From the book of doing things the hard way:
Rule number 3: Do everything alone. Get no support. Get no help. Carry the entire project on your shoulders.
BUT if you wanted to make life easier, why not enlist friends? Colleagues? Peers? I have been really lucky this week that the people I have spoken to have supported me unasked, have challenged me unasked, and have inspired me unasked. We just got together for a chat, and I got more out of those chats than I can possibly ever artiulate. It reminded me that 2 heads are better than 1, 5 heads are better than 2...
Whatever you are working on right now, in your private or business life, get support, get a community, get other people to help you. And you never know, there might be someone out there right now who needs your support. Win/win.
Love
Donna.x
PS the first person to e-mail me the name of the film I got the 5 heads bit from wins a free 30 minute coaching session - might be just the support you need!
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
This is the Truth
This morning, I received a short film that really, says it all.
Even in the most dreadful circumstances, there is beauty to be found in the world.
If this guy could do it in the concentration camps, you can do it in the office!
Light in The Darkness
Love
Donna.x
Even in the most dreadful circumstances, there is beauty to be found in the world.
If this guy could do it in the concentration camps, you can do it in the office!
Light in The Darkness
Love
Donna.x
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Push You, Pull Me
Are your relationships balanced? Do your friends and family support you as you support them? I know that sometimes we need more support than we can give and sometimes our friends and family need us more than we need them.
But taking the long view, looking at the relationship overall, are you giving more than you receive? Consistently? Are you asking for the support you need? Or are you trying to be superwoman/man?
Relationships, friendships are all about mutual support, love, encouragement. If you're not getting that, maybe it's time to change things? (by the way this doesn't have to mean you sack all your friends...it might just mean you need to ask for their support!)
You deserve this support.
Love
Donna.x
But taking the long view, looking at the relationship overall, are you giving more than you receive? Consistently? Are you asking for the support you need? Or are you trying to be superwoman/man?
Relationships, friendships are all about mutual support, love, encouragement. If you're not getting that, maybe it's time to change things? (by the way this doesn't have to mean you sack all your friends...it might just mean you need to ask for their support!)
You deserve this support.
Love
Donna.x
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
The Longing behind the Should
This week I wrote a newsletter about the demon 'shoulds' - those things that we 'should' do and feel terrible about because we don't do. I asked readers to take a look at what was behind the should - for example, behind 'I should diet' is 'I want to feel good about myself'. The idea is to find what you really want, because there are other ways. In this case, raising confidence, eating better, dressing well, exercising will all accomplish the desired result. No diet recquired.
The same concept (sychronistically) came up in a client session today, and my client put it perfectly. "Find the longing behind the should". When you find the desire fuelling the should, you will find the drive to do what you want to do...and it won't be a should, must, have to or ought to anymore. It'll be a want. Much easier...and no diet recquired!
love
Donna.x
The same concept (sychronistically) came up in a client session today, and my client put it perfectly. "Find the longing behind the should". When you find the desire fuelling the should, you will find the drive to do what you want to do...and it won't be a should, must, have to or ought to anymore. It'll be a want. Much easier...and no diet recquired!
love
Donna.x
Monday, January 21, 2008
To Start With
Do you have a project that is lying unfinished, unattended to, unloved that you actually really WANT to do, but never seem to get to? My project for this category is my ebook(s)/Ecourse(s). I really want to get them done, I am constantly meeting people who would enjoy them and find them useful, and yet I never seem to get to writing them.
So guess how I started the day today? Yes, I set my timer for an hour and wrote. Funnily enough, once I got into it, I actually went way past the hour. And having done that, I can continue with my usual fannying about for the rest of the day safe in the knowledge that the one thing I really wanted to get to today has been done already.
Move the projects that mean the most to you up your priority list. If you can, start the day with them. Or start the evening with them (before Eastenders!). The most important choice you make is what you choose to make important.
