Maybe They Won't LIke Me

Unusually today, this is a crossover post between my own blog, and the Your Natural Way blog. This is a central idea to the Your Natural Way philosophy...and to my philosophy that 'Life's a Beach'. Your Authentic, Natural, True self is your best self.

People often worry that if they expose their real self, other people won't like them. And that would be bad. It is a really common misconception, and I'm not entirely sure where it comes from (possibly the skool daze, where anything different had other kids pointing and laughing!).

But here's what I know from working with hundreds of people to be more authentic in life and business:
- authentic people are a heck of a lot more likeable than those who wear a mask
- there is a certain energy around authentic, natural people that other people like
- everyone wants more authenticity, so the more natural you are, the more other people seem to gravitate towards you
- when you are being your most natural, authentic self, you don't really care what other people think.
- If someone doesn't like the 'real' you, it's ok...we're not all compatible with one another. When you are natural, and someone else doesn't like that, you are happy to let them get on with it - knowing that you are being your best self.
- being yourself gives other people permission to do the same around you, and that is the greatest gift you can give.

Don't worry that people might not like the 'real' you - trust me, YOU will like yourself a whole lot more when you stop pretending to be someone else.

Love

Donna.x

Wonderful Words

Have you ever noticed that the english language (and for that matter, every language) is full of wonderful words? I'm busy creating a 'body confidence' workshop at the moment, and part of that is to look at the words we use about ourselves - all too often it's not 'stunning', 'gorgeous', 'beautiful', 'irresistable' but 'fat', 'ugly', 'stupid'.

You may think that your language is unimportant, but there is power in words. (think of the power the media have...it's all words) And not only are there some magnificent words that we can use for ourselves, there are also just magnificent words - words that make you feel good! I love the words 'remarkable', 'barmy', 'ecstatic'...just to hear them and use them makes me smile.

I could go on with a hundred more marvelous words...but instead I'll set you a challenge. Notice today (this week, this month, this year...) what words excite and amuse you. Then use them!

Gramatically yours

Love

Donna.x

Chaos under the Heavens

Chinese proverb:

“There is chaos under the heavens and the situation is excellent.”

I came across this quote a while ago, and for some reason, just love it. Let's face it, life is mainly mayhem...might as well enjoy and appreciate that!

Wishing you a chaotic, and excellent weekend!

Love

Donna.x

Funny Memories

An old friend I've been back in touch with via Facebook (my favourite procrastination tool!) has been reminding me of funny memories today. Who knew that the word 'composure' could have me in fits of laughter for 5 minutes? Well, Mark did. But I'd completely forgotten. It got me thinking about other funny memories - sheldon high street (Julie), the roof of my parent's house (Claire), Warwick Castle (another Julie), the Wombles (Zena)...

I have so many memories of laughing so hard my cheeks hurt...and it's given me a lovely morning to wallow in those and laugh aloud again...just at the memory. I find it hard to believe that sometimes I take myself a bit seriously...but I do! I forget that laughter is my favourite state of being. Remembered laughter has re-awoken my sense of the ridiculous...and put me right back in my rightful place as a giggler!

Do you spend time enjoying your funny memories? Do you take yourself far too seriously sometimes? Stop being sensible...start laughing.

Love

Donna.x

Keep Your Pecker Up

With my clients (and myself) I have noticed a definite cycle of highs and lows - one week you are fully cared for, fully energetic and feeling great...a couple of weeks later the self care has slipped, the energy is low, and you're feeling low. I highly recommend that you notice these ups and downs and take steps to keep the levels high.

For example, I know I feel at my best when I am cared for, energetic and enthusiastic, so I notice when any of those dip below about 70%, and take steps. A few of the things that help me 'keep my pecker up' are reading and listening to inspirational people; taking 'me' time daily; walking in nature daily (although probably not today as it's pissing down!); listening to loud music, and reading trashy novels.

Imagine if you could glide gracefully through life's ups and downs without crashing and burning every few months. Imagine further if life could just be great, all the time...

What are you doing to keep your pecker up? ;-)

Love

Donna.x

The Rules

These are my rules (for me):

1. Self care
2. Gratitude
3. Vision
4. Inspired Action
5. Be present
6. Allow others to be where they are

The good thing about these rules is that when life feels difficult I can go back to step 1: self care.

It all stems from there.

What are your rules for yourself? And do they nurture you or make life harder for you?

Love

Donna.x

Waiting for Inspriation to Hit

There are times when no matter how much I 'think', I can't think of a darn thing to say. I know I have tons of things I could write about, but they are unfortunately locked down in a brain that is full of cotton wool. My throat infection has cleared up, leaving a lovely snotty nose and thick head in it's wake. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the difference - feeling like I'm swallowing razor blades is never good news.

So, today's lesson is: When inspiration isn't striking, maybe it's time to do something else - in my case, snooze! I'm certain I'll be inspired once I've had a snooze. Not that it'll hit the blog til Monday though - I suspect my afternoon snooze will spell the end of the working week for me.

Have a great weekend!

Love

Donna.x

Nothing Wrong

What are you doing wrong? Nothing.

What is wrong with you? Nothing.

