The Voice of Love

Whose voice do you listen to?  The voice that constantly tells you that you suck, or the voice that tells you that you are an amazing human being with incredible gifts and talents?  The voice that demeans you and puts you down, or the voice that encourages you and builds you up? 

 

Are you consciously choosing which voice to listen to, or are you just listening to the one that shouts the loudest?  

 

Listen only to the voice of love.  All other voices are talking shite!

 

Love

 

Donna.x

Did the Earth Move for You?

Ooh, the big news! We had an earthquake here last night. 5.2 on the Richter Scale. Now, to those of you away from the UK, this might not sound like big news - but we haven't had an earthquake that strong in 20 years! And it's not exactly a common occurence here either - the last one was about 3 years ago.

I freely admit that I am a girly poof - the last earthquake terrified me, and this one scared me too. It only scared me this time because I woke up after the ground had stopped shaking, I thought I'd had a bad dream when I found myself sat up in bed with my heart pounding.

Anwyay, it got me thinking about foundations. Are your foundations strong enough to withstand an earthquake? I'm not talking about your house here. I am off in the world of metaphor - your personal foundations - confidence, money, self love and acceptance, and so on. You'll know if your foundations are rocky if you are easily knocked off track by small things.

Strong foundations mean you can withstand minor earthquakes, that might freak you out, but don't really harm you!

Love

Donna.x

A One Shot Deal

There is only one of you in all of time. Be the person you came here to be.

Love

Donna.x

OnTheBeach - Your Full Potential

- Group Coaching -

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT! I have now launched a twice monthly group coaching call - so if you've been thinking about having coaching and would like to know more about this concept, click here.

- Your Full Potential -

Living to your full potential. What does this phrase mean to you? Are you living to your full potential? Does trying to live to your full potential mean working harder, trying harder, getting more money, stuff, qualifications, kudos? Does it make you tired just thinking about it? Does it stress you out? Do you know what image springs to mind when I think about living to my full potential? Something similar to the image on the right here ->

Someone who is jumping for joy, enjoying their life, and LIVING to their full potential. Whenever people talk about living to their full potential, they are most often talking about DOING to their full potential. All well and good, but your ability to 'do' is restricted by the time, energy and drive you have…and all too often we exhaust ourselves trying to 'do' too much. What if living to your full potential meant BEING. Fully being.

Being what? Being happy, loving, joyful, fun, Being You. See, no one else can be you in the same way that you can. No one else can be you to your full potential. Your full potential of enjoyment, joy, love is HUGE. And moving towards the full achievement of your potential to be is WONDERFUL. Deconstruct that word - wonder full. It's not hard to 'be', it's not stressful (unless you wish to be stressed!), it's not tiring.

If you were to rate your level of enjoyment of your life right now, what would it be on a scale of 1-10 (1 is life sucks, and 10 is I LOVE MY LIFE!). If it's not 10 or getting there, where are you making 'doing stuff to make me happy' more important than 'being happy'? See, most of us have it backwards - we 'do' stuff to make us 'be' happy. Only half the time the 'doing' just leads to more 'doing'. An example: I'm going to work really hard to get the money to get some stuff and then I'll be happy. How many years have you been following this insane thought? Is it working for you?

I'm heavily simplifying here, but trust me, scratch the surface of most desires to 'do' and 'be happy' is the underlying idea. Why not be happy first? Or even while you're busy doing. It is absolutely possible to be happy when your life is not perfect…and if it's perfection you're waiting for, you'd better start enjoying your misery! Living to your full potential means just that - LIVING to your full potential. By all means, work toward your goals, but make sure that you are enjoying yourself on the way - otherwise you will miss your potential for joy in the here and now.


- Something To Play With -

Where are you on that scale of enjoyment? If your happiness was your only concern this week, what could you do to bump your score up one point? Want to share how this article affects you? E-mail me I love to hear from readers, and will respond to all e-mails. Or why not join Donna's monthly group coaching to explore this concept some more?