Love
Donna.x
So guess how I started the day today? Yes, I set my timer for an hour and wrote. Funnily enough, once I got into it, I actually went way past the hour. And having done that, I can continue with my usual fannying about for the rest of the day safe in the knowledge that the one thing I really wanted to get to today has been done already.
Move the projects that mean the most to you up your priority list. If you can, start the day with them. Or start the evening with them (before Eastenders!). The most important choice you make is what you choose to make important.
Love
Donna.x
Friday, January 18, 2008
Time For a Clearout
It's coming to that time for me again, the time when I feel like I need to throw some stuff out! Early spring cleaning.
If you feel like joining me in a clearout, remember if you don't love it, let it go.
Have a great weekend!
Love
Donna.x
If you feel like joining me in a clearout, remember if you don't love it, let it go.
Have a great weekend!
Love
Donna.x
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Playing the Game
The Game of Life.
How are you playing? Are you fighting over ever throw of the dice, taking it all personally, giving up after a few throws, deciding that you will never win so why play, getting pissed off with other players for getting the wins that you wanted, sulking, taking it very seriously or being enormously competitive?
In other words, are you forgetting that it's a game? Life (in my humble opinion) is FUN! We get to do some really cool stuff on this planet - dancing, laughing, horizontal exercise ;-), bouncing, loving, being with friends, watching crap tv, seeing the sunrise and set, watching the seasons turn and the kids grow.
When you remember that its a game to be played and enjoyed, you can change your experience of it. Instead of it being hard and stressful, it becomes easy and fun...and you get to learn to play better rather than making the same mistakes over again. And the best thing about this game? There are no losers. You can only win the game of life.
Love
Donna.x
How are you playing? Are you fighting over ever throw of the dice, taking it all personally, giving up after a few throws, deciding that you will never win so why play, getting pissed off with other players for getting the wins that you wanted, sulking, taking it very seriously or being enormously competitive?
In other words, are you forgetting that it's a game? Life (in my humble opinion) is FUN! We get to do some really cool stuff on this planet - dancing, laughing, horizontal exercise ;-), bouncing, loving, being with friends, watching crap tv, seeing the sunrise and set, watching the seasons turn and the kids grow.
When you remember that its a game to be played and enjoyed, you can change your experience of it. Instead of it being hard and stressful, it becomes easy and fun...and you get to learn to play better rather than making the same mistakes over again. And the best thing about this game? There are no losers. You can only win the game of life.
Love
Donna.x
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
What a BUZZ!
I am really buzzing today (unimaginable on Monday, when I was busy having a BAD DAY!). Part of the difference (as well as being more cheerful in general!) is that i went to my Toastmasters club last night and reconnected with the lovely people there. I went to Toastmasters initially to learn to be a good speaker, and discovered to my rapture that it was great fun, I've met some lovely friends, AND I'm a far better speaker.
But over recent months, I've not been to my club. First it was a holiday, then I lost my uncle and was in no mood to go out, then it was winter and cold and dark, then I'd got out of the habit and forgotten how wonderful it was! Honestly, if you have any interest in public speaking, in improving your confidence, or in meeting some really interesting and fun people, go find yourself a Toastmasters club.
Love
Donna.x
But over recent months, I've not been to my club. First it was a holiday, then I lost my uncle and was in no mood to go out, then it was winter and cold and dark, then I'd got out of the habit and forgotten how wonderful it was! Honestly, if you have any interest in public speaking, in improving your confidence, or in meeting some really interesting and fun people, go find yourself a Toastmasters club.
Love
Donna.x
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
A weather lesson
"All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to Criticism."
I've seen this one a few times before, and always love it! Thanks to my mate Hils who sent the e-mail containing this today. Ain't it true? We brits love to discuss (moan) about the weather...but it takes absolutely no notice. Just carries on doing it's own thing.
Imagine it. You are oblivious to what 'other people' might say or think, you just carry on doing your own thing... How might you have lived your life differently? How could you live life differently now? It's your life, are you the one living it?
