The Worry Checklist

Once again, I got my '3 messages' over the last 24 hours - from a friend, from a forum, and then from a client. Worry was the message. And I realised that although I do it sometimes (when I really want to make myself miserable ;-)) I don't do it that often. Why not? Because I've trained myself out of the habit. How? By either doing something, or giving it to someone else to worry about!

So, here’s a ‘check list’ for when you are worrying:
1. What can I do about it right now? If there is something, do it. If nothing, go to number 2.
2. What can I do about it later? If there is something, plan to do it. If nothing, go to number 3.
3. What can I do about it tomorrow? If there is something, plan to do it. If nothing, go to number 4.
4. What can I do about it ever? If there is something, plan to do it. If nothing, go to number 5.
5. There is nothing I can do about this thing. Will I even give a shit in a year’s time? If not, stop worrying! If yes, go to number 6.
6. Call on spirit (God, Goddess, Angels, the Universe, your soul) for help. For example, I will say “Please help me to deal with this situation in the best way I can - calmly, cheerfully and easily.” I always feel better then...

Let me know if it works for you.

Love

Donna.x

PS Next week I am going ON HOLIDAY!!!! Very excited! So, it's unlikely that I'll be blogging. Do come back in a couple of weeks, I'll be back.

What You Want is What You Need

On a daily basis, I ask for help from 'the unknown' (God/Goddess/Whatever) to make sure I complete the things I need to do today, and get the support I need, and the messages I most need to see. Today I 'slipped up' and asked for the message I most 'want' today. I corrected myself instantly from want to need, and up popped the thought (I'm certain most of these thoughts don't come from 'me'!) "What you want is what you need".

Pause for a moment and think about that. What you want is what you need. Interesting concept, wot?

So, I could be asking to make sure I complete the things I want to do today, get the support I want, and the messages I want. Hmm...not only does this feel better (wow, you mean I get to do stuff I want to do?!), it also looks like a better request to me. Not just what I 'need', but what I want. Why wouldn't that be good? Well, it could only be bad if I didn't trust myself...

Do you trust that what you want is also what you need?

Love

Donna.x
PS I had a funny thought when I was typing that 'god/goddess/whatever' that you could be praying to 'whatever'. Next time you hear a teen-at-heart 'whatever'ing, remember it's a call to the infinite!

The Message to Do Less

I often get 'messages' for my life - for example, this week the message is to 'clear' - I've heard from several sources about clutter clearing, and clearing space, and clearing time. It's no coincidence that the message is being repeated again and again from different angles. The universe sometimes has to beat me over the head to get me to hear a message!

But this message of clearing - clutter, space and time is a really key one for me. I can easily fill every hour of the rest of my natural life! I could stay at my desk until midnight...and still have things 'to do', because there's always things 'to do'! The infinite to do list. So this week, I've clutter cleared, I've time cleared, and I'm space clearing. This space is in my working day, and it's space to finish for the day!

Trevor Hoskisson reminded me of a great time management tool - a list of 7 things you'll do that day. Do each one, and then when they are done, stop. I'm nearly done for today...and the space that has cleared by allowing myself to 'finish' my day is mesmerising!

What do you need to clear? Time? Space? Stuff?

And what messages are you being sent again, and again, and again? Is it time you listened?

Love

Donna.x

Connecting to Genius

Did you realise that you have access to the most incredible resource in the world? What is it? Other people. All too often, we strive for 'independance' (and I am very guilty of over-independance!), but let's face it, unless you're totally self sufficient (and if you are, I doubt you're reading this!) you rely on others for a thousand things. Delivering your post, reaping the crops to give you your food, manufacturing, goods, services, inventions (where would we be without the music players?!).

And other people give you access to a huge amount of information. I know very little about cars, but I know a woman who does. The reason this is much in my mind at the moment is because I am in the middle of doing some writing - some ebooks. And I have started to ask my newsletter readers for help to make sure that what I write is relevant and useful! Just one e-mail from a helpful reader can spark off 10 ideas. (and also remind me that what is obvious to me isn't always obvious to others!)

