Let's get Happy

I'm reading Michael Neill's 'Feel Happy Now' at the moment, and there is a cool exercise in there - how happy are you now, on a scale of 1-10? What could you do to take yourself one point higher? EG if you're a 7, what could you do now to take yourself to an 8?

Sounds quite simple, eh? Yes, and I've been experimenting with this for a few days, and each time I have managed to take my happiness level up a notch within seconds - sitting up straighter, thinking a better thought, doing something i want to do, remembering that life's all good...always!

I realised 3 things: 1. Happiness is a choice, we just choose unconsciously ... and badly! 2. I can change my level of happiness easily and quickly. 3. Being happier is much better than feeling sadder!

Experiment with this today and see your happiness levels rise!

Love

Donna.x
PS anybody know where I can get a nice ankle chain? I've broken my old ones and I NEED a new one, or two...the trouble is, I got lots of nice ones in Australia (that lasted years), and the ones I've found since are not robust or pretty enough for me. Any help welcomed!

A disturbing statistic

I got my new card from the Blood donor service today - I've given blood 10 times. Woo hoo.

With my new 'gold' card, I also got a letter with the disturbing statistic that only 6% of people who CAN give blood, do. Now, I know some of you will not want to and will have a horror of needles. Almost a month ago, I wrote another post about this - I did something amazing today please read it if you haven't already.

And please, please consider going to give blood. It takes 10 minutes once every 3 months, and you could save someones life. Go to the national blood service (uk) website to find out where and when you can give.

Please. Please - do something amazing today. And please, forward this to anyone you know who might be interested in doing something amazing. 6% is a horrifying statistic, let's change it.

Love

Donna.x

Staying light

There is a really easy way to make your life better...take notice of how you feel. If you feel good, do more of the good feeling stuff. If you feel bad, what can you do that would feel better?

Feelings are not just there to make your day interesting (said from the perspective of a hormonal female with period pain!), they are your guiding signals.

Are you listening?

Love

Donna.x

Sunshine and foolishness

Oh, how I love the sun! I was very excited this weekend when the sun shone for DAYS on end (if you're not in the uk - it rained for WEEKS on end so sunshine is exciting). In my excitement I completely forgot about sunscreen. Yes, I know...stoopid. Especially as I am the colour of milk. I inherited my mother's pale Irish skin, and can stay in the sun for about 5 minutes without burning.

However, yesterday, 30+ years of bitter experience disappeared out of my head and now I look like a letterbox wearing a white vest. (I was hugely amused that a couple of people said I looked radiant! Sunburn, dear.) Anyway, the purpose of this post is not (just) to ridicule myself (as much fun as that is). It is to note that sometimes we do stupid things. Sometimes we forget what's good for us, and sometimes we have to face the consequences (4 bottles of aftersun being schlooped into my skin...)

I could (easily) berate myself as an utter imbecile, put myself down and generally be mean to me. But I won't. Not only is it an unpleasant thing to do to myself, heckling me is never a good way to get me to do anything! I made a mistake. I am paying for it. (why can't you get sunburn in the winter when you could do with the extra heat generated?) I won't make it again this year. That's good enough for me.

What are you berating yourself for? Could you let go of the need to punish yourself just for today, learn the lesson, and let it be ok? Perhaps even see the funny side?

Love

A Radiant Donna.x

Donations

The observant among you may notice that to the side of this blog is a 'donation' section - this is where you can give me money if you enjoy my blog...and if you want to!

I got the idea from Jody Reale - it is rather random, and that is why I like it!

If I am having a positive impact on your life, and you would like to give me 50p for doing so (or more...or less!), please do so - paypal is easy to use and fully secure, and I would be most appreciative!

With much love

Donna.x

No rules

I found this quote today:

"Hell, there are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish something." Thomas A Edison

No rules. You can do it your own way. What is it you are trying to accomplish? And what can you do when you realise the truth that there are no rules?

Love

Donna.x

Better than 'Fine'

In Michaell Neill's 'Tip of the Day' today:
"In the remake of the movie 'The Italian Job', Donald Sutherlandasks Mark Wahlberg's character how he feels.
'I'm fine', says Wahlberg.
'You know what 'fine' means don't you?' replies Sutherland.'Fu**ed up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional.'"

This sums up why I don't like 'fine' as an answer to 'how are you?' It's just depressing. While I lived in Australia, I loved that Aussies answer 'how ya goin?' with 'good'. It may be just a word, but it's a far more cheery word than 'fine' or 'ok' or 'not bad'. What's wrong with 'Fabulous', 'Fantastic', 'Magnificent', 'Superb', 'Wonderful', 'Outstanding'? Ok, outstanding is a bit un-British, but trust me 'Fabulous' is a good answer to 'how are you?'