Love
Donna.x
It pays no attention to Criticism."
I've seen this one a few times before, and always love it! Thanks to my mate Hils who sent the e-mail containing this today. Ain't it true? We brits love to discuss (moan) about the weather...but it takes absolutely no notice. Just carries on doing it's own thing.
Imagine it. You are oblivious to what 'other people' might say or think, you just carry on doing your own thing... How might you have lived your life differently? How could you live life differently now? It's your life, are you the one living it?
Love
Donna.x
Monday, January 14, 2008
Feeling Very Monday-ish
I've been feeling very Monday-ish today. When I started working for myself, I deliberately arranged Mondays so that I wouldn't have to feel Monday-ish. Today, it didn't work. I am feeling under-enthused, unmotivated, uninspired, not really like working at all.
In fact, I've felt like doing chores! It's most unlike me, I normally hate doing chores because I'd rather do something interesting. Not today, I'm just in the mood for repetitive, boring things I don't really need to concentrate on.
Now you'd think as a coach, I would be 'geeing myself up' and employing positive thinking techniques. However, I've never been a big fan of pretending I feel great when I actually feel a bit ordinary. To me, that's denial! Instead, I have spent the day just reaching for a slightly better feeling, then a slightly better one, then a slightly better one...and so on.
Massive leaps in mood are difficult, from depression to joy is a long way when you're down there. But you can feel a little better, and a little better, until you are feeling a lot better! Just remember to work from where you are. We all have monday-ish days, where we're just not feeling the best. If you can, allow yourself to be fed up for a bit, then just ask of yourself a slightly better feeling.
It's a lot easier to climb the ladder one rung at a time than to leap six feet (miss, fall down and feel even more battered and bruised than you did before!).
Love
Donna.x
In fact, I've felt like doing chores! It's most unlike me, I normally hate doing chores because I'd rather do something interesting. Not today, I'm just in the mood for repetitive, boring things I don't really need to concentrate on.
Now you'd think as a coach, I would be 'geeing myself up' and employing positive thinking techniques. However, I've never been a big fan of pretending I feel great when I actually feel a bit ordinary. To me, that's denial! Instead, I have spent the day just reaching for a slightly better feeling, then a slightly better one, then a slightly better one...and so on.
Massive leaps in mood are difficult, from depression to joy is a long way when you're down there. But you can feel a little better, and a little better, until you are feeling a lot better! Just remember to work from where you are. We all have monday-ish days, where we're just not feeling the best. If you can, allow yourself to be fed up for a bit, then just ask of yourself a slightly better feeling.
It's a lot easier to climb the ladder one rung at a time than to leap six feet (miss, fall down and feel even more battered and bruised than you did before!).
Love
Donna.x
Friday, January 11, 2008
Confronting Obstacles
In a novel, Isabel Allende writes "Confront obstacles as they appear, don't waste energy fearing what you may meet in the future."
Imagine the energy you would free up if you refused to worry about anything you couldn't confront right now...not turning a blind eye, or militantly ignoring an obstacle that's biting your bum, but refusing to worry and stress over something that might never happen.
Personally, I'd have freed up about 5 years of the last 35!!!
Here's to a fear and worry free weekend!
Love
Donna.x
Imagine the energy you would free up if you refused to worry about anything you couldn't confront right now...not turning a blind eye, or militantly ignoring an obstacle that's biting your bum, but refusing to worry and stress over something that might never happen.
Personally, I'd have freed up about 5 years of the last 35!!!
Here's to a fear and worry free weekend!
Love
Donna.x
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Knowing How to Heal You
I was listening to a radio show today from Caroline Myss on Hay House Radio in which she mentioned that all of us know more about how to heal ourselves than we actually do. For example, we know we need more exercise, better food, more sunshine, more rest...but we don't do it.