Since I have been asking for help with this project, I have recieved far more than I bargained for! Enthusiasm, encouragement, inspiration, ideas, interest, the list goes on.

What are you doing right now that the vast resource that is 'other people' could help you with?

Love

Donna.x
PS the question that I have been asking is "What gets in the way of your self-care?" If you'd like to help me by answering that question, please get in touch. Thanks a million.

What you Can Control

"While we may not be able to control all that happens to us, we can control what happens inside us" Benjamin Franklin

When you feed the 'darkness' in you by worrying, moaning, being pessimistic and negative, you make a choice. To feed the darkness. It might not be a conscious choice, but it's a choice nonetheless.

There is a different choice you can make. Feed the light by being inspired, by dreaming big, by getting excited about your life, by falling in love with you, being optimistic and positive. It feels GREAT!

What choice will you make today?

Love

Donna.x

Bring Sunshine

"Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves."

J.M Barrie

Do you bring sunshine?

Love

Donna.x

Do It Anyway

Said Kent M. Keith:

"People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway."

Happy Friday!

Love

Donna.x

Viva Espana!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...I'm just getting back into the swing of things after a long weekend in Spain with my friend Debbie, her hubby Marcus, and the puppies Dani and Fug. It's nice to see that someone else's dogs steal shoes, underwear, and anything that isn't nailed down. I think our Mollie would get on well with Dani and Fug!

Anyway, it's been harder than I thought to get back into working...especially as I am off on a week's hols in Tenerife in 13 days (not that I'm counting!). It hardly seems worth starting anything... I'm a great believer in following my energy, and yesterday and today my energy is more scattered than focused on work stuff. It seems I need time to get used to being home.

Amazing that you can feel so disoriented after just 3 and a half days away! In times past, I would have ignored the signals that I need to ease back in, and just forced myself to push past the barriers and FOCUS. Just the thought of that now bewilders me. Why would you ignore the signals of your body, mind, heart and spirit? The reason is simple - because we think we 'should' be superwomen/men.

Never mind that you don't feel up to it, get on with it! Something I think the Spanish do rather well is to live life at their own pace, rather than at 1000 miles an hour. Looking out of my window at a grey, cold day, I realise that they also do weather rather well. Sigh. However, I am getting used to being back...and I find myself (now I've allowed a slow 'ease' back in) looking forward to getting on with some stuff.

What signals are you ignoring from your body, mind, heart and spirit?

Love

Donna.x

The Dog's B*******

Dogs have no problem being present.  They don’t worry about where the next meal is coming from, or what they’ve got to do tomorrow.  They might hope that a walk is coming in the near future, but in the meantime they can just be happy with having a snooze while they wait.  They are always pleased to see you, they totally accept you, even if you are still in your pyjamas at 2 in the afternoon and haven’t showered for 2 days.  They don’t care if you are ‘successful’ or ‘wealthy’.  As long as you love them, they love you right back.

 

Anyone else thinking we could learn from dogs?

 

Love

 

Donna.x

 

 

You Can Only Do What You're Doing

Following on from yesterday's mini-tizz, I had a chat with my friend Jon Willis this morning. Jon does 'The Work' and helped me today to go through the process with this 'I've got to do everything today' belief which was still lingering. What he helped me to realise was just how unhelpful this particular belief is. Not only is it stressful, it also ensures that I cannot be present in anything I'm doing.

Walking the dog, and worrying about what else I should be doing. Writing this, and worrying about what else I should be doing. Meeting friends I love to bits, and worrying about what I haven't done! I miss out on so much because I'm mentally elsewhere. In 'should've-land'. Completely pointless! As Jon pointed out, I can only do what I'm doing. Right now, I can only be writing this - I can't walk the dog while I write. Or write something else. Or write a card. Or anything else!