What is the source of the dissatisfaction in your life? Thinking that you're doing it wrong or there's something wrong with you!

Could you believe that you are perfect just as you are?

Love

Donna.x

I Wanna Be...

Following on from yesterday's post, I wanted to share with you something I do daily - I decide three things that I want to be today. Today it is calm, gentle and kind - the main recipient of this is me because I have a throat infection and feel very sorry for myself! Imagine that. Not only being calm, gentle and kind to others, but also calm, gentle and kind to yourself.

Phew, that's just what the doctor ordered!

Who do you want to be today?

Love

Donna.x

Who Do You Want to BE?

As a coach, I am in the business of helping people to change their lives to what they want to be, do and have. Most people only really think about what they want to do, and what they want to have. What about who you want to be? Often this is the reason behind the doing and having anyway...we just don't look at it. For example, I want a thriving business so that I can BE financially free, successful, relaxed.

I want a boyfriend because I want to be loved and adored ;-). When you take it back to who you want to be, you realise something very interesting. You can BE those things before you have and do. I am already loved, adored, relaxed, successful and financially free (to an extent!). And 'being' more loveable, adorable, relaxed, successful and financially free will allow me to have more and do more that give me that feeling. It's a virtuous circle.

So, who do you want to be?

Love

Donna.x

Groundhog Day

Regular readers will know that I have a penchant for crap, schmaltzy films. Yesterday I caught the last hour or so of Groundhog Day - pure schmaltz! Once again, these cheesy films have a serious message - maybe this repeated day isn't a curse, suggests Andie MacDowell. How do you see your 'groundhog day's? Those repetitive, get up, go to work, same old, same old kind of days - we all have them...do you see yours as a curse or a gift?

Imagine if you really did repeat exactly the same day again and again, what would you do? Bill (Murray) saved some lives, learnt to play piano, did some ice sculpture, and ended by doing lots of good deeds and becoming the most popular guy in town. It's only when he is genuinely doing his best to be a good man that he is allowed to move onto another day...

Ok, we aren't doomed (or blessed) to repeat the day again and again until we get it right, but if you did have a day that would repeat over and over, what would you do? What would you learn? What would you do differently? What new skill would you pick up? Go on, have a think about it - if you had that day repeated 100 times, what would you do with it?

Once you get past the 'spend a fortune at the shops' type answers and into the 'learn french' or 'train as a nurse' type answers...why aren't you doing them now? There may be a very good reason why not (like 'learning to ski'...'can't be arsed'!), but there also might be things on there that there is no good reason not to do today.

Love

Donna.x

Intuitively

I have long been an advocate of following your intuition...and today I realised that I miss half of my intuitive nudges as 'random thought's or 'I can't do that's. Take today, I got a nudge to e-mail Sara Cox (radio 1 DJ), because she inspired the next edition of my newsletter. Normally, I wouldn't have followed that...but today I did.

I have no idea what the outcome of that 'nudge' will be, but it barely matters - the buzz from following that intuitive nudge was worth it, and now I know a little better what the voice of inspiration sounds like, and that voice knows I'm listening so it's more likely to talk (after all, why bother talking if you're not being heard?).

I wonder what flashes of inspiration you are dismissing as momentary barmy thoughts?

Love

Donna.x

Life's a Beach

What with the magnificent weather (ok, we've had 3 days of it...and yes, I am getting carried away), and the summer holidays well under way, it occurred to me that a renewed explanation of the whole concept that 'life's a beach' is in order. I work one to one with people to help them change their lives so that 'real' life becomes a holiday!

You know how on holiday you are relaxed, calm, happy, joyful, having fun? Well, I don't see why life can't be like that 52 weeks a year. You don't necessarily need to be on the beach to be relaxed, calm, happy, joyful, having fun do you? But this seems to be pretty much the only time that a lot of people manage to be all of those at once. There is no earthly reason why you should have a life that is 90% crap, and 10% good.

Life's a Beach - and the quicker you realise it, the faster you can get a life that feels like a holiday!

Love

Donna.x

Happy 200th post!

Well, I was on my way into my account, wondering what the heck I would write about today when I spotted the interesting statistic '199 posts'. Meaning, that this baby is the 200th. How the dickens did that happen?! Especially as number 100 slipped past without me even noticing. Now, as I write on a few blogs, publish a couple of newsletters, and seem to write quite a lot, I often get asked 'how' to write.

Simple. Write. Looking back at some of the things I have written over the past year, I can say I have written some bilge! I have also written some really good stuff, which has been fun for me, and useful for readers. Whether it's bilge or brilliance, the key is to do it and keep doing it. The same applies to anything you want to do - you can't climb a mountain in one huge bound, you must take it one step at a time.

One action at a time will take you inexorably towards the life that you want. One at a time, until suddenly there are 200...and you are better at taking action, because you do it all the time. With the writing example, my articles are better now than they were when I first starting writing 3 years ago, and in another 3 years, I will be a better writer still...not because I sit around wishing I wrote better, but because I write.

What do you wish you could do...that you just don't do?! And might today be the time to start, so this time next year you can say 'blimey, look how far I've come?'