Here's an experiment for you: Think of 3 things that you know would help your health...and this week committ to doing them.
Here's to a Happy and Healthy you!
Love
Donna.x
Here's an experiment for you: Think of 3 things that you know would help your health...and this week committ to doing them.
Here's to a Happy and Healthy you!
Love
Donna.x
Monday, January 07, 2008
Back in the Saddle
HELLO! I'm back y'all.
My apologies to anyone who expected, wanted, looked for an update on this blog over Christmas...what can I say?! I didn't really intend to be quite so offline as I was this Christmas, but I have to say, it's been marvellous! I'm only just realising just how marvelous it was to have time to just chill, and think, and plan the year, and play games, read other people's blogs, and potter about.
Now I'm back to it, and today discovered (or uncovered if you like!) my main intention for 2008 - TO ENJOY LIFE! I have been marinating in all my ideas, hopes and dreams for the coming year, and when I stopped to ask myself the one most important thing (by talking to my archetypes, wild woman, future self and so on*)...ENJOY LIFE was the one.
If you similarly wish to enjoy your life this year, I'd like to share 2 practices with you that I started (again) today:
1. Toleration busting - this is where you make a list of 100 things that are irritating you - from the dusty laptop to the 10 extra p0unds you're carrying. From the itsy-bitsy unimportant things to the life changing. Once you've got stuff on your list, the game is to fix one thing a day (at least). Pick the easiest thing to change...you will be amazed at how much energy this frees up, and how much more enjoyment you start getting from life without this minor irritations.
2. The list of stuff you love to do. 100 things you love doing - the game here is to do as many of them as you can fit in on a daily basis...you may not be able to walk on the beach daily, but you can read a book for 10 minutes. Again, you'll be amazed at how great this exercise is! You start to notice how much stuff you do that you love, and to enjoy it fully...like you do when you're new to something, really appreciating the stuff you get to do.
Love Life
Love
Donna.x
* By the way, if you're interested in archetypes, future selves, etc, feel free to get in touch - I love doing this stuff!!!
My apologies to anyone who expected, wanted, looked for an update on this blog over Christmas...what can I say?! I didn't really intend to be quite so offline as I was this Christmas, but I have to say, it's been marvellous! I'm only just realising just how marvelous it was to have time to just chill, and think, and plan the year, and play games, read other people's blogs, and potter about.
Now I'm back to it, and today discovered (or uncovered if you like!) my main intention for 2008 - TO ENJOY LIFE! I have been marinating in all my ideas, hopes and dreams for the coming year, and when I stopped to ask myself the one most important thing (by talking to my archetypes, wild woman, future self and so on*)...ENJOY LIFE was the one.
If you similarly wish to enjoy your life this year, I'd like to share 2 practices with you that I started (again) today:
1. Toleration busting - this is where you make a list of 100 things that are irritating you - from the dusty laptop to the 10 extra p0unds you're carrying. From the itsy-bitsy unimportant things to the life changing. Once you've got stuff on your list, the game is to fix one thing a day (at least). Pick the easiest thing to change...you will be amazed at how much energy this frees up, and how much more enjoyment you start getting from life without this minor irritations.
2. The list of stuff you love to do. 100 things you love doing - the game here is to do as many of them as you can fit in on a daily basis...you may not be able to walk on the beach daily, but you can read a book for 10 minutes. Again, you'll be amazed at how great this exercise is! You start to notice how much stuff you do that you love, and to enjoy it fully...like you do when you're new to something, really appreciating the stuff you get to do.
Love Life
Love
Donna.x
* By the way, if you're interested in archetypes, future selves, etc, feel free to get in touch - I love doing this stuff!!!
Thursday, December 20, 2007
A Present of Joy for Christmas Day
I was just speaking to a client tonight, when I had a brilliant idea (which came from 'outside' of me, as all the best ideas do!). I asked my client to write a list of all the things they have done this year to be proud of, all the fun moments they've had, all the moments of joy they can remember. Then seal this list in an envelope and open it on christmas day.