What would You Do?

If feeling good is the only mark of life, what would you do now?

Love

Donna.x
With many thanks to Dr Alexandra Gayek of Science of Being Well for this GREAT question

It doesn't matter

OH MY GOD! I'm still not feeling 100%...it doesn't matter.
I didn't do all the housework today...it doesn't matter.
I didn't do everything I wanted to do workwise today...it doesn't matter.
I didn't go to the gym today...it doesn't matter.
I haven't taken over the world today...it doesn't matter.

Why doesn't it matter? Because none of this is life shattering! It is only my expectations that I 'should' have perfect health all the time (insane!), have a sparkling house (never gonna happen!), finish every work 'thing' I ever thought of (yeah, right!), go to the gym every day (unrealistic...and unwanted!), take over the world (like I'd want that responsibility?!). So what does matter?

Only that you feel good. Life is here to enjoy - most of the stuff we get stressed about DOESN'T MATTER! Feeling good, now that's important!

Love

Donna.x

PS I Love You

I'm sure that if you celebrate Valentine's Day, you will have done the roses, chocolates, gifts, love bit last week, but do you only do that on Valentine's Day? And for those of you who think Valentine's Day is a terrible waste of time, money, effort, and a commercialised meaningless date, when do you tell people you love them? And for those of you who are single, and forget about valentine's day (like me, who wondered why everything in the world had gone red last Thursday), when do you tell people you love them?

And this isn't just about telling your significant other that they are loved. What about the rest of the people in your life? Do they know that you love them? Roses, chocolates and gifts are all very nice (and if anyone wishes to send them to me, they will of course be welcome!) but love isn't always about the grand gesture, the big idea, the one day, the one person. Love is also about small things, every day, and everyone.

This week do something to let the people you care about know that you care about them. Let them know how important they are to you. Look in the mirror and tell that person you love them. It's a beautiful thing to share love.

Love

Donna.x

PS I Love You!

The Greatest Romance

Aaah, l'amour! If you are in love today, I hope that you are enjoying it!

And if you're not, this tip is especially for you. Some of us save falling in love for that special person, and in doing so we miss out! You can fall in love right now - whether there is a special someone in the wings or not. How? By falling in love with the very special someone you see in the mirror. By falling in love with yourself and your life.

Imagine it, every morning, waking up and laughing out loud because you are with you, and you have this incredible life! Don't wait until life is perfect, or you are perfect, because you'll miss the long years of wonderful imperfection. Let's face it, when we fall in love with someone else, we don't fall in love with perfection...so why demand that from yourself before you can fall in love with you?

Trust me, you are special, amazing, wonderful, beautiful, stunningly gorgeous and the most incredible person on the planet. It's time you saw that for yourself.

Love you

Donna.x

Especially Car Insurance

yesterday I asked you to question everything. This week I questioned my car insurance. It's due soon, and as I usually do, I double checked on t'internet to make sure I couldn't get it cheaper elsewhere...and found that my own insurer gave me a quote £80 less than my renewal premium.

Like I said, question everything!

Love

Donna.x

Question Everything

Once you've decided that something is absolutely true (or untrue!), you've closed your mind on it. A closed mind has nowhere to go. Question Everything.

Is it really true that life sucks?

Is it really true that you can't change anything?

Is it really true that you can't have the life you want?

Is it really true that 'it has to be this way'?

What if it wasn't? What if not accepting that 'truth' led you to a wonderful life? A wonderful job? A wonderful partner?

7 years ago, I kept coming back to one thought 'there must be more to life than this!' And I was right - I kept questioning that things had to be as they were, that I couldn't change anything...and along the way, I found coaches and friends who constantly challenged me to question my most deeply held beliefs. Here's what I found: there are no absolutes. And many of my beliefs (particularly the ones that limited me and kept me small!) were wrong.

Question Everything. Your questions may just lead to answers you never dreamed of.