It's better than Fu**ed up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional anyway!

Love

Donna.x

Self care, self care, and more self care

I'm not well today so it'll be a short one, I just wanted to share with you what I do to take good care of myself.

I ask myself, do I feel cared for right now?
Answer: No, I'm full of cold and I'm tired and I need my bed.

Then I ask, what can I do to make myself feel cared for?
Answer: switch off the computer, go to bed.

And I don't just do this when I feel rubbish, like I do now. I do it every day. Think of yourself as a machine. If not treated right and serviced regularly, that machine will break.

So, do you feel cared for right now?

Love

Donna.x

Knowing What You Want

In my newsletters, I ask 'What do you Want?' and 'What stops you?' I had a question "What if I don't know what I want?" from Tiziana of http://sacred-ceremonies.co.uk. I wanted to share my response to this as it is a GREAT question, and I think is relevant to a lot of people. (and if you DO know what you want, skip to the enthusiasm question toward the end).

It is very true that what stops people from having what they want is that they don’t know what they want! This is actually a fabulous place to be, because you get to play with what you might want and have some fun finding out what it is you want in your life. Do you know what you want? No?

How do you find out? Here’s a few questions to stimulate your thinking:
¯ What do you definitely NOT want? What is the positive opposite of that?
¯ What makes you happy?
¯ If your life made you go ‘wow’, what would it look like?
¯ What sort of things might you want?
¯ If no one was looking, what would you want?
¯ If there were no obstacles to overcome, what would you want?
¯ If you could wave a magic wand, what would you wish for first? And second?
¯ What goals have you had in the past? What goals do you have now?
¯ What’s your ‘secret’ want?
¯ What would you want if you didn’t have to figure out how to get it?

Set aside some time to play with these questions…note down any ideas that come to you – don’t censor anything, and let the ideas range across your life from the sublime to the ridiculous! Once you have brain dumped everything, look again and see what your level of enthusiasm is for each one. Any less than a 7, park for now. Any at a 7, what would make it an 8? Any at 8-10, what’s the first step?! (if they’re all less than a 7, go back to the questions and this time, really allow yourself to DREAM BIG!)

I hope that helps you to get clear on what you want – I would love to hear what you come up with. And if anyone would like any one to one help with this, let me know.

Love

Donna.x

Virgins and Nakedness

The last 24 hours has seen me open-mouthed in horror at the 'help' given to the desperate virgins, and equally open mouthed in admiration at the magnificent Gok Wan in how to look good naked. Here's what disturbed me: not allowing someone to be themselves and for that to be ok. A virgin? So what! We can be so judgemental at times - me included. I started to watch the desperate virgins with a smirk...and ended it by either wanting to help and encourage them and build their confidence, OR really pleased for them that they had done the deed!

Contrast the unhelpful 'advice' given in desperate virgins (not all of it, some of the people were really helpful...and some of them were destroying confidence rather than building it) with the wonderfully confidence building 'advice' of Gok Wan. What's the difference? GW is looking for the beauty in someone, and showing them their beauty...and building their confidence. I just caught up with the last episode, and was in tears of joy at the end.

To see someone looking so confident, so compelling, so attractive, so sparkling and so beautiful in such a short time was so heart-warming. For the less body confident amongst us (and for the less body confident days we have!), I quote Gok Wan "Stop judging and start enjoying your body". Male, female, virgin or hugely experienced - pin that quote to your mirror!

And your mission for this week - to see the beauty in someone you know, and show them their beauty...especially if that someone is you.

You are beautiful.

Love

Donna.x

A Maturity of Emotion

As a single woman, I sometimes forget the extraordinary highs and lows that come with relationship. I had an interesting reminder this weekend - going from glowing to green in 3 days flat. I ran the gamut of emotion - joy, passion, love, fear, insecurity and lastly, jealousy. For the first time ever, I have been able to observe my emotions rather objectively and enjoy them for what they are.

What is that? Distractions, but not realities. What normally happens when you feel an emotion? Do you lose yourself entirely in it? Do you relive it? Do you intensify it? Does it define what kind of a day you have? Here's an example of what I used to do: feeling love...hold back a bit, not give myself over to it, keep myself 'real', question it; feeling insecure...revel in that feeling, intensify it, allow it to take over my day, relive the 'film' of the event that prompted the feeling.