What a lovely present to yourself, to remind yourself on this one funky day of just how wonderful life is, and has been, and how great you are! So, this weekend, if you've got a few minutes to spare, dash off a list of joyful moments, things you're proud of and have achieved, and give yourself the gift of a joyful memory reel for Christmas.
Love
Donna.x
PS i suggest 100 things, but 20 will work too! Go...do, I'm off to do mine...
What a lovely present to yourself, to remind yourself on this one funky day of just how wonderful life is, and has been, and how great you are! So, this weekend, if you've got a few minutes to spare, dash off a list of joyful moments, things you're proud of and have achieved, and give yourself the gift of a joyful memory reel for Christmas.
Love
Donna.x
PS i suggest 100 things, but 20 will work too! Go...do, I'm off to do mine...
Ready to Receive
Santa has a box of wealth, health, happiness, love, luck and joy for you to enjoy in 2008. Are you ready to receive it? Put it this way, if you have a hard time accepting a compliment, you might struggle a bit to receive all this good stuff!!!
This Christmas, play with the idea that you do deserve ALL the good things that come your way (and if you are unfortunate enough to receive 'bad' things this xmas, you deserve BETTER!). Get ready to receive the wealth, health, happiness, love, luck and joy...
Because you ARE worth it.
Love
Donna.x
This Christmas, play with the idea that you do deserve ALL the good things that come your way (and if you are unfortunate enough to receive 'bad' things this xmas, you deserve BETTER!). Get ready to receive the wealth, health, happiness, love, luck and joy...
Because you ARE worth it.
Love
Donna.x
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Mayhem Outside, Hibernation Inside
Listening to the radio today, I heard there were traffic jams, people out manically shopping and general chaos. I was in it myself yesterday when I popped to town to finish my shopping. It's mad out there. In here, there is a roaring fire, blankets, books, writing materials and drinks. I'm set for the night - I will be staying in the warm and the peace and the quiet (well, quiet-ish - the radio is blaring!).
It's winter-time, it's December, it's cold (in England anyway), it's a time when the rest of nature hibernates...and we all go bananas Christmas shopping! What's wrong with this picture? I have long been of the opinion that we should get December off work to just chill, and sleep, and hibernate. (And a summer month off to enjoy summer, but that's another story!) This December, gift yourself at least one night to sit in front of a warm fire with a book and your choice of food and drink.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand Relax...
Love
Donna.x
It's winter-time, it's December, it's cold (in England anyway), it's a time when the rest of nature hibernates...and we all go bananas Christmas shopping! What's wrong with this picture? I have long been of the opinion that we should get December off work to just chill, and sleep, and hibernate. (And a summer month off to enjoy summer, but that's another story!) This December, gift yourself at least one night to sit in front of a warm fire with a book and your choice of food and drink.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand Relax...
Love
Donna.x
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Happy Christmas Your Arse
In all the furore over 'Fairytale of New York', I realised a HUGE mistake in my newsletter this week - I quoted 'Merry Christmas your arse' instead of 'Happy Christmas your arse'. Oopsie. My apologies.
If you haven't seen the (ridiculous) furore, Radio 1 decided to bleep out 'faggot' from the song in case it offended batches anywhere, or something, and then changed their mind. The only good thing about this absurdity is the exposure the song gets...I do hope it gets to number one!
I am slightly reluctant to point it out in case it causes another furore, but has anyone noticed they say 'arse'?! OH MY GOD. I'm stunned people haven't been complaining for the last 20 years about it.
Hopefully they have better things to do with their time. Sing with me 'It was Christmas Eve babe, in the drunk tank'...
Love
Donna.x
If you haven't seen the (ridiculous) furore, Radio 1 decided to bleep out 'faggot' from the song in case it offended batches anywhere, or something, and then changed their mind. The only good thing about this absurdity is the exposure the song gets...I do hope it gets to number one!
