A Present of Joy for Christmas Day

I was just speaking to a client tonight, when I had a brilliant idea (which came from 'outside' of me, as all the best ideas do!). I asked my client to write a list of all the things they have done this year to be proud of, all the fun moments they've had, all the moments of joy they can remember. Then seal this list in an envelope and open it on christmas day.

What a lovely present to yourself, to remind yourself on this one funky day of just how wonderful life is, and has been, and how great you are! So, this weekend, if you've got a few minutes to spare, dash off a list of joyful moments, things you're proud of and have achieved, and give yourself the gift of a joyful memory reel for Christmas.

Love

Donna.x
PS i suggest 100 things, but 20 will work too! Go...do, I'm off to do mine...

Ready to Receive

Santa has a box of wealth, health, happiness, love, luck and joy for you to enjoy in 2008. Are you ready to receive it? Put it this way, if you have a hard time accepting a compliment, you might struggle a bit to receive all this good stuff!!!

This Christmas, play with the idea that you do deserve ALL the good things that come your way (and if you are unfortunate enough to receive 'bad' things this xmas, you deserve BETTER!). Get ready to receive the wealth, health, happiness, love, luck and joy...

Because you ARE worth it.

Love

Donna.x

Mayhem Outside, Hibernation Inside

Listening to the radio today, I heard there were traffic jams, people out manically shopping and general chaos. I was in it myself yesterday when I popped to town to finish my shopping. It's mad out there. In here, there is a roaring fire, blankets, books, writing materials and drinks. I'm set for the night - I will be staying in the warm and the peace and the quiet (well, quiet-ish - the radio is blaring!).

It's winter-time, it's December, it's cold (in England anyway), it's a time when the rest of nature hibernates...and we all go bananas Christmas shopping! What's wrong with this picture? I have long been of the opinion that we should get December off work to just chill, and sleep, and hibernate. (And a summer month off to enjoy summer, but that's another story!) This December, gift yourself at least one night to sit in front of a warm fire with a book and your choice of food and drink.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand Relax...

Love

Donna.x

Happy Christmas Your Arse

In all the furore over 'Fairytale of New York', I realised a HUGE mistake in my newsletter this week - I quoted 'Merry Christmas your arse' instead of 'Happy Christmas your arse'. Oopsie. My apologies.

If you haven't seen the (ridiculous) furore, Radio 1 decided to bleep out 'faggot' from the song in case it offended batches anywhere, or something, and then changed their mind. The only good thing about this absurdity is the exposure the song gets...I do hope it gets to number one!

I am slightly reluctant to point it out in case it causes another furore, but has anyone noticed they say 'arse'?! OH MY GOD. I'm stunned people haven't been complaining for the last 20 years about it.

Hopefully they have better things to do with their time. Sing with me 'It was Christmas Eve babe, in the drunk tank'...

Love

Donna.x

A Letter To Father Christmas

When was the last time you wrote a letter to Father Christmas? 10, 20, 30, too many years! I know that when we're about 8 we discover that Father Christmas isn't real...and then the magic gradually seeps out of Christmas. I got an e-mail today from Sarah Ban Breathnach reminding me to send my letter to Santa...and reconnect to the magic of the season, which funnily enough was also the subject of my newsletter today.

That letter to Father Christmas seems like a darn fine way to do that to me...and WHAT IF all the grown-ups were wrong, and there really is a Santa?!

Love

Donna.x

Stuck for Words

I have been sat in front of my laptop for the past 10 minutes, wondering what to write...after all, I've only been in the office 1 day so far this week, and therefore only one blog entry. Guess what? I can't think of a darned thing to write. The ridiculous thing is that I have about 200 ideas in my notebook...but none of them are inspiring anything today.

I wonder if that's because I am trying to write because I 'should' and I don't want to let readers down instead of because I want to and have something to say? Think I've hit the nail on the head there!

Do you find that when you do something because you 'should' it is harder to do than when you want to? What can you do to do more you want and less you should?

My answer is 'yes', and I can finish here...without saying anything...

Love

Donna.x

Exploding Myths

Over the weekend I was in Dublin for my cousin's wedding - magnificent by the way - and exploded a myth that I had long held. The myth was that I couldn't enjoy an occassion like a wedding when I was the only sober person there. (Once upon a time I was a big drinker, and it was the 'happy sauce' to my night's out!) On Friday I had 3 halves of lager in 7 hours (not enough to get even me drunk!) and had a marvelous time!