An interesting way to do it don't you think? Minimise the good feelings and maximise the bad - that way I won't get hurt. Anyone else spotting the flaw in my logic? Yep, that's it - that way I don't really get to enjoy any of it! I am happy to report that things are changing - I am reveling in the good stuff and minimising the bad. Given this weekend's events I could EASILY have done the opposite. But why would I want to do that?

My challenge to you this week is 3-fold:

1. notice the emotions you are feeling
2. Notice if they feel good or bad
3. If they feel good, intensify...if they feel bad, minimise

Here's my top tip for minimising the bad ones: see the funny side. Here's to revelling in the highs of emotion.

Love

Donna.x

How to irritate an insomniac

I heard a question on the radio the other day:

How long does it take the average person to fall asleep? A. 1 minute B. 4 minutes or C. 7 minutes.

My initial reaction was 'WHAT?! It takes me 15-90 minutes!' My reaction when I discovered the answer is 7 minutes was to scowl at the radio. 7 minutes? 7?!! The B£$*$$ds! Now, most of the time, I have absolutely no desire to be normal or average. It's boring. However, on this occasion, I LONG to be average. Imagine that? 7 Minutes. A mere 7 minutes. For about a month recently, I was taking about 15 minutes, and I was loving that.

In terms of helping me sleep, this particular statistic is up there with mice in the mattress. Bah, humbug. And do you know what really annoyed me? Last night I was lying awake wondering how it would feel to fall asleep within 7 minutes...for about 30 minutes! I have decided that I am obviously exceptional - taking so bloody long to fall asleep, and that I should revel in my individuality instead of glaring at every person I meet who is a '7 minute or less' sleeper.

I'm sure that will be a comfort to all insomniacs...not! Happy sleeping this weekend.

Love

Donna.x

1000 moments of joy

I had a very random thought this morning, about creating a list/e-book/something of 1000 moments of joy. You know, like seeing the sun come out from behind the clouds; that inappropriate thought in the swimming pool (good job my blushes are under water!); the view of an empty, open road to drive on; the excitement of a dog when she sees the lead or a squeaky toy; snuggling back down for a lie in on a wet wednesday; the lights going down at a gig; a favourite song on the radio; meeting an old friend; belly laughs; being able to drive your car after 3 days with a flat tyre; that friday feeling; falling in love; falling in lust...and the list goes on.

Why would I want to create this list? Well, the very cool thing about memories of moments of joy is that as you remember them, you can feel them again. Another item on the list: the joy of remembered joy! Ultimately, I want to create this list for me...and other people might enjoy it. I suspect what they'd enjoy more is the joy of creating their own list.

So, here's your homework: 1000 moments of joy for you. I would love to hear what some of them are, so do comment.

Love

Donna.x

Following the inner stirrings

I'm a big believer in following your intuition. My intuition has never let me down. Unlike logic, which lets me down on a regular basis. I know there are people out there who believe in logic, but it's not a way of working I trust. Logically, Australians should walk upside down. See? Logic is a bizarre way of deciding things.

Anyway, back to intuition. I just had a 'stirring' to pop along to Ecademy. I have been a member of this online networking place for ages, but hardly ever visit...and usually visit when prompted by logic and spend 20 fruitless and boring minutes there. This time, I instantly spotted a post from someone with a question I had an answer to. AND this person was giving away a free report.

At this moment, I have no idea if this connection will bring fruit or not. No idea whether the freebie is any good to me. BUT I was on Ecademy for about 3 minutes, and came away feeling like I'd done something good. If nothing else, some energy was moved...and I enjoyed another 3 minutes of my day. I suspect there will be a lot more to be said about this 'random' action though...

What is your intuition prompting you to do right now?

Love

Donna.x

Flowing with your energy

I had a bit of a circus this weekend...

Friday night, flat tyre. Saturday morning 9am, learn that wheel brace is corroded inside and can’t get any of the nuts off. Have to phone friend’s husband to come to the rescue. Saturday morning 10am, discover that locking wheel nut won’t come off, much sweating, swearing and muttering ensues. Saturday morning 11am, pump tyre up with foot pump and drive to garage…learn that Porsche garage doesn’t have the right equipment to do the job. 11.03 drive back to house and watch tyre go flat again. 11.15, friend’s husband gives up and my dad calls a garage guy we know who had stopped to ask if we were ok. He promises to pop round with the right bit of kit. 1pm, I tell my friend in Wiltshire that it is looking unlikely that I will be coming to visit tonight as after we get the wheel off, I still have to get a new tyre…and its Saturday afternoon.