With that realisation, I can relax. And just do what I am doing in this moment. I will enjoy walking the dog when I get to that. I will thoroughly enjoy meeting my friends when I am doing that. In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy whatever I find myself doing in each moment. Hmm...sounds a bit like a recipe for a happy life!

Are you mentally in another time zone, or are you enjoying what you are doing right now? (you're reading this...so I hope you are making the effort to enjoy it too!!!!)

Love

Donna.x

So Little to do, So Much Time

Or is it the other way round? I've been getting myself in a minor tizz again this week - 3 days out of 5 out of the office, going to Spain on Friday, a to do list 4 pages long to be done! The funny thing is that I know it won't all be done. It's a physical impossibility to do everything I want to do (one of the things is write a book...not gonna happen this week!). And once I let go of wanting to do everything, I can relax and decide what I actually want to do.

Of my to do list of 56 items (give or take!), 1 has GOT to be done before Friday - travel insurance. 2 I really want to make sure are done - my cousin's birthday card and an article finished for next week. The rest? Well, the world won't collapse if I don't do the other 53 things. And this week would be a lot more fun if I didn't insist I 'have to'...in fact I think I'll make a game of it.

Here's the rules of the game: I'm allowed to go away for the weekend only having done those 3 things, and I get a bonus endorphin for each one I do WITHOUT any stress! So that's 53 extra endorphins ... on top of feeling good cos I'm relaxed and excited to be going away. Bonus.

What could you let go of 'having' to do this week? And how much more fun would life be if you relaxed and enjoyed the things that you do?

Love

Donna.x

Happy Friday!

I got this thought of the day from www.emofree.com today "Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy." Cynthia Nelms

Quite so. And if you need something to cheer you up, check this out http://mom2my6pack.blogspot.com/ - the blog of a mom of 6. Hilarious.

Have a great weekend!

Love

Donna.x

Of Insomnia and Blood Loss

The last couple of nights I have not slept well at all. After 32 years of insomnia, I finally got the magic formula in place to allow me to sleep well most of the time. But every month, I get a couple of days where I do not sleep at all well. I am not good when I don't sleep. I am aware there are people who can get by on 3 hours sleep...but I'm not one of them. 7 hours instead of 8 can make me very irritable.

And as for an entire evening of tossing and turning...despite being shattered (I don't mind so much if I'm not actually tired in the first place!)...well let's just say I'm not at my best and leave it there. Just don't annoy me today! Thankfully my client sessions for the day are now out of the way with only a little incoherence from me...and now I just have my to do list to do!

Trouble is, I'm also a pint of blood lighter. As I wasn't able to concentrate, I went off to Give Blood...it seemed like a good idea at the time! Unfortunately, I'm now even less inclined to go through and tick off my tasks for today. Sigh. So, I am going to have a bowl of chips with sour cream and have a little lie down. Maybe I'll feel more like doing my to do's later?

When your energy isn't 100%, is your focus on 'getting things done anyway' or on raising your energy so you can 'do' with more presence, wit (and in my case, brain cells!)? If you knew that the most important thing in life is that you feel good, what might you allow yourself to do (or not do) today?

Love

Donna.x
PS Give Blood. Now. I told you earlier, don't irritate me today!

You're Having a Laugh!

One of the things I love about what I do for a living is that I have a really good laugh with my clients. One of the things I love about my friends is that we laugh a lot. One of the things I love about life is laughter. And the thing I most like to do? You guessed it! Laugh.

When was the last time you laughed aloud? If you can’t remember, it’s too long ago.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find a way to get yourself laughing aloud. As soon as possible.

“the most wasted of all days is that on which one has not laughed” Nicholas Chamfort. Don’t waste this day.

Love and laughter!

