are you looking in the opposite direction so you don’t even see the punches coming? I got a questionnaire from http://www.luckspreader.com/ today, and filling it in made me realise something…I do have a life strategy – and most people would not consider it a strategy. Including me…until I thought about it!
When I asked you about your life strategy, what did you think of? Maybe it was a sporting analogy, or some kind of life map. Maybe the very word ‘strategy’ put you to sleep after all the ‘strategic meetings’ you’ve been forced to sit though at work. Maybe there was a big blank space where thoughts should be! Did you think ‘follow my intuition and reach for joy’? If so, e-mail me immediately and let me know because that’s what I do!
That’s my ‘strategy’ for life. And even if I say so myself, it’s a pretty bloody good strategy! With this particular strategy, it is impossible to lose. The very worst thing that can happen is that I enjoy myself (deary-me what a dreadful possibility!). A strategy is defined as a plan, method, or series of maneuvers or stratagems for obtaining a specific goal or result. What is the specific goal or result that you want for your life?
Most people want to have a ‘good life’ – which I define as a joyful life rather than a life full of stuff. I wonder if you have ever taken the time to state specifically what the goal from your life is? Maybe now’s a good time to do so…and to work out your strategy? Say for example your goal from life is to drive yourself into the ground, then your strategy could be to work 15 hours a day. Or your goal from life might be to be miserable, and your strategy is do stuff you hate that makes you unhappy.
I’m not sure entirely why you would want to do that…but so many people do that there must be a really good reason that I am missing altogether! Perhaps it is just that we do not take the time to think what our goal for life is, and what the strategy is to achieve it. Feel free to copy mine – Goal: To have a joyful life. Strategy: Follow my guidance and enjoy life. It’s working well for me and the clients I have shared it with!
Something to play with
If someone else were to look at your life right now, what might they say the strategy and goal are? Would they say it was to complain incessantly and end up bitter and twisted? To be very driven and to be financially successful? To embrace mayhem and have a barmy life? What is your real goal for your life? What do you want your life to be? And what is your strategy to get there?
When I asked you about your life strategy, what did you think of? Maybe it was a sporting analogy, or some kind of life map. Maybe the very word ‘strategy’ put you to sleep after all the ‘strategic meetings’ you’ve been forced to sit though at work. Maybe there was a big blank space where thoughts should be! Did you think ‘follow my intuition and reach for joy’? If so, e-mail me immediately and let me know because that’s what I do!
That’s my ‘strategy’ for life. And even if I say so myself, it’s a pretty bloody good strategy! With this particular strategy, it is impossible to lose. The very worst thing that can happen is that I enjoy myself (deary-me what a dreadful possibility!). A strategy is defined as a plan, method, or series of maneuvers or stratagems for obtaining a specific goal or result. What is the specific goal or result that you want for your life?
Most people want to have a ‘good life’ – which I define as a joyful life rather than a life full of stuff. I wonder if you have ever taken the time to state specifically what the goal from your life is? Maybe now’s a good time to do so…and to work out your strategy? Say for example your goal from life is to drive yourself into the ground, then your strategy could be to work 15 hours a day. Or your goal from life might be to be miserable, and your strategy is do stuff you hate that makes you unhappy.
I’m not sure entirely why you would want to do that…but so many people do that there must be a really good reason that I am missing altogether! Perhaps it is just that we do not take the time to think what our goal for life is, and what the strategy is to achieve it. Feel free to copy mine – Goal: To have a joyful life. Strategy: Follow my guidance and enjoy life. It’s working well for me and the clients I have shared it with!
Something to play with
If someone else were to look at your life right now, what might they say the strategy and goal are? Would they say it was to complain incessantly and end up bitter and twisted? To be very driven and to be financially successful? To embrace mayhem and have a barmy life? What is your real goal for your life? What do you want your life to be? And what is your strategy to get there?
Friday, June 27, 2008
Was that worth giving up your peace for?
I was reading a blog entry at http://blog.yourangelsmessage.com/2008/06/26/june-26-2008.aspx today and this question caught my eye “Was that worth giving up your peace for?” What has made you give up your peace today? What has made you angry, irritable, stressed, freaked out? Was it worth giving up your peace?
For me, it was a lorry drifting into my lane on the dual carriageway, prompting a furious beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep and a lot of swear words. Was it worth giving up my peace for? No, absolutely not! A little ‘hello I’m here’ cheery beep would have done the trick, and wouldn’t have had the same negative impact on my blood pressure!
So, next time I get in the car, I have to remember that no matter what the other drivers do, I’m not giving up my peace for them!
In peace and love
Donna.x
Thursday, June 26, 2008
From the Mouths of Babes
Today I received this e-mail about what Love means to a 4-8 year old . . .
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails any more.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared
anymore." Cindy - age 8
"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep
at night." Clare - age 6
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."
Karen - age 7
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8
And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbour was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"
Tonight, raise your glass in a toast to love...in all its' forms!
Love
Donna.x
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails any more.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared
anymore." Cindy - age 8
"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep
at night." Clare - age 6
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."
Karen - age 7
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8
And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbour was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"
Tonight, raise your glass in a toast to love...in all its' forms!
Love
Donna.x
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
The Serenity Reminder
This is BY FAR the best picture I have EVER taken! Isn't it beautiful? I have this as my screen saver, I've been sharing it with everyone I know, and I am getting notecards and posters made from it! Yes, I love it!
Not just because it's a beautiful image, but because it reminds me of that holiday mellowness that I am bringing back into my "real" life. One look at this picture and I am instantly transported back to a magical moment - relaxed, happy, (well fed, but that is incidental!), tranquil, serene. The sad truth is that most of our lives are not as relaxed, happy, tranquil and serene as we would like, so we need these reminders.
So, what reminders do you have surrounding you? To-do lists, clutter, mayhem? Or beautiful tranquil scenes that remind you of great times?
Maybe it's time to go through your photo album?
Love
Donna.x
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