Love

Donna.x

How to Waste Time and Throw Sheep at People

I have one word for you:

Facebook.

My favourite procrastination aide-du-jour. Now, I could attempt to build a business case for fecking around on Facebook - to do with networking, making contacts and deepening connections - however, today it's all been about getting back in touch with old mates. My Monday Morning was very exciting because I heard from an old mate I haven't seen in years. Hazah!

Even better, there's an app in Facebook that allows you to poke, cuddle, buy beer for, and best of all, throw sheep at, your friends. It has been a source of some astonishment to me today that I am so deeply entertained by that fact. I think I need to get away from t'internet...it's getting a little silly. And I haven't got a stitch of work done when not on the phone to a client.

Have you thrown a sheep at someone today? (VIRTUALLY. Please don't try this in the 'real' world.)

Love

Donna.x

Goodbye Jackie

Yesterday I was at a funeral for a family friend. Death and funerals really test my ability to see the bright side, and bring up all my reactions to this optimistic shit! There's nothing bloody good about it!

But of course, there is. I would much rather there hadn't been a funeral...but there was, so I looked deep for the silver lining in this particular cloud. There were well over 100 people there, all who loved Jackie and wanted to be there to express that. It brought together people who had not seen each other for years, and I got to spend a day with family and friends.

It would be nice if it had been in better circumstances, but nevertheless I am grateful for the opportunity to have family friends look at me askance, telling me they remember me as 'a little blonde girl'. I am grateful for the chance to meet the kids while they are still little and giggly. And I am grateful I knew Jackie and have memories of her that make me smile.

I hope her eccentricity goes with her wherever she's gone.

Love

Donna.x

Why Worry?

Shantideva said

“If you can solve your problem, then what's the need of worrying? If you cannot solve it, then what's the use of worrying?”

Good question!

Love

Donna.x

Down Memory Lane

I have been racking my brains for something important, relevant and life-changing (like the usual posts!) for you today...but all I can think of is that a band I like are doing a Greatest Hits tour this winter.

No, not the Spice Girls!

A band I am sure you've never heard of - Shed 7. Britpop pioneers (apparently), and good live band. Part of the excitement is that I haven't listened to any of their albums for about 5 years - in fact, it took me half an hour to find them because they'd been put in the 'I don't listen to this' place. And most of the excitement is the nostalgia...Speakeasy reminds me (not of an advert) of winter and long hot baths (don't ask why, I have no idea!). Chasing Rainbows reminds me of smoky clubs and good times.

And the gig itself reminds me of dragging my friend along to see them, bouncing up and down for a couple of hours, and coming home from wolverhampton partially deaf. Can't wait to recreate the experience!

Next time something takes you down memory lane, take the time to really appreciate the nostalgia - we have all had good times that just get forgotten...it's lovely to relive some of the highlights (but without the hangovers and the knowledge of a mid-twenties crisis looming!).

Love

Donna.x

Do You Want To?

Interesting question isn't it? Do you want to? How often do you ask yourself this? I ask myself if I want to A LOT. It normally explains why I'm procrastinating or endlessly debating whether to do something or not. Take this morning and my dance class - shall I or shan't I? I woke up with this question in mind. Shall I or shan't I? Well, I've got lots to do here, but I really enjoy it. I don't know if I feel like it but I know it's a laugh. I could do something else instead but I love my dance class.

And ultimately: Do I want to? NO! If I did, I wouldn't be wondering whether or not to go! I'd be getting ready to go. Despite the fact that I love my dance class, it's fun, I have a laugh, I like to see my friends there, I enjoy it, and it helps me get fit ...I didn't want to go! No particular reason, just didn't want to. And I'm glad I didn't go, because I got to do some other stuff that I wouldn't have got to otherwise.

I know sometimes it's not much of a choice, but at least ask the question. For example, do I want to go to work today? NO. Do I want to go to work any day? NO. I have to go to work...but that answer tells me I need to find something else to do with my days. That's a real conversation I had with myself 8 years ago...and again 4 years ago. See, you can 'make' yourself do anything - go to a job you hate, be with a partner you don't love, go to a dance class...

...but why do that if you don't want to?

Love

Donna.x

Finding Yourself

Have you ever heard the saying that what you want to find in the outside world is already inside you? Have you ever known anyone who goes away to 'find themselves'? Why would you go away to do this when it is inside?

Well, as someone who did this, I can tell you that sometimes you just cannot see what is inside. I went travelling in Australia for a year and discovered a relaxed, joyful, optimistic, fun, loving, peaceful, spontaneous, decisive Donna I previously hadn't suspected existed! Sometimes you need the change of scenery to see yourself.

There's another way...just start searching inside for what you want. I'm glad I didn't know this 7 years ago, or I might not have gone away...and now I don't need such drastic action! What are you looking for? What are your ambitions? What will they bring you? Success? Joy? Love? Peace of Mind? Look inside and you will see that you are already successful, joyful, loving (and loved), and underneath all the chaos hides peace of mind!

Some people fear to look inside, thnking they might not like what they see. What they don't realise is that your soul, your insides are the most beautiful thing in the world. Go on, take a look...

Love

Donna.x