Not only that, I didn't do anything embarrassing, I got up for breakfast (a first!) and I wasn't at all hungover...so even though I didn't stay up til half five like some of the cousins, I actually enjoyed the wedding more! This will come as no surprise to the more sober among you, but it did genuinely surprise me - I hadn't realised how much I believed this myth that drink was my happy sauce.

What myths are you believing? What if I were to tell you that it's all a story? We make up stories about everything...who we are, what is happening in our lives, what we need and don't need, other people's motives (which we can't possibly know!). And then we act as if the stories are real. Just for this week, notice what stories you are telling yourself, and ponder the possibility that the exact opposite is true!

Love

Donna.x

Mising In Action

Tomorrow I'm off to Dublin for a family wedding, then when I get back it's me birthday, then I'm off to see the Nutcracker next Tuesday (so obviously I can't work all day!), so I've pretty much got the next week off! It did occur to me that I could do some work Sunday night when I get back from Dublin, and on Tuesday morning/early afternoon. But do you know what? I'm not going to!

Well, I might. But if I do, it'll be because that's what I feel like doing, not because I 'should'. I love the idea of being totally conscientious, but frankly, it makes me very tired. So, for the next week, I will be Missing In Action. And that action will be Enjoying My Life.

If you were to give yourself a bit of a break from what you 'should' do, what could you do instead over the next week?

Love

Donna.x

Your Fairy Godmother

Imagine that you had a Fairy Godmother who could grant every wish you have...what would you put on your list?

Take a couple of minutes now and list what you would wish for if she could wave that magic wand...

And not just 'enough money to pay my bills' or 'a nice car' - really have some fun with this! On my list are 'houses in Sydney, Western Australia, Ireland and a gorgeous Georgian house in England', £1 billion, a cure for cancer.

It's just a bit of fun...enjoy!

Love

Donna.x

Infecting the World

"Biggins is about making the world a happier place and it's infectious."

I spotted this quote in one of the Sunday papers this weekend, and I just love the idea of this! (for those who do not watch rubbish tv, Biggins is Christopher Biggins, King of the Jungle in I'm a Celebrity UK)

What are you about? Are you happy to infect the world with what you're all about? Or are you infecting the world with pessimism, irritation, unhappiness, misery? Unlike a disease, you can choose what infection you bring to the party of life.

How would you love to complete the following sentence "I am about ... and it's infectious."

Personally, I am about making the world a joyful place, and it's infectious.

Love

Donna.x

Start Where You Are

"Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to start where he was." Lao-Tzu

Love

Donna.x

Pursuing Outrageous Joy

In one of the books I've been reading this week, I found the phrase "outrageous joy". It has totally caught my imagination, and I've decided my new 'job' is to find and bring outrageous joy. What does this mean in practice? I have thrown away the 'to do' lists, I am not doing any 'should's, I am spending more time with friends and family, and enjoying each moment as much as I can.

It feels rather good to be honest. No stress, lots of fun - what I imagine 'God' had in mind when life was created.

If your mission in life was to find and bring outrageous joy, what might change in your life?

Love

Donna.x

Enjoy the present moment

How much of your life do you spend in the past? Moaning about it, rehashing it, being nostalgic? How much do you spend in the future? Daydreaming, wishing things were different, getting excited about next week? There is a place in life for learning from and continuing to enjoy the past AND for daydreaming and looking forward to the future, but when you are living in the past or future, you are missing the present.

You can't get this moment back...or this one...or this one. Where do you spend most of your time? Do you make up a story about what might happen in the future, and make judgements about your life based on a maybe! Hmmmmm… What would happen if you just stayed in the present moment? The future will happen no matter how much you worry about it…or how much you DON’T worry about it! And if you don’t worry about it, the present will be more fun!

Or do you live in the past? Worrying about things that have happened, regretting and/or wishing it could be like it was? Hmmmm... What would happen if you stayed in the present moment? The past has happened no matter how much you worry about it (or not!)...and if you don't, the present will be more fun!

If you really stayed present in this moment, not worrying about yesterday, or tomorrow, what could you enjoy far more? I could enjoy the feeling of typing this article, of listening to my music, and of having the dog grumbling at me from under my desk (how dare I move my legs at my own desk?!). You know what? There's a lot to appreciate in this moment - I'm glad I'm not distracted by yesterday and tomorrow!

Love

Donna.x

Responsibility and Ridiculousness

On the way back from the pool today, I got into a little altercation with a man in a car. It was one of those silly things - he pulled out in front of me, I raised my arms as if to say 'what? you couldn't see me?', he started gesticulating wildly and getting cross, I raised the finger, he continued to gesticulate wildly and decided to brake sharply while I leaned on the horn and explained in words of one syllable what a pratt he was!

