How much do you trust in yourself? When you have a decision to make, who do you talk it through with? On Saturday, I was umming and ahing whether to go out with a man I had met...on the one hand, I knew what I wanted (or didn't want) to do. On the other hand, a thousand other voices in my head were telling me to go for it, no wonder I am single if I refuse dates, why the hell not, maybe you'll connect on a date in a way you didn't when you met...
And so on. I considered talking it through with a friend, and then decided to talk it through with myself - my friends will only say the same as I do (I picked them, I know what they will say!). So I had a little chat with myself. I changed one thing though - the voices that tell me I'm a useless, antisocial git had to be constructive! So rather than accusing myself of being an antisocial git, I raised the point that it could be seen this way.
Which allowed me to see how ridiculous that argument is. Just because I am single, does not mean I have to go on dates...it means I can if I want. There are people who will say I'm too choosy (they never met some of my ex's), and people who will say that I should give him a chance. However, I am a busy woman, and I do not spend time with people just because they are there! I spend time with people I have a connection with.
And here's the decider for trusting me - I am really good at spotting if there is a connection with someone. I have been in business for 3 years, and one of the key skills I've learnt is relationship building (which includes relationship severing - why waste time with people you don't connect with?). This is not to insult this chap - he is a nice bloke. There was just no connection on this occasion for me. Who knows what will happen in the future?!
The actual circumstances of this decision are largely irrelevant - the most important thing is that I had a decision to make, and I made it all by myself (well, mostly - I also got a call that cemented my decision, but that's another story!). I trusted myself to know what's best for me. I didn't do what I thought I 'should' do, or what anyone else thought I 'should' do. And do you know what? I am unreasonably proud of that fact!
If you trusted yourself, what decision would you make today?
Love
Donna.x
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2 comments:
Hi Donna,
from my own experience it is always better to trust your own instincts and do what you feel is right.
Sometimes I wish I could rely on others, but the past has always proven me wrong when I did this.
Love
Christina
Hi Christina
This made me chuckle. I wonder how much easier life would be if we never expected someone else to have our answers?
Love
Donna.x
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