3.30, 4 hours later, chap calls round with ‘bit of kit’…all nut cutters are too big and can’t get purchase on the nut. He promises to call again in 10 minutes if he has the right one at home, or will come back on Monday. 6.15 calls back to say it’ll be Monday. Sunday 2pm: Friends husband returns in the pouring rain – this nut has been annoying him for past 26 hours. 2.45pm: Man from Atlantis goes home again. (Bless him, it was pissing it down!) 5pm dad says he saw bloke from the local garage who reckons he can sort it in 3 minutes flat. Monday 10am: I am back outside with foot pump trying to get enough air in the tyre to get it to the chap at the garage. 10-15 am: nice man stops to help. 10.30am Bloke at the garage isn’t sure he can do it as it’s so badly damaged. 10.40am he announces victory! 64 hours after spotting flat, I finally have a new tyre...who would have thought just changing a flat could be such a circus?!

Now, really, in the scheme of things this wasn't that big a deal - but the stress of it hanging over my weekend did affect my energy, and the disappointment of not being able to visit my friend that I haven't seen for a year! And I have realised that my chronic fatigue is partially set off by stress. Hence, today, I am SHATTERED! Now, I could say I'll pull myself up by my bootstraps and not be such a girlie wuss, but that wouldn't help matters. That's how I feel, so I have allowed myself to flow with that energy today.

It has meant there is stuff not done...it has also meant that hopefully this tiredness will not tip over into tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day. Keeping your body/mind/energy/soul in tip top condition means looking out for the signs your body/mind/energy/soul are giving you every day in every moment.

What signs are you ignoring today?

Love

Donna.x

Dream, dream, dream

I came across this quote the other day "I think the problem with women is they stop dreaming" Penelope Cruz.

When you stop dreaming, you lose a little something of yourself - that lust for life, the optimism of possibility, the food for your soul.

Never, ever stop dreaming.

Love

Donna.x

Relaunching my newsletter for Small Business

Next week I am relaunching my monthly newsletter for small business - Beach Biz. This is for anyone who is in a small business and needs to remember that being in business is FUN and EASY and RELAXED. The sort of business you could run from the poolside...at least that's the business we imagine when we start out, right? If it's not quite that easy for you, sign up for 'Beach Biz' here.

Every month around the 15th of the month, you will get a newsletter about some aspect of small business, and if you have a question about being in business, or something you would really like me to cover, let me know. I look forward to entertaining you with it in the coming months. The first new issue is out next Tuesday so sign up now.

Love

Donna.x

I did Something Amazing today

What can you do in an hour that will save someone's life? That you can do lying down, chatting and get a chocolate biscuit for doing it? That's right, donating blood. Was it the choccie biccy that gave it away? I went today and gave my 10th donation...I got a little badge and a certificate. Just for 10 pints of blood and a few hours of my time. I am disproportionately proud of this little badge.

Whenever I talk about giving blood, people always talk about the needles ('oh I hate needles'), but that's an irrelevance to anyone who actually gives blood. I don't like needles either, I get really nervous when the needle is about to go in...but it doesn't hurt. Giving blood FEELS GOOD. They have a sticker that says 'I did something good today - I gave blood'. It is a good thing to do.

Giving blood could help someone live...a leukemia patient, a car accident victim, someone having an operation, someone giving birth. From kids to grandparents, lots of people can benefit. Neither of my parents can now give blood because of their health. Both of them wish they still could. Honestly, the needles don't matter! I feel good today, because I did something good. I got a badge and a certificate AND a chocolate biscuit for saving a life.

And then I got home and found this in my e-mail inbox:
“If you want to be happy for an hour - take a nap.
If you want to be happy for a day — go fishing.
If you want to be happy for a month — get married.
If you want to be happy for a year — inherit a fortune.
If you want to be happy for a lifetime — help others. ”
— Old Chinese Proverb

Do something good today - visit the national blood service website, and go give blood. It's one way to a happy life.

Love

Donna.x

Instant karma's gonna getcha!

Yesterday, I was driving along from Solihull to Hampton, cursing an idiot in a people carrier ahead of me who was mooching along that lovely fast road at 40mph – you can do 70 EASILY on that bit of road. As he turned off the road, I chuntered ‘I hope you get stuck behind a tractor’…

…2 miles later I got stuck behind a tractor.

Now that’s instant karma!

Watch what karma you are attracting today.

Dx

The Greatest Compliment

I was watching the interviews with the actors on Harry Potter 4 the other day, and Daniel Radcliffe said something enormously profound.

The Greatest Compliment that anyone can give is that someone is "completely individual".

How did an 18 year old get to be so wise?!

Here's to complete individuality!

Love

Donna.x