I am slightly reluctant to point it out in case it causes another furore, but has anyone noticed they say 'arse'?! OH MY GOD. I'm stunned people haven't been complaining for the last 20 years about it.
Hopefully they have better things to do with their time. Sing with me 'It was Christmas Eve babe, in the drunk tank'...
Love
Donna.x
Monday, December 17, 2007
A Letter To Father Christmas
When was the last time you wrote a letter to Father Christmas? 10, 20, 30, too many years! I know that when we're about 8 we discover that Father Christmas isn't real...and then the magic gradually seeps out of Christmas. I got an e-mail today from Sarah Ban Breathnach reminding me to send my letter to Santa...and reconnect to the magic of the season, which funnily enough was also the subject of my newsletter today.
That letter to Father Christmas seems like a darn fine way to do that to me...and WHAT IF all the grown-ups were wrong, and there really is a Santa?!
Love
Donna.x
That letter to Father Christmas seems like a darn fine way to do that to me...and WHAT IF all the grown-ups were wrong, and there really is a Santa?!
Love
Donna.x
Friday, December 14, 2007
Stuck for Words
I have been sat in front of my laptop for the past 10 minutes, wondering what to write...after all, I've only been in the office 1 day so far this week, and therefore only one blog entry. Guess what? I can't think of a darned thing to write. The ridiculous thing is that I have about 200 ideas in my notebook...but none of them are inspiring anything today.
I wonder if that's because I am trying to write because I 'should' and I don't want to let readers down instead of because I want to and have something to say? Think I've hit the nail on the head there!
Do you find that when you do something because you 'should' it is harder to do than when you want to? What can you do to do more you want and less you should?
My answer is 'yes', and I can finish here...without saying anything...
Love
Donna.x
I wonder if that's because I am trying to write because I 'should' and I don't want to let readers down instead of because I want to and have something to say? Think I've hit the nail on the head there!
Do you find that when you do something because you 'should' it is harder to do than when you want to? What can you do to do more you want and less you should?
My answer is 'yes', and I can finish here...without saying anything...
Love
Donna.x
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Exploding Myths
Over the weekend I was in Dublin for my cousin's wedding - magnificent by the way - and exploded a myth that I had long held. The myth was that I couldn't enjoy an occassion like a wedding when I was the only sober person there. (Once upon a time I was a big drinker, and it was the 'happy sauce' to my night's out!) On Friday I had 3 halves of lager in 7 hours (not enough to get even me drunk!) and had a marvelous time!
Not only that, I didn't do anything embarrassing, I got up for breakfast (a first!) and I wasn't at all hungover...so even though I didn't stay up til half five like some of the cousins, I actually enjoyed the wedding more! This will come as no surprise to the more sober among you, but it did genuinely surprise me - I hadn't realised how much I believed this myth that drink was my happy sauce.
What myths are you believing? What if I were to tell you that it's all a story? We make up stories about everything...who we are, what is happening in our lives, what we need and don't need, other people's motives (which we can't possibly know!). And then we act as if the stories are real. Just for this week, notice what stories you are telling yourself, and ponder the possibility that the exact opposite is true!
Love
Donna.x
Not only that, I didn't do anything embarrassing, I got up for breakfast (a first!) and I wasn't at all hungover...so even though I didn't stay up til half five like some of the cousins, I actually enjoyed the wedding more! This will come as no surprise to the more sober among you, but it did genuinely surprise me - I hadn't realised how much I believed this myth that drink was my happy sauce.
What myths are you believing? What if I were to tell you that it's all a story? We make up stories about everything...who we are, what is happening in our lives, what we need and don't need, other people's motives (which we can't possibly know!). And then we act as if the stories are real. Just for this week, notice what stories you are telling yourself, and ponder the possibility that the exact opposite is true!
Love
Donna.x
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