Love

Donna.x

OnTheBeach - Cut the Puppet Strings

Life is too short to waste chasing someone else’s dreams. But so many of us do just that. We live the life that someone else set out for us – our parents, our peers, our significant others. We do what is ‘safe’, what is ‘acceptable’, what is ‘normal’. The authentic desires that hide in your heart never disappear, they just wilt under the pressure of having to be just like everyone else.

Now, of course, I’m not talking about anything illegal, immoral or insane here. Just the normal desires in every heart to be unique, to be authentic, to be happy. And here’s the problem (or the solution!) – everyone is different. No one has exactly the same tastes and ideas. Some people like Muse, and some like Celine Dion. There is no right or wrong – just what makes you happy. For me, Muse = happy, Celine = torture.

I use the example of music because it’s an easy one to grasp – everyone knows that musical tastes vary and that’s ok (at least I hope you know that!). But when we get a little further afield than music, something happens. Suddenly your hopes and dreams aren’t ok. Suddenly your desires are ‘weird’ rather than unique. Authenticity is a bad thing because it makes you ‘different’.

Well, if you want to have a happy, joyful life, get really comfortable with being weird and different! Because we all are. Every last one of us is weird and wonderful, different and beautifully unique. The marvellous thing about the authentic desires in your heart is that they never disappear, and they are easy to revive! Just start to follow some of that heartfelt guidance. Even when someone else has a different opinion on what you should be doing with your life.

Notice the key words there? Your life. Can you feel someone else pulling the puppet strings in your life? Sometimes it is very subtle, sometimes it’s like a sledgehammer, but always it feels like you are not in control. When the puppet strings get cut, you get to live the life you want to live, not the life that someone else laid out for you. So who’s pulling your puppet strings, and do they really know better than you do what’s best for you?

Something to play with
Just notice who’s playing with your puppet strings. Notice where you are giving away your power to someone else. Notice what the stirrings of your heart are telling you to do, and just take one small step in the direction of your dreams. Get in touch if you'd like to share your puppet string stories - I love to hear from you, and reply to all comments and e-mails.

Love

Donna.x

Rocks and Sucks

On Radio 1 on a Friday, Jo Whiley does a 'rocks and sucks' section. Here's my entry for today:

What rocks: the Hours and The Twang at warwick uni last night (the hours were BRILLIANT)
What sucks: some idiot threw beer all over me, and when I took off my glasses to clean beer off, the lens fell out! (and vanished into thin air – I couldn’t even find the broken glass after the gig) So now I have to buy new glasses. Rubbish.

Now, I'm a big fan of looking on the bright side, and looking more into what is working rather than what is not working at all. But I don't believe in ignoring what is rubbish. That's denial, and not generally useful. The key is to notice what sucks, and either fix it or notice that it's not that bad. In the grand scheme of things, a lens falling out of my specs is not the worst thing that could happen (although I am hugely curious to know where the chuff the thing went!!!).

So, what rocks and sucks in your life this week?

Love

Donna.x

Cool People Care

I get a daily e-mail from Sam Davidson at Cool People Care about a way to save the world in 5 minutes. Today's was such an obvious, yet probably underused tip that I wanted to share it with you:

"It's very tempting and quite habitual for us to start our cars right when we hop in. Then, we put on the seatbelt, fiddle with the mirrors, find a radio station, take a swig of coffee, and then head out. And even though it doesn't seem like a long time, any extra seconds spent idling are seconds we're wasting gas, burning money, and harming the environment. The next time you get ready to get going, start the car last. By applying a proper order to your pre-drive routine, you'll be doing the environment and your wallet a great service. "

Love

Donna.x

Dragging your Heels

Does anyone have any idea when the UK shooting season finishes? It's ruining my walks with the dog. We are now down to 2 (out of about 12) walks that she will actually do, and even then, she drags her heels. I've been trying to convince her that they are not shooting at her, but she's having none of it!