Donna.x

The Why's and Wherefore's of a chocolate habit

This week's newsletter covered the subject of 'self-destruct' - the notion that we all do things that we know are bad for us! I have created a worksheet for looking at the why's and wherefore's of a bad habit, and I thought I'd work through it myself:

1. What are you getting from this bad habit? (aim for at least 5 answers. )
A nice taste
Comfort
Something to do with my hands
Something to do with my mouth
I avoid feeling when I’m hitting chocolate
An energy ‘fix’
2. What is it costing you? (not just money, peace of mind, relationship, health etc)
Energy (ironically!)
Health – it lies on my hips
Peace of mind, because I’m constantly arguing with myself about whether to have chocolate
I’m embarrassed about it, and I hide it from my family (oh, the shame!)
If I go anywhere, I have to have a chocolate ‘fix’ with me
3. What are you afraid would happen if you didn’t do this anymore?
I’d become a puritan (if you only knew how ridiculous that answer is!)
4. What would you miss most if you gave it up?
That first taste of lovely chocolate!
5. What would be better if you gave it up?
I wouldn’t be surrounded by empty wrappers, I’d not be heckling myself for doing it, my weight would probably stabilise, my energy would be higher and more consistent, I wouldn’t have to think about being embarrassed about it or taking it with me on holiday!!!
6. For each of the answers to question 1, think of 3 other ways you could get that? A nice taste -> cheese, apples, chicken and white wine soup
Comfort -> a blanket, a hug, cup a soup
Something to do with my hands -> doing a jigsaw, knit, play the piano
Something to do with my mouth -> sing, a dummy (!), boiled sweets
I avoid feeling when I’m hitting chocolate -> watch tv, work, play with the dog
An energy ‘fix’ -> nuts/fruit, exercise, sleep
7. On a scale of 1-10, how much do you want to ‘stop’ this bad habit? What would boost that score up the scale by 1? (and keep asking that question until it’s a 10!) If it’s less than a 7, chances are you will find it difficult, because you don’t want to!
6/10. What would boost it up to a 7 would be eating so much I was sick! (actually that would probably boost it to a 10) What would boost it to an 8 would be if the energy drop was more obvious. What would boost it to a 9 would be if I saw how bad it is for me. And a 10 would be if it made me poorly.
8. IF you don’t really want to stop, what would have to change for that to be ok? (EG for you to be happy with your ‘bad’ habit?)
For me to have less, and to be ok if I was staying with a friend and didn’t have any!
9. If you knew it would be easy to stop your bad habit (no cravings, no pain) would you?
Yes.
10. IF the answer to this question is yes, what would make it easier for you to stop?
Cut down bit by bit until I wouldn’t really notice if I stopped entirely. Noticing what need I'm trying to fill when I crave a piece of chocolate and checking if there's another way to do that before I go choca-barmy! Noticing the joy of the first bite...and when that joy stops, stopping eating!

Hmmm...I find that I can think of the piece of chocolate sitting in my drawer without craving it.

Interesting.

What 'bad' habits can you put through this wringer?

Love

Donna.x

Rediscover the Thrill of the Chase

I recently bought myself some 'self-care' and 'Grace' cards from Cheryl Richardson. (I like to pull a card every day to give me some insight into my own self care) Over the weekend, a card that came up was 'Patience: be willing to sacrifice good for great'.

Contemplate that for a minute.

The world we live in is a full on, instant, now, now, now kind of world. Any gratification must be instantaneous or we won't bother. Nothing is worth the effort. If it takes more than 5 minutes, why bother? Ok, it's a sweeping generalisation, and many of us don't really live like that. This card has stayed with me, I keep worrying at it, like a loose tooth.

Not only does the idea of 'great' over 'good' appeal to me, it also includes the thrill of the chase - the idea of working towards something fantastic, something wonderful, and reveling in the journey, as well as the achievement of the goal. You'll never take this part of your journey again - are you feeling the adrenalin rush of chasing the life you want? Are you enjoying the chase?

Or are you moaning that the life you want isn't here yet? Which one do you think would be the most fun?

Love

Donna.x