Ridiculous. Now, his response was inappropriate, over-the-top and absurd (in my opinion!), but I have to take some responsibility for my reaction too...which was also pointless. At first I was just a bit irritated, then I thought 'OY!', then I was really cross. What for? He cut me up...it happens. My reaction was instantaneous and utterly useless - it wasn't going to make any difference at all.

And it did make the situation worse. I could say 'he started it'. I could also say 'he was the one who ...', but ultimately I played a part in it. I could have stepped out of that at any point, and let him take his bad day out on someone else! Ultimately, it is not a big deal - and we both made it much worse than it needed to be. But as I can't control what goes on in his car (much as I'd like to be a self-appointed 'driving police'), I can only control what's happening in mine.

Eventually, I did. I concentrated on my own driving, my own journey, and let him continue his. With my blessings...and a little bit of guilt. Hope his blood pressure is ok now!

What situations (that don't matter) are you adding to, and making worse? Could you do the sensible thing, and just 'step out' of the argument?

Love

Donna.x

The Frustrating Thing

Frustration. I know him well. He is a constant companion of impatience and irritation. All of which are regular visitors, none of whom have been particularly helpful up til now. You see, the way I have dealt with them is to firstly try to ignore them, while their presence gets stronger and stronger until eventually they take over what I am doing, and I work from that angry energy for a while...until I realise it's not helpful and let it go.

If you're feeling frustrated, angry, impatient, irritated, notice that is how you feel. Let yourself feel it for a few minutes...and then LET IT GO. Your frustration may come back for a visit, but you only need have a quick chat on the doorstep before you let it move on again. And again. And again.

Frustration is like a little warning flame - it's only when you try to hold on to it that it burns you.

Love

Donna.x

Are you Being Brilliant?

Inside all of us is the knowledge of who we could be...not the 'stick thin woman trying to get out from under a layer of jaffa cakes', but the core of our being - that bit that knows 'there is more to me than this'. Inside you there is a wonderful, beautiful, loving, brilliant woman (or man). And you know it.

Are you being that Shiny Gorgeous Brilliance? Or is that brilliance hidden behind layers of self-doubt, stress, frustration, anger, and lack of confidence? Chinks of it still shine through - I can see it from here. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to start deliberately allowing that brilliance to shine through.

They'll be able to see you from another galaxy if you do. They'll look up at the stars, and there you will be, shining across a million light years.

Love

Donna.x

The Answer is Right There

It never fails to entertain me how often I am struggling with an issue, then come across other people, clients, friends, random blogs and newsletters that show the same issue... and more importantly show me my answers. Think for a minute of something that you are struggling with, a question you have about your life, something you would like answered. Now take a look around you - are there any friends, clients, family members or random people who have the same issue?

Be prepared to open out on this one - it may not be EXACTLY the same, and they won't be dealing with it in the same way (they are not you, so they can't deal with it your way!). What is the answer for them, as you see it? Can this answer apply to you and your situation?

When you can't see the wood for the trees, look out to the other people in your life to show you the path to take.

Love

Donna,x

Hold one another up

I was at a gig last week in Sheffield, and the lead singer of the band was telling the audience to look after each other, to hold one another up. This was largely because people were being squashed in the mosh pit, and 14 year old girls were passing out over the proximity of Mr Gerard Way (My Chemical Romance).

But it struck me as very good advice in general. There are times (like at my uncle's funeral last month) when you need to physically hold people up or they will fall. And there are more times when holding them up is an emotional, mental and spiritual action.

Who is the wind beneath your wings, and whose wings are you helping to fly?

Love

Donna.x

Crack Pots

I am sure you've seen this story before, it does the rounds of e-mail every few months or so...but I love it!

"An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water. Of course , the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house." The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?"

"That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them." "For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them. SO, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path! "

Have a great weekend!

Love

Donna.x

Reaching Out

I have a confession to make. I am not coping that well. I am pretending that 'it' hasn't happened, because the thought of my uncle's death makes me want to scream and never stop screaming.

That was quite hard to type. It was even harder to say to my friends. I made a promise...after telling friends about my 'mini-nervous breakdown' 7 months after it happened, I promised I would tell them when life was rubbish, not after I was ok again. I was talking to another friend of mine today who does the same thing. 'I'll talk to my friends about it AFTER I've dealt with it'. Sound familiar at all?

The thing is, we might be right, other people might not be able to help. But equally we MIGHT be wrong, and the support and love and encouragement and whatever that our friends can offer might just help us deal with it. Much as it scares me to do so, I think that's a risk worth taking.

Do you?

Love

Donna.x