Anyway, it reminded me of what we're like when we are being pulled towards something that we know will be great (like a field full of rabbits to chase)...and we drag our heels. For example, following the guidance of our body that says 'get exercise and stop eating chips' or the guidance of our heart that says 'this situation needs to change'.

Our dog is very lucky, she has me coaxing, encouraging (and occasionally badgering and dragging!!) her along cos I know she'll love the walk once she's chasing rabbits (or birds, or invisible things!). Are you so lucky? Do you have the support you need to keep going, even when you're scared and you think they're shooting at you (they're not)? The life you want is just waiting for you to stop dragging your heels.

Love

Donna.x

Move your Pooh Stick

Remember Pooh-sticks? The game Winnie the Pooh and friends played where they drop a stick into the water on one side of the bridge, and the first stick to reach the other side wins. Now, imagine that life is like a game of Pooh sticks…and you are the stick. The stick is happily floating downstream in the river of life…until it gets stuck. Maybe it’s wedged in with a bunch of other sticks, maybe it’s caught in a little eddy, going round and round and round.

Does this sound like your life? Is your stick stuck? Does it help your stick to complain about being stuck to all the other sticks? Does it help to moan that your stick is too fat, too stupid, too stuck? No. Your stick is still stuck. The stick isn’t a bad stick for getting stuck – it just got stuck. It happens in the river of life. Some sticks float down the river without ever getting stuck (although I’ve not once met one!), but most get stuck sometimes.

Now imagine that all you have to do is get your stick unstuck…that’s your only task. See the thing about getting stuck is that you don’t have to stay stuck. Sometimes you will need to move a load of other sticks around you to be able to move, sometimes it’s just a matter of pointing the stick back downstream, and sometimes you have to throw a rock at the stick to get it moving.

Again, the stick isn’t bad…no matter what it takes to get it moving again, the stick is just stuck. No more, no less. Are you getting the relevance of this metaphor to your life? Maybe you are not stuck right now…if not, great! Remember to enjoy the flow of life, and notice what is going on around you. Maybe you can avoid getting stuck for a while. When (if) you do get stuck, and if you are stuck now, your only task is to get unstuck.

My stick gets stuck on a regular basis – it might be a business challenge, or relationships, or outside influences, or health trouble, or writing, or any other ‘obstacle’ in life. I don’t mind getting stuck anymore, because I know lots of tools that will help me move my stick – coaching, journalling, gratitude, vision, friends, colleagues, clients, the list is endless. A few years ago the only way I knew was to throw a rock at the stick!

I want you to know that you don’t have to throw a rock at the stick – life change doesn’t have to be shocking and hard, and totally disorientating. You can let it be easy. As long as you are working on getting your stick back into the flow of life, it’s all good. And where is the flow going? Well, Nirvana of course. The joyful life. It’s not that far away…you just might get stuck a time or two. But your only job is to keep your stick unstuck and flowing.

Something to play with
Where are you stuck in your life? How could you unstuck your stick? Who can support you to do this? Want to share what’s going on for you? E-mail me.

Fit as a Butcher's Dog

This week I have been really getting the most from my gym membership, and energy for fitness. In the last 6 days, I have walked the dog 5 times, been to the gym twice, been swimming once, been to aquafit, pilates and belly dancing. And do you know what, I am knackered! But a nice knackered, rather than unhealthily knackered.

This is a really obvious thing to say, but life really does feel better when you are fitter! (not that I am actually that fit, but fitter than I was!) More oxygen gets to your brain, heart, muscles, you sleep better, and I haven't had one guilty twinge about the orange kitkat I am munching my way through.

If you're in the middle of winter like me, you might not want to get outside - it's cold and wet and hailing and windy and miserable. But trust me, if you do something active, you'll feel better. And despite January being the wettest for years here (apparently!), we have had some beautiful days - blue skies, sunshine.

So get out and about wherever you are.

Love

Donna.x